I'll explain the title of this thread later but for now I'll just say that I stopped pleasuring myself at the beginning of the year. Today is day 14 in Chastity as my wife and I last had sex two Saturdays ago. I am completely hooked and loving (almost) every minute of it. In fact, I'm pretty sure I could have had sex last night and also on day 9. My wife was promising me sex on both days, and I don't think she was meaning to tease me. But for whatever reason she didn't follow through. At this point my wife is not dominate, although I am trying very hard to please her and she is definitely noticing. At one point she was wondering if I had done something wrong that I was trying to make up for, and another time she wanted to make sure that I wasn't terminally ill. At this point I am just ecstatic to be in my cage, with her knowing and being comfortable with the idea. At first I had a few expectations but now I'm learning to let all of that go...
Like many of you, I started with the idea that my wife would order me to be locked up and then hide the key or wear it around her neck or something. While I suppose I could get her to put a key on her key ring, she made it clear that she was not interested in checking up on me to see if I had accessed an emergency key. And why should she, since I have promised not to touch myself with or without a cage. In fact I am not locked at all now, as I have replaced the lock with a piece of piercing jewelry, which is much less bulky and more convenient. I am actually glad about this as I do not have to bother her if I have a problem while I get closer to wearing it 24/7. There is nothing seriously kinky going on but I am getting teased a bit in various ways. One night my wife let me attempt to paint her toes...I did ok but it was hard work (for both of us) trying to get it right! The best part was going to bed before they were completely dry...she couldn't put her feet under the covers so I had to keep her feet warm with my face and hands! The smell of her beautiful feet along with the fresh polish was intoxicating to say the least. After a few minutes she had me get the hairdryer and hold it over her feet. I really enjoyed seeing the smile on her face and I was definitely straining against my cage! Oops, the light from my iPad is keeping my wife awake...gotta go!
We had a nice long cuddle session this morning...finally I moved down and put my face between her lovely ass cheeks for a few minutes of bliss, and then spent a few minutes kissing the bottoms of her feet. She normally doesn't allow me near her ass unless she is just out of the shower, but today she didn't object . After a few more minutes she got up and made her morning coffee and moved to the living room...maybe she is better at teasing me than I thought! We are snowed in here so it could be a long and interesting day.
I've been meaning to update this for a while, but I find it genuinely difficult to figure out exactly what to say. My last stint of chastity ended Saturday, after 22 days. This is the longest I've been and also my wife has now begun to tease me regularly. I realised she didn't really know what it meant to tease, but I figured out a way to introduce it to her, and now she really likes doing it. Some consider this topping from the bottom but I think it's more of learning how to ask for what you want. It was a Saturday morning and I was unlocked (I often am on the weekend) and I was asking for some attention. My wife was saying maybe later and then I said how about twenty strokes? She was like alright and she counted out 20 strokes with her hand and that was that. But that was how it started. We were about to go on a short vacation and we had discussed a week or so before that I would wait until then to have an orgasm. My wife said that I would not be locked while on vacation and I didn't protest. So after the 20 stroke session I had the idea to ask for a short tease each morning while we were on vacation. It worked. She would idly stroke or rub me while reading each morning and it would eventually lead me to the edge. She would say 'no cumming' or something similar and I really enjoyed it. I made it a point to really thank her for teasing me and it was a great way to start our day. I would spend the rest of the day trying hard to please her, rubbing her with sun tan lotion, fetching her coffee or whatever she wanted. In the afternoons we would have sex and she would let me come, although she did tease a little about not letting me come one day while we were having sex. Another highlight was that I made her come with with my tongue and fingers which I had never been able to do before. For 8 years we had always just resorted to the vibrator but since we didn't have one with us that wasn't an option. I was totally surprised and pleased to make her come in this way and I haven't been able to get it off my mind since. So after our vacation the 22 days began. We didn't discuss how long it had been until 16 days, which was my previous longest. I thought she 'might' let me come so I told her, and she understood that I wanted to go a bit longer and we agreed that it would end on Saturday, which it did. Oh, I almost forgot...I think Thursday I asked her again if she would keep the key. Without hesitation she said yes! She took it immediately and went off to hide it, and seemed a little giddy about it. Also after sex on Saturday we were discussing how things were going and she actually said, "Be careful what you wish for"! She doesn't know about this site and to my knowledge has not done any chasitiy research on her own. I have to say I am very proud of how well my wife is doing and I love her very much!
Well done, I must say it sounds like you're making a splendid job of training her. By the way have you ever considered adding an avatar to your profile?
Don't get me wrong... I am treating her like a princess and she is becoming quite accustomed to having me do all sorts of things for her. She sends me on 'scavenger hunts' for various articles of clothing in the morning (I used to always sleep in), and I prepare her lunch and coffee before she heads off to work. As far as an avatar, my pictures seem to be way over the size limit, and I am not sure how to convert them to make them acceptable.
