Would you tell your adult children about chastity?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by ConSUBmation, Mar 26, 2020.

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Would you tell your adult children about the benefits of chasity?

  1. Yes, I want them to have the same success i/we have had.

    2 vote(s)
    2.6%
  2. No, they need to find this out for themselves.

    53 vote(s)
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  3. Maybe, it depends on if I think it will help them.

    23 vote(s)
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  1. ConSUBmation
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    ConSUBmation Long term member

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    #1 ConSUBmation, Mar 26, 2020
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 26, 2020
    Recently, during our daily shower, I was washing my wife’s hair and I asked her if she would like to go back to how it was before chastity, which we’ve been doing for about 7 months now.

    “No. I don’t think so. You?” she said.

    “I don’t think so,” I said, with a bit of hesitation.

    Things have progressed faster than I expected and I was thinking of all the times I’ve read “be careful what you wish for.”

    She asked me why I was hesitant and we talked about our experiences and what we both liked about how chastity had changed our relationship. We are more intimate now than we have been in the last 22 years; maybe even more so than when we were dating and first married. She loves the way that I treat her and I love that just a look from her can drive me crazy. We decided that because of all of the benefits we’ve gained from chastity, without any real downsides, there isn’t any reason to change.

    This discussion then led to my question to he,r which she wasn’t able to answer, and now I’m presenting the same question here.

    If this has been so great for you and your marriage/relationship, would you tell your adult children about it (maybe suggest it) in order to allow them to experience the same benefits that we’ve experienced?

    I know from the many experiences I’ve read here at the mansion, that our experiences aren’t unique and many believe that chastity has been the best thing that could have happened to them. As parents, we want the best for our children, so doesn’t it make sense to let them know about how well this has worked for you?

    My children are still fairly young (between 9 and 20), and though I don’t know how I would approach the subject, I still think that if I thought that it would help them in their relationships, would it make sense to share it with them.

    What do you think?
     
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  2. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    I do not think well about about pressing ones sexlife on anyone else - especially ones own children.

    If you want them to "benefit" raise them to be open minded so they will find their own way in life.
    Including them in your mindfuck would not help them in any way though.
     
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  3. ConSUBmation
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    ConSUBmation Long term member

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    I guess I need to clarify here. I have no desire to share my sex life with my children or include them in my “mindfuck”. I’m against pushing my kinks on others or even involving others even if they don’t know it.

    I have talked to my children about sex. I have talked about being true and faithful to their partner. I have talked with them about the traits and values they look for in a partner. I am not passing on the things that I leaned as a youth that sex is bad and dirty and only for procreation, but that doesn’t mean I’m suggesting good porn sites to check out either.

    What I’m thinking about is whether or not this aspect of our lives, not the gory details, could be shared tactfully with them when they are old enough. As someone who had a problem with masturbation early in my marriage, it would have been nice to find out the basics of chastity much earlier. If I tell my boys that they can strengthen their marriages by focusing their efforts on their wives and not by satisfying their sexual desires by themselves, that’s the essence of chastity. Is that going too far?
     
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  4. Isopropylforyou
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    Isopropylforyou Long term member

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    There are certain things children should never know about their parents. This is one of them. Your the parent. Even when they are grown with families of there own, your still the parent.
     
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  5. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    Put is you wish, but chastity in itself IS part of your sexlife !

    If you want to talk about how to run a relationship that has norhing to do with chastity. Otherwise noone but us here could libe in a fullfilling relationship and that is not the case.

    Just think about some happy male dom marriages - I do not thing that male chastity is essential to their relationship...

    That is why I still stand with my first posting !

    Raise your kids to be open minded, mind the needs and wants of their partners), take care of them and never to take anything for granted in a relationship. To me those are essentials in a relationship and they apply whether you are in chastity or not and whether you are submissive or dominant or vanilla !
     
  6. cogman
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    I must admit I find myself worrying if something bad should happen what would my children think if/when they found our toy box. That will certainly be an eye opener for them. Not to mention if i needed to be rushed to hospital.

    In any case I couldn't tell my kids and they are all grown, I think there are some things best left unsaid.
     
