I hope that you are all ready for a good old moan.............. WTF is the matter with these so called men ? I offered to be an on-line keyholder for one guy then another one asked if I would keyhold for him also. After a little thought I agreed. Now bearing in mind I offered to help in a genuine way as my life partner and I have a chastity lifestyle, I began to make contact , compile the rules of play etc... all to make things as interesting as possible. You must also remember that this all takes time and effort and a lot of trust on both mine and my partner's sides. I have spent DAYS texting one guy, encouraging him, giving advice and of course teasing only to be texted one morning with the news that his plastic lock had "broken in the night" - well I didn't believe that and told him so only for him to reply that he was dissapointed that I didn't believe him. He had taken his device off and put on another one - AND HE WONDERED WHY I DIDN'T BELIEVE HIM !!! I asked for him to text to clarify but he hasn't been in touch since.... The other person lasted only a few days , lied and was arrogant..... I would just like to say how disgusted I am at the behaviour of these so called "men" They start these chastity terms and act all submissive but the minute they don't like what you're asking or telling them to do they bottle it! There is no wonder that men have difficulty finding keyholders if this is the way genuine women get treated ! All I can say is that there is no wonder these "men" are still single , they can't respect anyone and are very selfish. They are not a patch on all of the guys on the Mansion who spend month after month enduring all that chastity brings - the pain, discomfort, sleep disturbance,frustration etc... All of these men make a real effort to please their partners, respect them,look after them and play the game, knowing just how much effort their partners put into it all... So I am now feeling VERY WARY and pissed off at the outcome of it all. I doubt very much whether I will offer again - this experience has left me feeling REALLY ANGRY !!!!!! To all you little boys out there who can't stop wanking and think they're man enough for a Mistress to lock their little cocks away - take a good think - if you can't last more than a few days, FUCK OFF ! Mistress will get back to her real man and her real life - to slave who can endure the real game of chastity.
You are not alone Ms Deb with your experiences. I have also wasted My precious time on a bunch of male tossers, who have craved control from me and then completely ignored my instructions after a day or two, vanishing into the outer reaches of cyberspace.
Kudos to you both for at least making the effort and the offer. If they can't handle full submission, then I would let them keep their own keys and live with the consequences. I am sure there are lots of men out there who would love to be able to find someone to make the offer and effort that you both have made, but unfortunately, a few idiots ruin it for the ones who really have the desire. I am fortunate to have a r/l in the flesh keyholder, who understands her position in the relationship, just as I understand my mine. Naked, locked and at her feet........
My former mistress used to run keyholding courses. Keeping males locked up was a passion of hers, but it was the bane of her life that 99% of people who started even the one week course would lie, cheat and disappear before the week was up. Whilst it depressed her she did look on the bright side that they had at least paid up front. There's two sides to this. Firstly, most people have imaginations that create fantasies that their minds can't cope with for real. Since this is a chastity forum it is obvious to most of us that a chastity and control fantasy is highly erotic. I've written about this elsewhere but for the vast majority with this fantasy it is just an extra twist to a tease and denial game where at they end they get the orgasm they want. In such games the male is still in control, he wants the teasing to go on until just the right time, whereupon he demands his orgasm. For those who signed up with my former mistress it would generally take three or four days before they decided that they'd been "good" and now they wanted their orgasm as reward. When she said no, they took the hump and went off to do it any way. Sad as it is, I would guess that you've just been in touch with players who make up the 99%. You're very lucky to have one who has had the courage to make the leap from fantasy and in to reality. Most, when faced with the prospect that they have to give up control and that no means no in order to persue their fantasy can't handle it and disappear pronto.
:act081: Morning all ! Thanks for all your comments.... Just wanted to make it clear though that no money was involved - I was doing it in a genuine way ! - then again maybe I should charge them for it and at least if they dissappear I can spend their money ?? ( that's not really me ) As for being lucky , yes I am, we both are, we understand, respect and love each other and furthermore we are both as kinky as each other lol !!! The only trouble is that when you start these things how can you sort the wheat from the chaff ? I suppose only the time they remain locked ? Anyway I'm feling much better this morning after my rant and of course the 3 orgasms I had this morning lol !!! I am determined not to let those wankers make me cynical !!!!
Mistress Deborah,please dont take the ones that are just fooling themselves as a crosssection of the males on here. there are those that truely do seek a KH that will take control.
That's too bad. I guess most are not ready to give up that kind of control. I'm not even sure it has much to do with wanking, more to do with loss of control. And it's hard to top from the bottom when you are not in a relationship with your keyholder. I may have tried that once or twice.
I agree with the comments, I just wish that these people wouldn't waste everyone's time. As for most of the men on the Mansion - they rock ! I have stated before that I have great admiration for the genuine guys out there who endure chastity. We all know they generally get their rewards lol ! but in my opinion they are well deserved ! If I were to keyhold again has anyone got any tips or ideas for me ?????
Although online keyholder is great......I think that trust and devotion to the Keyholder. maybe getting to know each other a little bit could help. I myself had an online keyholder,and it was great...... we did everyday pics with code words...etc. and I never once strayed from the path......it was alot of fun... even when it was over (the keyholding session) we are still good friends and chat all the time I'd do it again in a heartbeat.
