Ok, this post may sound a bit selfish, but it is something that has been bothering me as of late. i am a 37 year old submissive male living in New Jersey, and have been in service to the same Dominant Female since 2011. She is a Pro Domme, and is 49 years old. She does have a handful of submissives that attend to Her needs. Since pretty much the beginning of O/our time together, i have served as Her cleaning slave and Her chastity slave. Service usually takes place about twice each month, and includes: cleaning Her home (about two hours worth of chores), providing flowers, footrubs, and anything else i am instructed to do for Her. In exchange for my service, She assumes the role as my Keyholder. Usually lockups will last about 2-4 weeks; although just last month, She and i finalized a chastity contract that gives Her complete autonomy over my penis. Hence, She will be keeping me locked for longer periods of time going forward. In addition to being my Keyholder, She will provide discipline as part of my training program. This may include: nipple torture (one of Her favorites), a caning, flogging, or mild cbt. Painful but fun of course! When locked in my device, She demands daily photos sent to Her inbox confirming my locked status. Therefore, about 3-4 photos are sent to Her each day. i also send one daily text message describing how much i miss Her, and how eager i am to serve Her once again. Being locked for Her makes me want to drop to my knees before Her on a very frequent basis, but i am limited to about twice each month. The reason for this post is that when I'm away from Her for a few weeks, She almost completely drops communication with me in every way. In other words, i will see Her every two weeks, but in between i pretty much don't hear from Her at all. It is frustrating, as having more of Her attention would be wonderful. Maybe it is selfish on my part, as She is a Dominant Female and i should not demand anything from Her. It's just difficult going so long without hearing from the Woman i adore. Is it wrong to want more of Her attention? Or should i be happy with what She gives me? Any thoughts?
Like many subjects related to domination and submission I have mixed feelings on this one. On the one hand there's a perspective that maybe to her you are just a tool or a toy, you're there to serve a purpose and she suffers your mere existence simply in order to get what she can from you and doesn't want to be bothered with you when you don't serve that purpose. The masochistic part of me really gets off on that mindset and I think if you've been putting up with that situation as long as you have then I suspect that you have a similar masochistic part of your personality. On the other hand we are human, *most* of us seek comfort, companionship, warmth, caring, interaction, etc etc, even if for some of us those things are done in an unusual way, for example, not hugs, kisses, tenderness and warm words but cruelly twisted nipples, sore bottoms, snatched glances at a naked breast, etc. So really, the answer to your question is both yes and no. they're both correct at different times, or even the same time, for YOU and I suspect they would both be correct for the average submissive also.
I haven't heard from my keyholder in several weeks. I've never even had the pleasure of seeing her in person. She owns the tiny dick between my legs and I'm still trying to the best of my ability to never cum or have an erection. I send her updates, usually weekly, not daily, unless something unusual happens, like the wet dream I had(my first in probably 20 years) a few days ago. You should be happy she gives you the time she does and you shouldn't ever complain. You get way more attention than I do, and I'm very happy with what I've been given. I promised her in the beginning I wouldn't become a pest or make demands for her time. You should do the same with your Domme and be happy with whatever she allows you.
It sounds like you're getting everything you need and more, you're very lucky. Any reason why you can't have more frequent visits, like weekly?
I don't know what your full situation is but (IMO) she can't provide what you're really looking for(again IMO). She's providing a service to you versus you actually providing a service to her. I imagine you're paying for these sessions too. As some of the others have commented already, there is a masochistic thrill of how your relationship with the pro domme is playing out, you want to hear from her badly but you don't not because she's purposely trying to mess with you but because she doesn't care. It doesn't matter to her one way or the other if you return because to her it's just business and sounds like she has several other clients. I'm not saying at all that there is anything wrong with seeing a pro domme and having her be your key holder, but the ultimately she isn't who you need if you feel you're not getting enough attention. If I were in your shoes and being submissive to a dominant woman is important to you (as it is to all of us ) I would go onto fetlife or some other website that's geared toward helping you find a match to what you want. You are never going to be fully satisfied with a professional domme because she is never going to love you. I think if you were to ask any of the sissy maids/ chastity boys on here who are married or in a LTR none of what they'd have would exist without a true connection with one another. Drop the Domme and find a real woman who wants to lock you up for your own good. Good luck!
Lockedwithlove is right on. Years ago when I first started with chastity, I found a Domme keyholder and frankly it wasn't what I was looking for at all. Now I am lucky enough to have my keyholder as my live-in girlfriend. I get to sleep next to her every night, I get to see her naked, she teases me and is ruthless with my chastity and I would quit this lifestyle if I ever had to go back to a Domme keyholder. Check Fetlife, Collarspace or a FLR website and try to find a woman who you can have a chastity relationship mixed with some kink and not just be some Domme's play toy. Good luck!
From the pro domme side, I have to say I agree with the guys. (Who would have thought that?) It seems as if you have found your niche in the world of kink, you know what you like and know what you are looking for. Your pro domme may have been very useful in getting you to this point, however it is highly unusual for a pro domme to take things to a personal level with a client. This is certainly the time to start looking for someone of your own. However, as someone who didn't start in this world as a pro domme but just as a keyholder who did things for fun, please understand that if as a female you put on a profile on fet or such that you enjoy keyholding, it doesn't take long for you to have many many guys asking if you will take their keys. I would advise starting with the personal first, find a person, hopefully on a fet site so you know they are conducive to the idea. Then add the kink once you have found someone. Having a pro domme is a great way to start chastity in that you can stop and start and no one get's upset if things don't work out as planned. It helps you get used to being locked and learning to please. There will come a time when you are ready to take the next step and make it part of your life, it sounds like you may be at that stage. I wish you lots of luck, I am sure there is someone just perfect for you out there.
Mistress Jules, thank You so kindly for Your input on this matter. Fellow subs, thank you also for the feedback and the advice given. All of what has been said makes very good sense. To clear things up, She and i have developed a modest friendship ever since W/we met over four years ago. So it isn't just a Pro Domme that i go to see on a periodic basis, as there is somewhat of a friendship dynamic involved. It is very accurate though that finding more of a romantic interest and not just a professional would be a great course of action. As most of us subs are aware, it can be very difficult to find a Lady that might be interested in this lifestyle. Believe me, it took me many years before i had any experiences with a Dominant Female. Fortunately, since 2011, i have had the pleasure of serving three different Women in real time. The Woman i now serve was actually the first, and now the relationship has grown over time. She has done a great job training me, and i am ready to find the Woman of my dreams to serve forever. Thanks for all the feedback!
The word "pro" , should be the first red flag. If she is in this for her livelihood, they she must, by definition, remain independent and not let any situation get too personal. If she is charging you for sessions, whether in cash or in services, then you probably don't have a real personal relationship, IMHO. I agree with the other subs and Mistress Jules!
@njboyincb6000 you may think that your pro Mistress is more than a financial service and she is more of a friend but that just shows she is a good pro dominatrix. All of her clients probably feel as you do. Heed the advice given above.