Complicated start

Fun away from home.

My Wife has taken me with her back to England so we could have some meetings with various people and also catch up with some of our friends. We have been very kindly looked after by a friend I used to work with which has meant none of our usual weekend sexual fun has been possible.

We drove to the airport as we were going to fly to England. About half way there I asked my Wife if she had made her mind up whether I was going to wear my Holy Trainer as I went through airport security or not. The decision was made for me as she hadn't picked up the key to my device when we were rushing around to leave. Oh well!

I went through the scanner you stand in with your arms raised and nothing beeped, but the guy on the other side who patted me down looked at the screen a few times, looked at my crotch and gave me a funny look. I waited for a question, quite happy to tell him that my Wife required that I wear a chastity device, but after a brief pat down he let me go on. I obviously have the England airport security to get through on our return journey, so I might still have to have that conversation.

There have been a few things of note that happened over the weekend. My Wife gently teased me on our first evening in bed together. This doesn't happen very often, and she kept it gentle and quiet. My moans of teased bliss would not have been appropriate! I still ended up with the bulge under my HTv2 from the attempted erection which as usual brought giggles of pleasure from my Wife.

We had a brief chat about the email I sent her in which I explained more about how I wanted her to deny me and use me, but not to feel guilty. She says that it made her feel better, I really hope so.

The other main thing that happened is she further demonstrated that this is very much real to her, when she took me to a large department store to do some clothes shopping for herself. She chose several jackets and blouses and with my help sorted out a few outfits. She was so happy she then asked me what did I want, and we spent almost as much time choosing a new outfit for me. The fact that we were choosing women's clothes, and she was openly holding them up to me to see if they fit, not worried about anyone seeing what we were doing totally turned me on.

She chose a loose pair of trousers and a really nice blouse which are quite summery. They weren't cheap, which I protested about and was firmly told to shut up, she wanted to buy them for me.

In the past I have had periods where I doubted her involvement in what we are doing, and although I know she is still working out some of the details those doubts are now long gone. I still have no idea where her desire for me to wear women's clothes comes from but the fact she chooses the clothes is a huge thing for me. The clothes she picks really suit me, so it is obviously partly a control measure on her part, but it also is because she is good at doing that sort of thing anyway. I point out things I like and she uses that as a guide. She is currently finding clothes that are feminine but wearable out so I can go on a date with her. That is going to be quite an experience! My Wife has plans to get me a jacket and trousers, and I will need some shoes too.

I think this part of Our Arrangement is my current favorite. As I have said before this is because it is totally coming from my Wife. I am happily joining in and hoping that it goes further and continues to make her happy.

 

It was a bit of an anti-climax going through the security at the airport in England. It wasn't one of the major airports but they didn't make me walk through the scanner. I went through an initial metal detector scanner and when that didn't bleep I was just waved on. My Wife and I agreed we would not try this in America though, the border guards there have a severe lack of humour!

 

I didn't have much choice this time as my Wife forgot the key when we left home! She was at work all morning and we had to rush to get ready to drive to the airport, so it wasn't her fault. To be honest the security in England was a bit lax, I was shocked with how easily I got through, but normally we would have gone with the honour system.

My Wife is very definitely on board. She doesn't say much, doesn't do much, but what she does do has impact and leaves me with no doubt about who is in charge. We might have started this because it was my idea, we might still be doing it because it is what I want, but the things we do, when we do them and so on is completely up to her.

 

You might have noticed that my posts are a lot calmer recently @Caged Wolf - I do not know why but I just seem to have got to a point where I am more accepting of the situation I find myself in. I haven't had a 'panic attack' in ages. I feel a lot more happy and able to cope than when I first started.

 

I wish I knew why I feel so much calmer now than I did when I first started wearing a chastity device. I can't even think of when this feeling started. I would actually need to read through my journal, work my way back through the posts to find when I last had an 'episode'. What has changed that makes me not worry so much? I might get grumpy occasionally but nothing serious. I am so happy at the moment.