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  7. MRS.Lilith
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    Certain things are not fit to share with your children, even when they are grown ups. The details of your sexlife is one of them, even if it has been amazing for you. No guarantee it's going to be amazing for them, and telling them about it is really inappropriate.
     
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  8. ConSUBmation
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    ConSUBmation Long term member

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    I don’t intend to tell my children and I can’t disagree with the points that have been made. I was thinking about how to help my children avoid some of the pitfalls I’ve dealt with and it looks like I went too far down the mental rabbit hole.
     
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  9. Shimone
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    Shimone Long term member

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    @cogman You can not always prepare for everything. All you can do is your best to avoid it.

    If you take us for an example: We do not have a toybox, but an always locked playroom next to our master bedroom. Our small one already asked about it...the answer was that at a certain age she would like to have some privacy on your own... her largest problem since then in regard to this door: When she would be allowed, to have her privacy and lock her bedroom door ?
    Well... ehem... right after she got her own household of course ! ;)

    So it is no big deal to leave your kids out, but of course she might wonder whats there or givend a certain age could maybe sneak away a key - but we are living in the same household after all... But for sure it will not be us telling her or pulling her in that ( or any other) direction.

    @ConSUBmation I am sorry if you have had problems before and you of course can help them to a certain degree to avoid them. But why not putting their attention to essentials like always taking care of your partner and you both showing them how you do such a thing in your relationship (without D/s-contect!) ...as an living example...
    Beeing an good role model yourself is more worth than any talk you could do and hopefully will not pressure them into any direction.

    And do not make the mistake to think you can help them avoiding every problem. Making mistakes is the way we learn - just give them the tools to solve their problems on their own.
     
  10. TheRealAdam
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    TheRealAdam Long term member

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    Exact.

    I have told my children that there are several ways to love and make love and that none of them is wrong as long as all participating people consent in their participation.

    I also told them that porn is fiction and that it sets unrealistic expectations.
    They are free to explore their own body, in their room with their doors closed. And please clean up after yourself.
     
  11. valesk25
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    There can be no tactful way of bringing this up with your children - I'd strongly recommend that you don't tell them, despite your obvious urges to share too much info with them- privacy exists even within families.
     
  12. madams-sissysub
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    I wouldn’t tell them about it, I agree somethings are not meant to be discussed with your children as already said, you will also be the parent.
     
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  13. CagedBySocks
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    No chance. :eek:

    I don't think it's appropriate to talk about things specific to my sex life with my kids full stop.

    Even vanilla stuff, forget the kink.

    "Well son, if you're having problems in the bedroom your mom and I find she has a real good time when she gets a good hard pounding doggy style. You run home and give it a go, let me know how it went tomorrow"

    Just no man.
     
  14. ConSUBmation
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    ConSUBmation Long term member

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    This is my final comment. Just to be abundantly clear, I DO NOT WANT to talk about my sex life with my children. @CagedBySocks There’s no fucking way in hell I’d ever talk to my children like that. I’d delete this misunderstood thread if I could. The real question was whether or not there would be a tactful and appropriate way to suggest it if it might help them.

    If I have a child that I think is becoming sexually active, reminding them to practice safe sex is appropriate, but telling them to “wrap that willy before you bend her over the hood and go to pound town” is not appropriate. I don’t have to give lurid details and graphic descriptions when discussing things of a sexual nature with my children. I hope I have a good enough relationship with my children to discuss questions that they may have in a frank, but appropriate manner. In my house, I wa taught that sex was only for procreations and was a necessary evil. I will not teach that to my children.
     
  15. CagedBySocks
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    CagedBySocks Long term member

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    I know that man, I was being flippant. :D
     
  16. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    Let me rephrase the question a bit: how would you answer an inquiry from a curious adult child?

    With the virus lockdown, our college-age daughter is home until August, at least. We certainly don't do any obvious Femdom in front of her, but as a service sub that does all the household tasks outside of cooking, it's certainly possible that she may ask one of us why the jobs aren't more balanced between us.

    My Keyholder Wife and i have discussed this possibility a bit, but don't have a good response ready to go. Anyone been through that or have good talking points? Should we just downplay it and hope she buys it?

    asa
     
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  17. CagedBySocks
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    CagedBySocks Long term member

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    If I was in your boat I'd go with something like "Mom cooks because she's better at it, I clean because I'm better at it" or something like that.
     
