Asked my wife to participate in Locktober… we have played in the past, she is not a fan of the cage but I am sure it is my fault with being too pushie. last night ended with her haveing three O’s with the last one mind blowing … and I asked her to please think about locktober while at the same time asking her to not give me what I am sure would have been a great blowjob. Because she was thinking about my satification … when really I already was and ready to give her more replacing my orgasam with her 4th. She deep throated, the dildo that will hopefully server as my replacement for a month … because she wanted to give a blowjob and it is all about her need. Any advice to handle this with kid gloves?
Well keeping it low key, asking but not pushing it if she doesn't respond, may be the best choice. I know it is hard to hold back, but if you truly want her in control and to hold your keys it has to be done in a way that she is comfortable doing. Just be honest with her. Show her that her desires will be met and that you really want to hold off on your own so you can focus on her, might help her decide. Good luck and enjoy.
I will stay on pace here and let her lead. Whew, it is tough as I consider myself, as well as she does, the lead in out relationship in the bedroom and outside… but been together for 30 years, married for 26… so all is working well and enjoyable all the way around. Thank you for the guidance. Much appreciated! Looking forward to this journey and more advice.
If you've been together that long, just continue to be receptive to her needs. I totally understand challenge of letting go, when you're used to being the lead. But i think it will work better for you if you do. Just don't put her in an uncomfortable role, if she prefers to be equal. Definitely a delicate balancing act.
At least you are being honest with her about wanting to try it out for a month, just have an open line of communication about it & set some expectations. "Loctober" can be what you both make it. For example, you aren't cheating some system that really matters if you both want to do it a different way. Just make sure you are both having fun with it and no one is forcing anything.
I definitely think emphasizing to her the sexual gratification you get from being locked is key. She seems super giving and awesome and I think if she understands that her denying you IS sexually pleasing then it will probably yield some good results. Just keep it focused on pleasure instead of expectation.
Yes. Many keyholders initially find it difficult to understand that the person locked is getting at least as much if not much more pleasure than they did before. Once they realise your pleasure increases the more that they are '"mean and selfish", they no longer feel mean and selfish with guilt, they can then get pleasure from doing it in the knowledge that they're giving pleasure. It must be liberating. My wife, who has always been and still is the most demure and gentle lady, after I've given her a few orgasms with my tongue, now thinks nothing of giving me a thank you slap or squeeze on the balls hard enough to make me gasp for breath, and then she asks "Are you ok there? Your smile tells me you are, good". And it's not something I think I've ever asked for, she just did it gently one day and ever since she's noticed that the harder she does it the more I seem to enjoy it. Years ago she would have been horrified at the thought of anyone doing that, nor understand why anyone would want to, never mind doing it herself. Being able to mutually enjoy something a little kinky and secretive together does draw you much closer as a couple too.
Good job to both of you, after 26 years married. A lot of couples give up sexually for the most part by then. I think you are doing great and have the right idea. Don't push Her to accept it, ask Her to choose it. There is a huge difference. Be open and honest and She will do the same. Very best of luck. M.
Well, she is not too keen on the cage but looks like I will not be cumming before the start of locktober. she decided, just now, we are starting early. A big step for her she would have caved in the past and let me have my way. I backed off and will follow the honor system. Ugggg but respecting her wishes.