For instance we just had a really lovely weekend even though there was limited time for intimacy. We went to a restaurant called Bills which was superb, and had breakfast. A simple enough event, but one I was so happy doing. It was raining so hard outside that it was a relief to get inside. My Wife and I just sat, chatted, ate some damn fine food and enjoyed each other's company.

So what has that got to do with chastity? Nothing and everything. It just means so much to me, when I think how close to a precipice I was just five months ago. I came so close to ruining our relationship that I almost feel I don't have the right to be as happy as I am. I firmly believe that without the commitment I made to my Wife and the effort I have put into our relationship in that time I would not have been sat in that restaurant with her, it has made all the difference.

This evening my Wife sat on her sofa reading a book on her iPad and I sat at her feet, with our dog lying against my legs. When her iPad needed charging she suggested we went to bed even though it was still early. I was allowed to give her a massage and then the best of times, to pleasure her orally to an orgasm. I thanked her for being so thoughtful, as she must have realized that not having had the chance to do so at the weekend meant a long gap in our intimacy.

I am totally aware how lucky I am.

Maybe that is why I feel so calm.

 

I think the pace is the same as it was anyway, @Caged Wolf, it is more that I have less of an urge to speed it up. I have read so many accounts of men whose partners are either not interested, not engaged or totally against the very thought of using a chastity device that I cannot help but feel relieved that my Wife did not do the same thing. My Wife said yes, and not only did she say yes but she continues to do so. Not only did she say yes but she has taken my offer, made it hers, and then helped me see this in her own way rather than my own.

My reasons for starting this are still there. She does not want to see or touch my penis and I accept that as my burden. It is my own fault. But she does still want to touch me, to love me and she still enjoys being intimate, just in a very different way than before. If I have any doubts or fears it is that she will become disillusioned or simply bored with me and the chastity lifestyle and decide she does not want it anymore. I cannot force her to do anything she is not comfortable or engaged with so I just continue to accept her lead.

 

There is one thing I am seeking in all of this. Several weeks ago I had brought my Wife to an orgasm and I lay next to her, floating on an incredible, almost electric feeling of joint bliss. My ticker tells me it is now over two weeks since my last orgasm, so far I have not felt the same depth of enjoyment bringing my Wife pleasure. Am I trying too hard? Was it a one off, or is it that I need to submit more? Is it linked to the length of time between orgasms? Will I get back to that feeling in a few weeks time?

If that final option is the one that is needed for me to get that feeling back then I happily state I never want another orgasm again. It was so amazing, so intense, so much better than an orgasm. I am trying to relax into that feeling, not to attempt to force it to happen. Luckily my Wife keeps giving me opportunities to try.

 

No bedroom fun tonight, my Wife has got her nose stuck in to a good book, so I have no chance haha! We did go to the gym together earlier this evening, where I found out I had lost another kg. I am now 98.5kg, a loss of 9kg since Feb 4. I still have a bit of a gut to get rid of, but it is slowly going down for some reason my body is converting fat from other parts of my body first. I am approaching a weight that I have not been since my late twenties early thirties.

My Wife is very happy with my efforts so although I was told not to shave my face as I wasn't going to be required this evening. I did however get extra special treatment in the shower. My Wife is becoming an expert at teasing me while she washes my back and bottom. She really likes seeing how her efforts are rewarded by a stifled erection. After the shower I tried on the two dresses she bought me before Christmas. Both fit me far better than when she bought them. I can't believe we had a conversation about whether I should buy some breast forms as they need to be filled out a bit up top. My life has changed so much!

I have just realised that I have been locked up in my Holy Trainer for 10 days, a new record. Also in two days time I will have been wearing the device for three months. Has it really only been three months? That is quite incredible.

 

I just noticed that I have posted over a 1000 messages in a little under 3 months since I joined the Mansion. I am such a chatterbox!

