So, I have an addictive personality and masturbation with porn has been an issue since I was a teenager. For the past few years I have made an effort to stop masturbating, I have been successful, but only for a few days, maybe a week at a time. I noticed that when I don't watch porn my attitude toward women changes, even within 24-48 hours. I have revealed my addiction to pornography and masturbation to my wife and she understands and is very patient and loving toward me in regards to problem of mine. About 2 years ago, I was cruising the net and discovered male chastity. I was instantly hooked! I spent many hours lurking around forums and message boards looking to learn more about the subject and lifestyle. My first device was a CB-6000 (I believe it was a knockoff from china). I found it to be very easy to pull out of and remove myself, so I started looking at devices that require a PA piercing. Now, I am the kind of guy that doesn't have any piercings or tattoos and am not into any kind of body modification, but I felt compelled to get a PA. After discussing this with my wife, we decided to head to the local shop and she watched as I received my PA. 12 weeks later I put on a PA 5000 for the first time and after a small modification to the bend in the hook, I felt as if my best friend was in jail. I could see him, talk to him, but not go out and play with him. Boy, did I get a lot of things done with all the free time I now had on my hands! My wife also enjoyed the fact that I wasn't wasting time every time she left the house. I wanted her to understand a bit more about male chastity and what it meant to me, so I purchased a few books to read with her.....hoping she may take the reigns a bit. She is not a dominate person what so ever, and probably would be categorized more as submissive, so you see this is a problem. Over the past 2 years we have played with chastity, but I am sure most of you understand as soon as I take the device off and have an orgasm.....either with or without her... it does not go back on. Because she lets me top from the bottom the time in chastity never lasts very long. I am looking for resources or advice on how to bring a bit more dominance out in her. Perhaps share some ideas or some forums with her on this subject. I understand she isn't going to walk into the room tomorrow night dressed in leather, wielding a whip, and that its not all about me, but I would like her to be involved in this a bit more so she better understands why this is exciting to me and beneficial to us both. Any help would be greatly appreciated. Thanks everyone! Larry
From what you've written it sounds like you are the one holding the key. The first thing I'd recommend is that you find a way to take that control away from yourself; either by giving it to your wife and explaining how much you trust her to give the key to her or use some sort of time lock device such as this one http://www.thekitchensafe.com/pages/products?gclid=COiO6-mo0cECFQjItAodXzcAwg Or a slightly more radical suggestion but very workable (from personal experience) discuss with your wife the idea of handing the key to a third party who is more naturally dominant and therefore willing to take that responsibility. Hopefully after having the key out of your possession for a more significant period of time she will come to recognise the benefits and be more willing to hold it her self. I would certainly play up the issue of trust that you would be placing in her by giving the key to her. The housework side of things should become self apparent. That just leaves one area which is your sex life with your wife, would she be getting more of what she wants if you are locked up? I know that isn't the case for all women.
@Kontraband, thank you for the reply and advice. I talked to my wife last night a bit more, I used the words "trust her" and she has agreed to take a bit more control. We can only wait and see how it goes. As far as the sex life is concerned, she feels bad if I get her off and I get nothing in return. I tried to explain to her that I get a lot of enjoyment out of pleasing her (sexually and non sexually) and I just would like to be teased a bit more from her. She has never had an orgasm from penetration, only clitoral stimulation, so I don't know if she would be missing much of me if I am locked up anyway. I am also wondering if there are any resources that are good that I could show her that would give her ideas for Teasing and Denial. She is very vanilla and needs to start off slowly with some basics.
Your situation sounds very like mine. My wife just agreed a week ago at the third attempt to give this a go and like your wife is pretty vanilla with a naturally submissive nature. I normally take the lead, but on this occasion I have been consciously trying not to top from the bottom. She has been happy this week with me taking a submissive role and she has enjoyed the extra attention and the orgasms I have given her with my tongue but she is struggling a little bit with the teasing part. The site that I found useful for her to finally understand what it is all about is this: http://www.tickleberry.co.uk/male-chastity/lock-him-up/ Its written from a female point of view and although not that extensive did manage to explain to my wife why I wanted her to be the keyholder and open the dialogue for me to explain what I wanted and what I didn't want. Its early days for us on this journey and hopefully she will grow more into the role with time, but I too would be interested in any resources other member can suggest from a female friendly perspective that might help my wife begin to take the lead more. I know its probably not exactly what you are after, but the female tone and matter of fact approach of this site seemed to resonate.
Thank you @K1nky6uy, that is a great article and I will be showing this to my wife later today. I just finished reading it and there are a few great points in it that have never crossed my mind. Thinking back through the past 2 years since her and I started playing with chastity, it has been she who has suggested me putting the device on several times. Seems like we would get into for a while and then take a break....I suppose that could be somewhat normal at first when just starting the discovery of chastity. Thank you again!