Ok, the title is misleading. I have felt the wonderful sensations of my wife’s vagina for 20 seconds before the urge to cum brought my withdrawal. Emla cream took care of the sensations whilst I was used for her pleasure… Following this we discovered that switching piercings for my cage is still too painful to allow any enjoyment of an evening to remain. I am now trapped in chastity for the foreseeable future. The choice was permanently free or permanently caged. My wife chose the latter. I am now into a 7 week run without enjoying the simple pleasures of sexual intercourse. In fact 7 weeks without a cage free orgasm of any sort… I browsed longingly at handjob and blowjob related porn earlier. A sense of deflation ensued; at what point will I feel these soft touches again? Just sharing in one of my “what the f” sort of moments: The fantasy of chastity can sometimes bring about the harshest of realities.
I feel your pain. I’m just shy of 14 weeks with no unlocking, no erection, no orgasm (not even ruined) and haven’t felt her touch without metal bars in the way. It definitely gives you a “what the f” moment when you remember your situation and how long you’ve been in it. Sometimes I wonder why I do this but when I see my wife happy and fulfilled I quickly remember.
This is why I’m currently struggling with it all. With my wife tired, run-down, stressed and now coming down with an illness because of it all I’m left in limbo. It’s tough, and it’s hard to be selfless and put her first when your own needs are not being met… Yet, I desperately need her to see my own battle. Chastity was one direction. Now the rules have become so much more… difficulty rigid… I’m at a point where I just need that affection. It just a tough intro to permanence. I love her. I love her more for keeping me chaste… but it was unexpected. We needed to bring our A game to the table…
In reading your many posts and musings on here if there’s one thing I’ve learned about you is that you, and your wife, always find your way despite any roadblocks. I’m sure this time will be no different despite the current difficulties.
Have you tried a Google form? There is a form I fill out each night that tracks the fun stuff like orgasms and the like but also over all arousal level and Frustration level. She looks at it every so often. If she sees a high frustration level or a really low arousal level we can talk and figure it out. Just an easy for her to track the ups and downs on her terms without me constantly bringing them up.
Funny on the one hand I am so glad that it is my partners choice each week to have pretty much traditional relations, other than that I am just locked up although we do have a little rituals in between. On the other hand I really enjoyed it when we kept up the traditional weekly thing but I was not permitted to orgasm. I wish she would revisit that sometimes...then maybe not...uummm yeah maybe...lol And then on the third hand I really find it hot thinking about being kept in the cage and being substituted by the vixskin for a longer term or months. Its her choice, but being in your situation...dammm thats hard. I can so relate, even when you know its forces beyond her and your control, it feels like a hurt, mentally you can rationalize it but you cant help feeling a bit resentful. One of 2 things always help when I am feeling like this. One is simple verbal acknowledgement by my partner that she understands, and then an reassurance that whatever it is will pass and its a matter of time only. The other is believe it or not the paddle, for some reason it works for me, of course not all women are comfortable with doing that, unless my partner is really pissed at me (in which case asking for the paddle would probably not be a good thing if she did do it), its one thing that always brings a smile to her face.
I can believe it! I love a good caning or a bit of CBT. It helps with the frustration of the cage but it is also a double-edged sword as seeing my wife dressed ‘dominantly’ or even in a cfnm capacity is also a source of great arousal. The memory lasts almost as long as the bruises. We try and keep it more natural than this. Well I try as that’s what she wants. I do keep a log of the activities that take place, the only real purpose of this is to keep my mind focused on how much she actually does. This struggle wasn’t with what she was doing for me, she does an awful lot that make me miss her pussy a whole lot more… it was more the absence of wanting to really do anything. There just isn’t any frustration of being caged when her mojo is missing. Then there’s the ‘what the f’ of why be denied? That said, when it’s there the frustration is real. We just had an off few weeks all in all. It’s a rollercoaster. I try to share these things as sometimes you read how great everything is… but we only really want to discuss it when it is good. When it’s bad, tough, slow etc, we’re less inclined to share and it gives a false reality. You see some stories about how chastity hasn’t worked out, but 9 times out of ten what really hasn’t happened is the management of expectations. We get this belief that we put on a cage and suddenly everything will be wonderful, our keyholders will become dominant and adventurous. It could lead to cuckholding and sissification etc etc. It’s bloody barmy what I read sometimes! The only real certainty is that chastity will make you focus on your keyholder far more intensely, what you make of that is up to you. What doors this opens is a reflection of how understanding you can be to her reality and fantasies. Just ranting now We do, and this has been no exception. We had a good chat about our own situations. We don’t discuss the cage, that’s just ‘as it is’, rather around the issues we’re facing individually and how we could help each other through. What was pushing us away from each other etc. I must be on here too often as I even discussed love languages and how I need to feel her touch (not on my dick, just in general). Lo and behold, this turned into something far more positive and before long she was chastising me for dribbling on her (this time I do mean from my dick!) before she had a monstrous orgasm. Now I’m really missing her pussy… that didn’t help at all! Fuuuuuckk!!
My partner doesn’t really do the dress up thing, one thing tho sometimes she will paddle me when she is half naked and I can see her bits. I can always take a lot more wacks then lol. omg I just thought if she simply put heels (even small ones) she is already a few inches taller than me………I’d be sore for while lol
Although correct (possibly, you have to question what to believe at times), this was not the point of the thread. This was not a milestone or something to be celebrated. This was a change in the direction in our chastity journey. In the last two years I’ve had less real orgasms than a typical male would have in a week. However, we have still enjoyed the pleasure of blowjobs, handjobs and intercourse. Ruins and numbing cream were a staple in our sexual relationship. That is something that unfortunately will have to change for now, it’s that or living cage free… This could be the start of my 27 years, it could be a hiccup we overcome, but it was never the goal. Even the longest of denial had a beginning and this would be a very boring site if nobody posted anything about the in between. My goal now? To accept my wife’s decision. How long that will be for is a complete unknown.