  18. Headtrip
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    My middle son, 22, saw this site on my phone one time (I keep it locked but I guess he figured out the PW). "What the heck Dad??!!!". Me: "Of course I'm not going to go into my personal details with you, nor should you snoop, but (my GF) and I have a very active personal life and we try lots of things to keep it fun and interesting. Chastity, Kareeza and other things all help. Some of them are quite amazing and I recommend you be safe yet open minded when you are in a relationship." To which he responded something about us having a clearly better relationship than his mom and I did and quickly changed subjects.

    On a related note, my GF managed to get one of the brides maids to buy a cage to give to her future daughter in law at the bachelorette party. A bunch of them were looking on line for sex gags and she casually steered them that way...
     
  19. b_quark
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    Our policy is to answer questions honestly when they come up, and in other cases when other peoples' fetishes were brought up we have made it clear that we do not judge. So if the topic of chastity came up I suppose I or we would be as honest as possible without necessarily being any more forthcoming than required. Beyond that, I honestly don't think I would ever intentionally mention it to one of our kids.
     
  20. Chaste J.
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    What are you all on about! Don't you know that apart from the time your kids were actually conceived, you never have sex!!!! Well that's what your kids would prefer to believe anyway! It's even worse for them than it is for us dad's whose daughters discover men! Mum giving Dad a blowjob or Dad going down on Mum!!!! Let alone locking up Dads cock and having him use a strap on on Mum! Some things just need to remain between the two of you, no matter how "modern" and "open" your relationship is with your kids! After all my daughter will always be "Daddy's little girl". And she still likes a cuddle from both her Mummy and Daddy!
     
  21. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    The actual reality of this of course wouldn’t be discussed, but having a loving female led marriage is self evident.

    My son is 14, he sees me do everything around the house, wait on her, make her coffee and lunch for work, start her car, and rub her feet. Am I running around in a skimpy maid outfit, a collar, or slobber all over her feet in front of him? No of course not. He does witness my behavior though, me being the one that makes and cleans up supper, my wife handing me lotion putting her feet on my lap saying “I could use a foot rub”, and plenty of me doting on her. He doesn’t need to know the details of what’s on my penis, to know how I treat her with deference.

    It’s funny, about 10 years ago I noticed my father being the only one to clean up the dishes and run errands. Sometimes he grumbles about it, and I notice my mom in the next room sipping on coffee or wine after dinner totally guilt free. I inquired about it and was told that they had made a deal, that she cooks the meal and he cleans up after. I am somewhat inclined to think they have a femdom dynamic.

    So I think there is a way to showcase your views without mentioning chastity.
     
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  22. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    Before we knew FLR existed, I was the one the kids most often saw cleaning the house, cleaning the kitchen after meals, cleaning bathrooms, doing laundry, etc. it was just part of sharing the workload for a family of five. We were always honest and respectful to each other, and voices were never raised.

    Today, our daughters are married to men that also share the work much like we did, and the guys treat them respectfully. I think the key here, is to be the model for the relationships you hope they will find rewarding. They will figure out their own details on who and how.
     
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  23. CagedBySocks
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    CagedBySocks Long term member

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    You handled that like a boss.

    That's honestly my nightmare, I only look at this through incognito mode and registered with a completely separate e-mail account to avoid anything similar down the road.
     
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  24. Alceste
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    Alceste Chaste Member

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    Seriously, I think that this whole thread is pointless and somewhat inappropriate.

    Personal things like this are just not appropriate to discuss with other adults who do not share the interest, or with whom you cannot just separate from if it becomes necessary.

    Anonymously, as on this site is a different story because:
    1. People here have an interest just by being here
    2. The site is for practical purposes, anonymous
    3. You can just leave the site if necessary
    But, in real life, no. Certainly not with family members. There is just too much risk, in my opinion. You cannot just separate from a family member if things prove uncomfortable or otherwise problematic.
     
  25. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Hang on there! Do you mean that CagedBySocks isn't your real name either? What a bunch of fibbers! :)
     
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