I suppose a bit of a review and a report Is in order.

This is the best thing I have ever done. It has revitalised my marriage, given me purpose, focused me and helped me be a better husband.

Numbers. As of today I have been wearing my Holy Trainer for three months. In that time I have had two orgasms, one three weeks ago, one nearly six weeks before that. I don't miss them or seek them. If anything I have come to see them as an addiction, a habit that I went cold turkey to break. There are times when I hope that my Wife really denies me them pretty much for good. Once a year to remind me what I am doing and why I am doing it would be good, but it is not up to me. So far I have still not got to a point where I am desperate to have an orgasm, so I don't know what the begging stage feels like.

My Wife on the other hand has orgasms when she wants, primarily from oral sex of one description or another. I plan on getting her a wand massager as she is not satisfied in any way by vibrators that mimic a penis and are designed for insertion. I didn't start counting how many she is having until the beginning of this year, and that is only a private little project. Things have slowed down since we got into February as we have been busy with travel and other events. I was hoping to get in a few more for her this weekend, but that is now unlikely to happen again because of real life.

The longest I have worn the HTv2 is right now, 12 days straight. It wasn't planned that way, it has just happened because of real life stuff. It looks like the period will stretch to at least this coming weekend as we are going away for a few days to family further south in Germany. That means no fun and games for a second weekend in a row, but real life always trumps any tease and denial we might have planned.

My biggest fear is still that my Wife will become bored with what we are doing and stop. I have no information to base this fear on, it isn't a rational fear. If she told me tomorrow that she was no longer interested in being my Keyholder I do not know what I would do.

I have stopped starting every post with the announcement that I am new to chastity. While I do not think I am an experienced member of the Mansion yet I do feel like I have passed a sort of probationary introduction period. I suppose I am at Orange Belt level.

I still realise how lucky I am.

The next three month period is timed nicely to end just on my birthday. I have absolutely no idea what will happen in those three months.

 

My Wife and I are visiting friends in central Germany, almost a four hour drive from where we live. This means not much chance to be allowed to talk about our ongoing development of our chastity lifestyle and less chance of having any intimacy. This is hard because last weekend we were staying with friends in England, and we have been busy during the week,so it has been a good while since I have been able to have some quality bedroom time with my Wife.

It doesn't however mean that nothing has happened. We were watching the rather dull Ireland France Six Nations rugby match sat next to each other on the sofa. Our son was on another sofa, headphones plugged into his phone playing a game. My Wife laid down and rested her legs across my lap. Her ankle was pressing onto my holy trainer and it was obvious she could feel it. She started slowly stretching her leg, rubbing her ankles over my lap, and I quickly became stimulated.

All of a sudden she looked at me, smirked and started giggling. My Holy Trainer was twitching as my penis was desperately trying to grow. I was trying to look like I was watching the rugby when in fact there is a fifteen minute period where I cannot remember anything that happened. My son, three feet away from me, and our friends who were wandering in and out of the room doing family stuff were oblivious to what was happening.

It is an example of what I mean when I explain to new to the Mansion mistresses that they really don't need to do very much to keep their husbands or boyfriends interested, that chastity can very much work in a busy life schedule. It is also an example of how awesome my Wife is, having fun and learning how to manipulate me in all sorts of ways.

 

My Wife just unlocked me from my HTv2 after two weeks, the longest period I have been locked up so far. The sensations in my penis are almost overwhelming! Seriously, the way it is touching the inside of my underwear is almost too much to take! I want to be locked up again, I don't like this...

