I am curious to hear from the key holders on this. Is your sub allowed to ask for release from the cage, or in some cases beg to be released? Do you like to hear the pleading desperation or would you rather they obediently accept the cage until such time that you allow it to be removed? In my own case, I cannot bring up being released at all. Asking or begging for it is a no-no (unless in the case of extenuating circumstance), and doing so only lengthens the lock up time even more.
I think it comes down to the personality of the keyholder. If she has a bit of a sadistic side sure, go ahead and beg, it only amuses her. If she's more sympathetic, it's annoying at best, or emotionally painful at worst and just ruins the whole thing. With mine, it's not that I *can't* it's that I shouldn't because I asked for this so why complain about getting what I asked for? It'd only make the whole thing worse for her which might make her call it off which has happened in the past.
No asking or begging here at all. My wife/KH has said many times, her allowing me a release (cum) is a gift from her. We never ask for a gift do we? Plus, my releases are the way she decides I'll get to cum. No PIV sex ever
My wife doesn't have a hard rule that I'm not allowed to ask to be released. I've only done it less than a handful of times, and each time she has said no. Most recently was this morning when I was testing her because she objected to me saying over the weekend that she was teasing and denying me. She objected to the denial part of that phrase. And she suggested that I was denying myself when we have talked about her being in control of my sexuality and my releases. We have mutually agreed upon release schedules in the past that we feel our best suited to keeping me in the proper State of Mind. So this morning after she teased me and I gave her an orgasm, I asked her to unlock me and play with me. With a distinct note of frustration or exasperation, she said "no I've already played with you enough. We're done." It will be interesting to see what happens in the near term.
Begging is fun. In the past I would have to be careful, as sometimes my wife would feel guilty, and using certain phrases would trigger that. Be mindful that your words have power. I also get confused when snuggling sometimes before sleep, and wonder if my arousal is wanted or not. Not a sexy thought. I came up with a simple solution. Ask! Yes... Asking for permission to beg helps her be relaxed about it, and if I ask if I may be aroused, she'll usually say "You may for a bit" and I'm instantly hard. It can really help. Communication.
I dont ask for being unlocked. But if she unlocks me and edgedms me to the maximum I easilz become a beggar. Especially after being allowed for PiV. She doesnt like this and tells me to be quiet and not to beg. A subbyhubby doesnt beg.
More of a right time and place thing here. She likes it sometimes, wants to hear how desperate I am. So I would amend @Servus comment to: A subhubby should only beg if and when his wife wishes him to.
Good luck with that I never ask to get out. She usually chooses to let me out every night, though. I never ask for sex, because she doesn't like being pressured. Still, compared to most guys here, I'm not going without. I think my longest going without was between 2 and 3 weeks, and that was unusual.
In our FLR, if I were to ask or beg for release, it would be the equivilent of asking to top from the bottom and I would be suitably punished. Since She always requires me to have an enema before any milking or pegging, I have instead asked if I need to put Fleet enemas on the shopping list. I think that has been a gentle reminder for Her in the past, without asking or begging directly. After all, I do almost all of the shopping and frequently ask about various items.
Interesting question. To me it is simple—are you in a relationship or an abusive relationship? If a relationship, communication is key. Is the begging for fun? Or is the begging a sign of a deep unmet need? If communicating risks bodily harm, that could be a sign of an abusive relationship. i have begged before. It is fun!
Yes and no. When we're playing, I love hearing the desperation in hubby's voice, and I encourage begging. It's part of the dance. As another poster said: it's fun. If it gets to be too much, I'll say something like "that's my final answer", and hubby knows it's time to stop the begging. Outside of playing, I don't like it when hubby asks about being unlocked or having an orgasm. It feels pressuring. Hubby has learned to wait for me to bring it up first. However, our relationship is much bigger than chastity. If there's a legitimate problem, if I've taken things too far, if hubby isn't enjoying the overall experience, then I expect hubby to speak up. We'll talk about it and try to find a solution that makes us both happy. This hasn't happened in a long time, but it's an important safety net.
This fits our situation as well. My wife wants me to desire her, be desperate for her and vocalize that. Not beg and act needy, but be ravenously masculine and wanting. As she says, it also gives her material to work from. While having fun and enjoying my energy drawn to her, she also has something to push back on, challenge and say no (or yes) to. The dance, as you say. But it is and isn't about this 24x7. There's a time, place and method. I agree, not asking to be unlocked or have an orgasm, but to turn up the heat, create the interplay of desire and sexual tension. This can happen all throughout the day.
In the first two years of this, my Wife still had guilt about denying my orgasms, so I had to be careful about asking for anything regarding chastity. Now she’s very confident and in complete control, no guilt, and we don’t really have any rules about begging. I said I didn’t feel it would be my place to ask for piv anymore, or to ask for orgasms, although she’s never really told me her views on this, I think she’d just tell me “NO”. I do ask to pleasure her in different ways, or if it’s been a while I’ll ask for some handjob teasing or something like that. But anything having to do with our sex lives we both understand is all up to her, and she is more than happy to put me in my place if needed. And honestly if I beg, she’s pretty great at a quick teasing response that usually leaves me straining in my cage even worse. I know all ruins and occasional full releases are given whenever she decides it’s time, other than my birthday and our anniversary.
I've never begged or pleaded for release, the excitement is in not knowing and surrendering full control.
A few years ago I suggested the no begging rule by sending her these messages... Now I can never ask, because even if I did, she'd feel obliged to say "No".
It’s only been 2 weeks since my last PIV/cum, before we starting myself with the lock. We are both new to this lifestyle so although I have not started with begging, there were times I feel so horny I thought I might. I’m just a little concerned with how begging might further alter our relationship. Besides, I cannot deny there is always that little bit of ego inside.
I'm not a Proper Keyholder, but I've toyed with chastity (more honour chastity than device chastity) in my long, long (and now completely finished) online phase, and I enjoyed being asked, being begged, description of the desire turning into desperation, and I particularly enjoyed the "beg just so I can say no" version.