My wife teased me for over an hour last night. Most of my teases occur on the couch, with me fully naked and her fully clothed and watching tv (whatever she wants to watch of course). Being on the couch, there is no chance that I am going to be allowed to come, and last night was no different. After a slow buildup I think I was on the edge for about half an hour. My wife would stroke me really fast until I had to stop her. Over and over. She was laughing, stroking, and of course telling me not to dare come. At one point when i was right on the edge she said what do you think will happen if you do come? I said I don't know and then she and I both ended up laughing, because we both knew that she did not have a consequence in mind...
When the tease was over it was time for bed and I asked her if I should get locked up. She suggested I do it first thing in the morning but I begged her to let me lock up right away, saying it would be too much temptation after getting all worked up. Thankfully she allowed me the extra time to lock up right away, as I probably would have had trouble sleeping otherwise. After getting settled in, I thanked her for the tease as usual. Then I reminded her that (tomorrow) today would be 11 days since my last orgasm. I suggested that since I was past the half way point, I'd like to go past my last period of 22 days. She seemed a little unsure about it, so I said, either way, it's up to you. She worries that I will feel neglected. I try to reassure her that I am fine as long as there are teases and cuddles. Also, of course, I want to go down on her very badly but the opportunities are scarce. I know that she enjoys it but she is always so worried that she is not clean enough. I can't seem to convince her otherwise. I feel a bit sad that so many women feel this way. It must be ingrained somehow by society.
I got my wish today...got to go down on my wife while caged. She offered to unlock me and let me come but I decided to stay locked, wanting to go past my previous stretch of 22 days. I couldn't quite get her over the edge and eventually she asked for her vibrator. Actually we have 2 since I bought a new one as the old one seemed like it might die at any time. She was still having trouble coming and so I decided to grab the other vibrator to use on myself, knowing it would turn her on. I figured since I had been given the option to come it might be a good opportunity to introduce a ruined orgasm. She came and I dribbled and then tried to explain that it wasn't the same as a real orgasm as I did not have any spasms. Of course it still feels like I am orchestrating things a bit too much, but I don't think she would have suggested a ruined orgasm in a hundred years, and today I got to introduce it to her. I love being chaste, and I don't seem to feel the same frustration that many do. Anyway, she suggested that she might tease me some more tomorrow, and if I make it past that, I should be set to go 22+ maybe a month this time! I don't know if this is that interesting to anyone but I am enjoying the journey, even if my wife is not exactly dominate, at least in the bedroom. I am now locked all the time, except for teases, which has been my goal. Hopefully it will continue, as I cannot imagine going back.
Progressing nicely, I would say. Can see her attitude and enjoyment slowly improving. Enjoy the ride.
Yes, and thank you for your comment. It's starting to feel like a ride, and a great one. I could not have imagined that my wife would enjoy teasing me so much, even suggesting the possibility of a tease herself yesterday (which she did deliver on). Every now and then I will catch her smiling and almost turning away as to hide her approval at some exchange we have just had where she has clearly gotten her way. That's when I know that we are playing this game. During tonight's tease I told her she had me right where she wanted me. And she replied, "No coming, and none of that crap about ruined orgasms, are we clear?" Then she questioned me before bed to make sure I had not gotten off before getting relocked.
Not too much going on this week as I am suffering with an injury that's giving me a lot of pain. Except for when I needed X-rays, I have been locked even for doctors appointments, with no offer to be unlocked by my keyholder. Despite the pain, I have a nice low level buzz in my groin whenever I think about how my wife has kept me locked. And I am locked now for 25+ days depending on who you ask. My wife doesn't buy the idea of a ruined orgasm. Doesn't matter much, the next time I come will be completely up to her and I have no idea when that will be.
Sigh...very disappointed in myself. I was able to get myself off this morning while in my queens keep. I am not generally someone trying to defeat my device but I got overly excited reading through the forum here and started fingering the underside of my penis through the bars of the cage. I know there are various ways to defeat a ball trap type device, but just being able to reach down and finger myself to orgasm was disappointing. Piercings and full belts are not an option for me, and I really do like the queens keep. I guess the solution is to see if I can have a metal bar added on the underside of the cage (I wonder if anyone else has done this?). The other solution would be to stay off of the forums, although I like to read about what others are experiencing. On a more positive note, things are progressing slowly but surely with my wife and I. Step one was her accepting and allowing me to wear a device. Step two was her agreeing to hold the key. And recently, step three was her FINALLY initiating lock up. I think this recent progression is what sent me into a frenzy, her taking a bit more control. So I feel like I have let her down, and that my device has let me down. I'm not sure if I should tell her about my slip up. I try to handle all of the logistics of making chastity work, knowing that she does not want to be bothered with the details. It is possible I will have to tell her if I send my device off for modification - I don't think it will be that big of a deal other than some minor disappointment. Comments/suggestions welcome.