 

Hyper sensitive is right, @DarkKnight. My Wife can just look at me and get a response. Yesterday I found out that the sensitivity continues even after the device is removed, we went swimming in a thermal baths and she rested up against me, her back against my front. She soon started giggling when she felt a certain appendage poking her in the back, stimulated by her bobbing up and down. Luckily I didn't have to get out of the pool for a while

 

My Wife locked me back into my Holy Trainer last night before I went to bed. It is obvious that I am now actually used to not being able to feel my penis. The HTv2 makes it a sort of blank space. I can feel the trainer against my legs, but I cannot feel what is in it. I can feel my balls being pulled if I get an attempted erection, I can feel the pressure of the mound that builds up against my abdomen, but it is as if I don't have a penis at all.

I suppose the one thing I am going to have to get used to when I get a metal device is being able to feel my penis again when it strains against the bars. If anything the thought of that makes me even more certain that I want a full belt. I was thinking of getting a Neosteel Arch, but I have just read a good report of the Behind Barz belt, so being an Englishman in Germany that is an option I am a now considering.

 

At last! It has been over a week since I had any intimate time with my Wife, just because of real life, nothing to do with a punishment or anything. For the last five days we have been visiting friends and although we really enjoyed the stay the bedroom we were in was really cold, and directly above where their children slept. Having orgasms was definitely out!

I wasn't expecting any fun last night, and didn't push for any, despite feeling very horny and the length of time since any intimacy, so I was a good boy. My Wife had also missed my attention so at 9pm she suggested we went upstairs for a shower. She really enjoyed me washing her back and bottom for her, leaning forward and opening her legs so I could first rub and caress her tight ass, thighs and buttocks, and then use the power setting on the shower to further stimulate her.

Then it was my turn. I can barely stand up when she washes my bottom and caresses my balls from behind me and she gave me a really good session. I could hardly speak when she had finished. When I had finished washing the rest of me and dried myself I found her lying on her front on her bed obviously ready for a massage. I was so happy! I started at her feet and worked my way up to her neck and took my time. When I had finished the massage I kissed my way from her neck to the small of her back, then down between the crease of her buttocks.

My Wife was very obviously ready as she very much enjoyed me licking her bottom. After a while I reached between her legs and gently caressed her pussy lips. Eventually she turned over and I got to lick her to a really nice orgasm, the first in over a week. It didn't take long, I get her very close when I lick her bottom, but have only managed to get her over the edge twice that way.

If I had a tail I would definite have been wagging it, I felt wonderful.

 

My Wife is obviously very happy with me. I got up this morning with our doggie letting my Wife have a lie in. She came downstairs before 07:30 and took me back upstairs. I didn't come back downstairs until nearly 09:00. By that time my Wife had been treated to another orgasm and I had joined in with her, having a moderate bodygasm for several minutes. It wasn't as intense as the first time I had one, but it was very enjoyable nonetheless.

I think the key to triggering the bodygasm was how worked up I was before I started giving my wife oral attention. She had been stroking my neck, nipples, chest and abdomen, and I was nearly frantic with desire. The fact that I am close to four weeks since my last orgasm could also have something to do with it. I know that I am in the interesting phase of being ridiculously horny but still not wanting to have an orgasm.

 

Yep. She cums, I don't, I don't worry if we go a while with no play as I know that eventually we will get to a point where she will get frisky. The lack of worry is the fulcrum that lets everything else happen.

 

This is incredible.

For the first time in our 28 year relationship, 25 of them married, my Wife has had orgasms on three consecutive days! Today's was really powerful as well.

I had given her a back massage, then worshiped her bottom for a good length of time before she got really turned on and turned over. I was worshipping her pussy when she suddenly said that what I was doing was nice, then she started thrusting her hips up and down, rubbing herself into my face. It was one heck of a ride!

just before this I had my Wife laughing hysterically as I tried to learn how to balance a towel on my head after a shower. I sort of joked that if I was going to be moderately feminized that I would need to be able to do this amazing feminine skill. It took several attempts but in the end I managed it. It felt surprisingly comfortable! The weird thing was how being able to do it made me swell under my Holy Trainer!

I love the way I am able to make my Wife so happy. Seeing her smile and laugh, even if it is at my expense, is so very precious.