I too am surprised at the amount of "subs" that have silly attitudes. Frankly I am not a naturally submissive man. It takes effort and I need to recognize that I am fulfilling some deep desires of mine and it is a conflict and often I get untoward feelings. But it is knowing the right actions and knowing the right behaviour that saves the day for us both, even when i don't feel like it. The selfishness in this is the failure to realize that there is more than one fantasy life being lived through this. My Mistress is thrilled with this life and She does have a hard time with me sometimes but my submission is my love for Her as well. When I have seen other "subs" at events and parties complaining about certain Dommes by calling them "bitches" with real anger...I just have to wonder what the hell are you guys doing here? And this has happened more than just once, and it was in person at a party. One guy was and is unattached and shows up at events as a submissive I suppose looking to hook up with a Mistress. So if it is any consolation it is not just on line that you will get this and this is a really delicate way to build a relationship (BUT very good delicate) in my opinion. Most of these guys need to go to a pro Domme for a season, at least for some orientation but the best and most trusting D/s relationships will be based on genuine love and trust. I suppose this is why a lot of on line key holders request a fee for service. It is a pretty cheap way to get a reward for the effort, for the people on both sides, but at least it seperates those who WANT to be serious from those who are thinking about giving it a try after reading some fantasy material. Do enjoy your "real life". all the best to you. subklik
I have seen this and other situations that are sadly, much the same and am sorry that you had such an experience, and you are not alone. Eight years ago at a major event a dear friend of mine was distraught over all of the "men" that are "submissive" that really just want their fantasies fulfilled. They would come on hard and fast, ready to experience it, let her, keyhold, collar and control. After a few days they'd whine, cut off the lock and cut off communication with her. After a few months or a year, many would come back, only to find she would not answer them, then they would get nasty. She is a Prodomme and quite well known, you would think these guys would have a clue that by now she knows what she is doing and has seen all of the games. If they would have been honest, said what their fantasy was/is and then tell her what he felt he could really handle, everyone would be happy. Be honest with what you want versus a pure fantasy, maybe you will grow into your fantasy, maybe not, but everyone will be much happier! My slave looked at doing Prodomme work a few years back, specifically chastity in person and cuckolding with me as the bull. She had this guy that would show up in a CBxxxx and after a few days he'd beg for release. She would remind them of the contract, he'd get pissed, leave and guess what? I am not faulting the device, just easier to break the contract in one. So I told her, tell them you will not discuss any chastity until they show up with a 6ga PA and at least a CB5K or some other device that uses the piercing. It became a filter right away. Why? Getting the piercing and getting it to size requires a serious commitment. At another vending event I watched a Pro make this guy pay for and get fitted into a full steel belt. Three months later, he was STILL in and she had made him go through the 90 day process out of the gate! While I believe that chastity with a full belt or a piercing and a steel device is the best security, I also believe that within the context of a solid relationship, ANY device can be effective if it works for you. It is a matter of love, trust and of course, honesty. Maybe having them go the extra mile to prove their worthiness will help but this also precludes all of the good people that don't need that extra mile. Perhaps there are better ways but I do know the filter works, I have seen it in action. Hopefully some of the good guys will show up and prove that not everyone is afraid to be honest.
Yes i agree with everything that you have said...about honesty and commitment to the journey.....and its a great feeling to be owned
First of all, I do not think that most men that think they want an online Keyholder actually realize how much work and effort goers into that. Secondly, if you do decide sometime in the future that you wish to try it again My suggestion would be to get to know these people really well thru chats and emails, phone conversations and such, build kind of a relationship with them, get to know them, thier likes and dislikes, what thier vannila lives are like and everything else about them. If they arent willing to spend the time to get to know you as a person, they arent apt to respect you as thier Keyholder. Especially if its a long distance setup. There are good dependable trustworthy subs out there, seems you just ran into a couple of fuckwits. Next time, if it comes, you'll be better prepared Mistress Michelle
I've been thinking about becoming an online key-holder but after reading this I'm having second thoughts....seems like more work for me than for the slave....I'll have to think on it some more.
I think you maybe have to send them an open marked metal lock with no key and they have to click it shut and send a photo as proof. Then you can start from there. If he is up for it he will have to make the leap of trust before you waste your time. Trust is the key element though! Or is key is the trust element?
@chianna I've now found 2 online subs that know how to play the game and are great fun! Not too much work for me and lots of fun! You tell them to jump and they hesitate they're not right for you- don't de disheartened
I found this forum rather interesting.Newbie to chastity stumbled onto this site.Joined up to get educated.Never heard of online key holder until now.Guess there would be some conflict with it.Same as dating sites its always a few that spoil it for others.Hit and miss scene. Ok hope you didnt mind me dropping a line.
Hi Mistress Deborah, It's been a while since I last posted, but felt this needed a reply. I am not surprised that you are angry - I am on your behalf. These 'fake' subs seem to spoil it for the genuine subs out there. I have had a plastic numbered padlock in place since the 1st of May for a Mistress that I will shortly be visiting. I toss & turn like anything in bed, whilst asleep & it hasn't broken at all. During this period I have had to send photographic evidence that it remains in place. Now before people assume I just send the same photo multiple of times - would be wrong. I have to take with a short message written on a piece of paper the words of which are given to me by the Mistress. Obviously with a metal padlock one can't acheive this. As I am flying my CD (CB6Ks) will be able to stay in place - without any issues with scanners. In fact the last time I flew - I had it locked in place with a metal padlock, my intention being to remove it temporarily at the airport. However it was only when on the shuttle bus to the plane, that I realised my CD was still locked on! So not sure why it wasn't picked up, but it wasn't! I would think though that the Lori tubes would be. However I think this may be happening more frequently since you are able to opt for a private search in a cubicle. The only down side to this from my point of view, is that it would probably be a guy rather than a female doing the search. Just thought - OMG - I don't know how they would have got on if locked in a KTB! Happy in Chastity! Pete