May I suggest that the reason you have trouble with your Mistress not be able to climax with your fingers and tongue, is she feels she is not clean and thus not relaxed enough. Try to reassure her its not the case quite the reverse that her natural musky taste and smell is a powerful aphrodisiac . Soap is not ,often used as a punishment for washing out naughty boy and girls mouths for swearing. Maybe some of the Mistresses will be able to reassure her that this is the case. For me having my head between a women's thighs or bottom is just about my ultimate reward feeling her grow increasingly excited and then her climax omg Xx Wendy
I did have a bar added to the underside of my queens keep, and now it is impossible to get any stimulation with my fingers. It is now the most comfortable and secure ball-trap device imaginable - thanks mature metal! I still have to ask to be locked most times, although there is a bit of embarrassment/humiliation associated with having to ask, even if it is not intentional on my wife's part. Even so, she accepts the key and so I am under her control for as long as she likes and she has become quite comfortable with our arrangement. I've been locked all week and assume I'll be locked today for our holiday meal with family and friends. It's been almost a year now and I am very happy with how things are going. My wife could still probably take it or leave it but she does seem to enjoy it at times.
Just make it clear that you really enjoy being locked for her and by her because it makes you think about her all the time. You love the feeling of wanting her all the time with no down time. Lots of closeness and displays of affection, at home and in public. Through your actions you need to show her that you really like doing things for her and to please her anyway you can, let her know its because that is what gives you most pleasure. Nothing is too much trouble for you where she is concerned. Fix her breakfast every morning, do stuff round the house so she doesn't have to. Many women love attention whilst in the bath or shower, run the bath , wash her, wash her hair help her out of the bath or shower and dry her, heat the towels and her bathrobe. Major thing, most women like talking about feelings and emotions is hard for most guys but not only do they like that but they do appreciate it when you try . Show her how turned on you get when she denies you and be sure to thank her for doing so. This approach has always worked for me when I have introduced new partners to TTTWD and to be honest I never found it to be an effort. Show her enough sincere appreciation for long enough and make sure she is getting far more out of it than she thinks you are and in time the role will reverse. Then it is she that will be wanting to keep you both locked and denied and you that can't decide whether you want to cum now or be denied a little longer. That's when the head fuck really starts. Good luck
Thanks for your reply and for the advice. I think I do make it clear that I enjoy waiting for her but I could probably do more for her as you have suggested. When I am locked we get along almost perfectly but after a few days of being unlocked issues arise. To me it's clear as day but she doesn't seem to make the connection. I guess I could always just lock up after a release but I want her to be a part of it. I'm fine with where we are at but I would love for things to go further. I will try doing more for her and see if I can increase her enjoyment.
I think it's hard for a supposedly vanilla partner to take steps that mean outwardly embracing kink. So if I were you, I would just lock up.
Last New Years my wife asked me if I was making any resolutions and I told her I was going to stop masterbating. After a week of pampering her I reintroduced the idea of chastity and she agreed to allow me to wear a device. So it's one year later and I've been locked for the last 19 days (with my wife holding the key), with a little or a lot of teasing most every day, and a few orgasms for my wife. I didn't completely keep my resolution, but I'd say I reduced my orgasms by at least 85-90%. More importantly, my relationship with my wife is greatly improved and I can hardly keep my hands off of her. I believe her comfort and enjoyment of chastity continues to develop, however slowly it may seem at times. This year I will continue along this path, and move closer to my original resolution, hoping to increase my wife's enjoyment as well. Happy New Year all, and many thanks to those who keep this site running.
Sorry, it's been awhile since I posted. Not really much to write about. Our routine was that my wife would hold my key and choose when to let me out but she would never initiate lock up. So I'd be free for a few days and enjoy a flurry of orgasms and then eventually lock up and hand over the key. My wife is all in favor of me not masterbating but would still prefer if I didn't wear a cage, although she is quite used to the idea by now. Anyway last night she asked if I was being 'good', and I admitted that I wasn't, and she said well we need to get you locked up. This was a nice surprise, as she has almost never fully initiated lock up without some kind of hinting around by me. I decided to test things a bit by suggesting that I might get myself off before locking up. She quickly said no, you do not have my permission. I was 'good' and got myself locked up without incident. So today I started by getting her coffee, making the bed - then vacuuming the house, cooking and cleaning up after dinner, and making cookies. I rubbed her feet while she relaxed and read. Then she rewarded me with lots of nice touches around my cage, even touching the cage which she normally avoids. I also spent some quality time with her feet in my face. All in all, a perfect day. I will continue to show my appreciation and hopefully she will want to make sure I am locked more often.