So I have been locked up now for 3 weeks - this is in fact the 4th now. Presented this concept to my wife on our anniversary by giving her the key to the device. She wasn't freaked out but so far has been totally passive. Over three weeks since I had an orgasm, which is tough, but I hope that she will soon take to the idea and start to exercise some control. Why? Our sex life has been in a severe slump for a while. I took care of my needs by jerking off, since she seemed so disinterested. The long dry spells made her start to wonder if I was cheating in some other way - she has always been aware of and OK with me masturbating, but wondered if I was paying for happy ending massages or worse. I haven't, but was unable to totally reassure her. Hence the chastity idea. The more I looked into it the better it seemed - it would stop my masturbation, which would mean more attention on her and on getting her aroused and in the mood. It would also provide the best assurance I could think of that I am not cheating - simply could not even if I wanted to. More than that, I see it as a lifestyle choice - I do want her to dominate me at times, to take control of my cock literally, and to decide when I am allowed to cum again. Hoping she will take to this and maybe even get into it to the extend of some whipping or more. Right now, I am locked with no sign of release, other than for washing once a week. If I asked her now to let me out, or said let's forget it, she would probably agree. So I could do that and masturbate as much as I want, but then nothing will change in our relationship. Plan to stick it out as long as I can in the hope that she in turn takes the reins and we starting really walking this road together.
Don't have any advise other than to say I've had a similar experience with my wife, although she does enjoy the fact that I'm going down on her more frequently and I give her foot rubs nearly every night.
Hi there and welcome to the Mansion. I am impressed by your determination unfortunately you have fallen into the age old trap to join many of your peers who have fallen before you. Let's see, you said -"the more I looked into it, the better it seemed" so you have looked into male chastity an saw that it seemed a good idea. Also you said "Presented this concept to my wife on our anniversary by giving her the key to the device" - no warning, no showing how much you care about her - just let me tell you about my new sexual fantasy and here's a key to my dick. Gentlemen please - I could go on however I wrote a book about this to help you introduce male chastity to your partners - really, there were so many of you doing the same thing. I suggest you and all the others here who know what you are going through go read the book right now, then come back and we can discuss how best to help you. It will be way quicker to fix things if you do.
I liked your book. I used a different one at first to help introduce my wife but I need to give her yours as well.
Thanks, Mistress Jules. I certainly see your point and agree that I didn't really go about it the best way. There is a lot more background to this, however, and we have talked it over quite a bit since and she is warming to the idea. I have given her a book - not yours, admittedly, but "Male Chastity: A guide for keyholders". Having started off on the wrong foot somewhat I still believe that this is a good thing for us and hope that it will eventually work. She needs time to process things generally and certainly this, so I will continue. She has major clinical depression and I have taken care of her much like a willing slave might, but totally out of love and of my own accord: I am the sole earner, I do all the grocery shopping, cooking, day to day cleaning (we do have cleaners once a week for the heavy lifting), running of errands, taking care of all the pets, the kids, the grandkids, etc. She need only say "I am out of ..." and I am on my way to get whatever it is. (Yes, I am a classic enabler - we both know it, and both know that I can't stop.) So what is really in this for her? Despite all that I have done and do, she still feels insignificant and unimportant. If nothing else, I hope that holding my key will show her otherwise. She has known for years that I masturbate - why I do it, how often I do it. She has watched me do it, I have made videos when out of the country and sent them to her, which she has always enjoyed. It is just her libido is low and we are rarely aroused at the same time/place. So given all that, any helpful ideas on how to keep talking to her about this and get her to do her own research and reach her own decision will be greatly appreciated. If, after really looking into it, she decides it is not for her then fair enough - my emotional and financial investment will amount to nothing and I can get over that, but at least I will have tried something completely different.
You are doing your best with the hand you have been dealt. Depression is a bitch! The meds tend to place sexual desire behind the back of the shelf. If that isn't bad enough, meds can inhibit orgasm. Sometimes we must simply serve the one we love. Before you throw in the towel, try massaging her on a real massage table. Also, some ladies respond positively to brushing her hair. It will likely either put her to sleep or turn her on. I will pray for you 2. Ss
Thanks. She has no problem achieving orgasm when we make love - usually more than once - just that we don't do it very often. I'm trained in massage and have a table, and most times I massage her naked we end up doing it on the table or nearby, but again that hasn't happened for some time.
Well, you talked about depression... depressed people are usually very uninterested and unenthusiastic in changing their day-to-day life. Maybe she's in a little bit of a slump right now. Would also explain the lack of sex - bad timing then. Keep being strong for you both It's very honorable what you take on for the sake of your relationship. I would be going crazy after 4 weeks of denial. Also, it would have probably been a good idea to at least inform her about this new thing you discovered before just handing her the keys. My gf and I talked a lot at the start, so she would comprehend the concept (a 22yo male who DOESN'T want to cum?) but she totally gets it now. You know, to tell her what you see in all this, why you do it and what you expect from her. Why should being kept chaste require any more action from her than to not give you the keys or any sexual attention? Alright, you bought this book, that's certainly a step in the right direction now. Let's hope she reads it and gets a little more enthusiastic. On the other hand, it took my gf about 3-4 months to make friends with the idea of me wearing a cage and she holding the keys. Maybe you shouldn't have given her control so early - ah well, captain hindsight is strong in this post.
Good points. Capt Hindsight says give her the keys AND the device by way of introduction, then talk and talk, agree, and only then get locked up. I'm in week 4 since last orgasm and frankly it is quite distracting - permanently horny and wanting desperately to cum. But, I committed to this and will see it through, unless/until the time comes that she says she does not want to do it. Also, it is giving me a new perspective - we have had conversations before in which she has told me she'd been horny for weeks on end, but for her own reasons she (a) will not masturbate and (b) has never pushed/asked for sex. She just waited patiently for me to initiate something. On my part, I felt she was disinterested and did not want to push her and make my needs more important than hers. Net result - we had prolonged dry spells that neither of us really wanted and each effectively felt was the other's fault. Now I understand what going a long time without orgasm is like, at least for me, and that gives me an insight into what she has gone through. I guess this also demonstrates my passivity when it comes to relationships with women. In my career/work I am totally the opposite.