Im doing a 3 month luck up period with my boyfriend and am curious to know from other keyholders how often you should let him out to be teased. I know everyone is different but just wanted to know what y'all thought is a reasonable amount of times would be? And what the pros and cons might be to how little or how much you do it... Thanks in advance!!!
It's really up to you and your boyfriend. I would take it day-by-day. It, also, is dependent on what you guys want out of it. Do you want to have control of his orgasms, or deny him? If you want to deny him, then progressively longer lockups would be a way, or if you want to CONTROL them, then let him out when you want. You can play games, dice rolls, earning points. It's really up to you.
I get let out for our weekend swims and locked up after my Wife has had whatever fun she desires. From Sunday evening to Saturday morning I don't get to see or touch my penis as my Wife is only relaxed enough to consider having fun at the weekends. I sometimes get to pleasure her during the week to help her relax but that doesn't mean I get anything in return.
There are no pros and cons as long as you both are comfortable with what you are doing. In my opinion there is no more advice you can give as everyone and everyones expectations are different. To make it even more confusing even your own goals might change with time. In the beginning chastity and him wearing his device was just about a symbol for the power gap without any sexual changes. With time though I got to enjoy deying him more and more so that intercourse (penetration) and especially his orgasms got less and less frequent (not intimacy and sex in general though). But we found other ways to be intimate and have fun together and especially some replacements for him that he now experiences as almost as exctiting as his orgasms before (if not more). But that is us and I can think of more than enough women who under no circumstances would tolerate any reduction of their intercourse frequency. So start slowly gradually increase as long as you stay in your comfort zone.
Thanks everyone! What y'all said is very helpful and i think i got an ideal way of what i want to happen now!!
Like everyone else has said here, it really depends on your relationship and your goals. I can only speak from my experience and what I want out of a man in chastity. If it were me, I would not unlock him for the three months. I would want to see if he can truly submit to whatever period I set for him. For some this may seem like an eternity but when you first tell your man that he will not be getting pleasure through the use of his member for a long period of time, whatever that may be, it really is a first test. How he reacts is key to understanding his level of submission. I purposely did not say devotion because a man can be devoted to his significant other, yet not be submissive enough to agree to your control. If however he shows a willingness, however reluctant it may be, then you know you can move forward with it full force. My husband agreed reluctantly but really likes to please me. And I love him for it. It has cost him big in the way of penile satisfaction. But, what he gets in return is also huge for him. So, to fully answer your question, GO BIG, GO LONG (no pun intended)! Test him but don't ever do something that will damage the relationship. That is above all our kinks. P.S. Unless you are trying for a sexual reset like I did for a period of time, it is vital for sexual contact albeit in his cage.
I get much more sexual contact with my Wife since I was locked up than I ever got before. Our sex is much less vanilla than before as well and shows signs of still getting more exciting over time. My Wife touches me much more than before and can hardly keep her hands off of my bottom. It just doesn't involve me putting my penis inside anything very often, or me having an orgasm very often. I never want to go back to how things were before I started wearing my device.
We tend to do something most days. Most often that's me unlocking him and edging him along with him making me cum in some way. Sometimes I'll not let him out and he can focus on me solely. At the moment I tend to let him cum about once a week, but might stretch that to two. We've done considerably longer, and I've had him locked up for a week with no release before. But the regular edging and near daily sex of some kind works best for us, as it keeps him super horny and me satisfied.
My wife only lets me out once a week for cleaning/inspection. Otherwise I am locked but we spend much more time touching, fondling, anal play, than ever before. We started chastity just this year so are feeling things out too. Have fun!!
Dear Miss Britt, I will defer to all the women here but I have heard from many women (including KHW above) that INITIAL lock-up is best if it lasts 3 months without removing the device at all. This seems to be most successful if it is preceded by trial periods to ensure proper fit and hygiene can be worked out. From my own experience I can say that my love for my keyholder only grew deeper and stronger as the result of my first 3 month lock-up. One thing that helped was her frequent contact.......not necessarily teasing but just cuddling and making out when she felt like it were incredibly and increasingly emotional for me as the weeks stretched on. Of course there was no limit to her own enjoyment of my lovemaking when she was "in the mood" and so directed me. My most emotional memory is when she took me out for a monthly edging (via masturbation) and then neglected to tell me to stop. The result was a 2 second realization that I was coming after around 4 months of always belng told to "stop". It was perhaps our most intimate and emotional moment ever as I cried in her arms from joy and love and the sheer intensity of my release. Hope you two find your own way. Very Respectfully, steven
I'd strongly disagree. I've NEVER heard three months is a good initial period, and without any release at all frankly sounds like a terrible idea for all involved. That would only ever be appropriate for experienced chastity players. If you made that suggestion to any of the normal vanilla women who have got into this who I talk to then you'd have crashed and burned at the first hurdle. And that's just MY reaction. My husband would have felt neglected and angry and frankly pissed off. Although given your most emotional memory is when she simply neglected you then frankly I'm not sure I have any basis for comparison of what world you live in.
What needs to be defined is the lock up, the OP did not specify the kind of lock up. There is a huge difference between 24/7 lockup and daily unlocking and teasing. From completely vanilla it takes months to be able to do a full week 24/7 comfortably. For those who have been dealing with chastity on a regular basis, 3 months 24/7 is still a huge ask. I feel there is a difference between chastity and being locked. For those wearing a device it is important that this is clearly defined.
The OP clearly defined it! Three months lock up, she is ASKING how often to let him out as part of that.
To all above, but especially to Ms.Jules and "keephimcaged" who took the trouble to correct me......... I completely failed to articulate properly the "trial" periods I suggested in the text only briefly and placed way to much emphasis on an "INITIAL" lock-up of 3 months. In my case those trial periods took place on and off over a years time with a very gentle and patient (thought very determined Mistress). In trying to help I have instead failed Ms. Britt with a woefully inadequate representation. My apologies to all and my assurance that I will think twice and probably ask an experienced woman first before I try to give any advice. Furthermore I am reminded that Ms. Britt requested female input to begin with. I am rightfully humiliated and will try to do better or shut-up entirely. Thank you for stepping in to guide Ms. Britt and set me straight.
I am the male I question. MissBritt is my girlfriend/keyholder and we have been playing with chastity for over a year before she decided to make it less of a game and more of a lifestyle. Since she wants to in the direction of lifestyle, she decided on a intial period of 3 months without orgasm. Her intent to my understanding with this post was to get real life advice from more experienced members here regarding how often she should let me out and tease me. Thanks for all the input from everyone as you have given her some great advice. Just thought I'd help clear some stuff up.
Do not feel humiliated, just because you opinion is different from someone else, having someone else give a total different view point can only good for any discussion,we in the mansion need different points of view.
I would say more contact the better if 3 months are the goal just because the key is not there the rest of the body is
Should I ask my wife for edging and teasing ? If I don't ask her to do it she doesn't do it. If I ask her she does it. But then it kills the excitement. What do you guys suggest I should do ?