Wife's focus on orgasms

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by SubHub72, May 12, 2010.

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  1. SubHub72
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    SubHub72 Member

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    Hi,
    We are in a bit of a downturn in our FLR right now for a variety of reasons. Ever since we started with female dominance, I have really discovered that I have an intense fetish for my wife's orgasms (if there is such a thing!). She is very aware that I would pleasure her in any way and as many times as she wishes.

    She can't climax through missionary sex without a vibrator. That was our main sex activity prior to exploring an FLR. I have never minded this but we don't do that much anymore. Now, most of the times she climaxes through me "playing with her" and if I orgasm, it is after she is satisfied. Most often it is through me using various vibes on her. She seems to like it best when I apply the vibe to her clit and I stimulate her G-spot with my fingers - no cock stimulation. We do that at least once per session. Next most common is cunnilingus. However, she does not always climax that way, and sometimes she tells me to stop and then we go to the vibrator technique. I also bring her to orgasms by fingering her clit, which works just about every time.

    She can have some INTENSE climaxes through the woman on top position. This is by far my favorite: I can't come that way (I have super endurance); I love the sensations; I love watching her ride me; the focus is on her getting off, and I am sort of just a human dildo; and when she does come, it is intense. I am pretty sure that her best orgasms are through the cowgirl position.
    In all other activities, if it's "not happening", it's no big deal and we just default to me fingering her and applying the vibe to her clit. But with woman on top, if she doesn't climax, the session is as good as over. She has even cried, she's so upset if she doesn't get off. She won't let me do anything to her - she is done. She usually "allows" me to finish off in the missionary (I don't think she has denied me, but that would be OK also!), which usually only takes a half minute or so because I am so turned on by that point. It truly sucks for me because she just wants me to get off her and she is just not into it at all.

    Finally: my question. I can't relate to this at all. Can the ladies explain this to me? Why is it so traumatic that she fails to climax when she is on top? My attitude has always been that sex is "adult play time" and sometimes the game doesn't work out as you expect, but you grin, laugh about it and finish off with us both being "winners". For reasons I can't explain, the rules are totally different for this one act. She rarely does it for this reason. It seems that it is a "high risk/high reward" activity. Things can be fantastic or terrible.

    Can anyone suggest why she does this?
    Is there anything I can do to help move the odds closer for her climax?
     
  2. MistressJackie
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    MistressJackie Junior Member

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    Have you spoken to Her about these concerns or asked Her these questions. There are many reasons for why She may love an hate that position. I would like to say that if She prefers to have you masterbate Her with toys or provide give Her oral, then that's what you should do and not focus on the way you want Her to achieve orgasm. In My opinion, you are missing the entire meaning of a FLR ie. forget about your wants and desires and embrace Hers.

    As far as having options for making Her orgasm, I truly believe this is something every Woman needs to determine for themselves. I would suggest that if She wants an orgasm with a vibrator vs. the high chance She won't orgasm bouncing on you, then go for the vibrator and accept that about Her.

    Personally, I like being on top and can easily achieve an orgasm on a bound human dildo. BUT each dildo is different and with some, it's just not possible because of whatever biological reason the dildo doesn't hit the spot right. AND it can take alot of work and effort to try when you know the dildo isn't shaped right to hit the spot every time. IF this were the situation, and I owned you, I would opt for oral or toys every time, because ruining an orgasm for Me would result in some heavy duty punishment.

    Thoughts?
     
  3. lock4ever
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    lock4ever Member

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    Yes, stimulate her breasts and nipples while she is riding you. It's difficult to maintain consistent clitoral stimulation in this position, but with her in the superior position she has total control over vaginal penetration. She's likely experiencing vaginal orgasm with little clitoral involvement, which is more difficult to achieve (also, why it may appear more intense and why she gets frustrated when it doesn't and doesn't want clitoral contact).

    You can practice g-spot massage to awaken this area and she can learn to control and build sensation even more effectively using Kegels muscles.

    The same thing is possible for men; using my "Kegels" I can reach climax without stimulating my penis, and I have to say, it is 10 times better.
     
  4. SubHub72
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    SubHub72 Member

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    Good points about FLR and focusing on her. She is aware that is my favorite position and really only does it when she is in the mood - it is her call. When she does, I am excited but nervous. Excited because of the reasons I listed above but nervous because if she doesn't come, the night is ruined. I really do feel like a human dildo. I love it when she talks dirty to me, but she wants me to shut up when she is on top. She doesn't want me to try to thrust any. I am in sub-heaven because I basically just stay hard and motionless for her and any sexual pleasure I get is incidental. It is all about her. I have discussed with her that I would love to be denied in this way.

    I still am not sure I follow why she gets so angry at not coming. I guess it's a pride thing?

    From a male ego perspective, I do feel better about myself, more manly if you will, when she can climax without electrical power. Most frequently, this is my tongue. My wife doesn't "direct" me what to do sexually, I sort of do what feels right based upon our energy level. If we are not tired, I will always start with cunnilingus. I am not a pro, but I feel an intense satisfaction when this works out. Once I start to please her, she is not shy at all in telling me if I am not doing it right.

    As we have been moving more towards an FLR, penetrative intercourse has decreased significantly. I don't think that's a coincidence. I don't think she likes the mess. I do get a fair amount of orgasms, but usually they are hand jobs now. One month this year (yes, I keep track of such things), I think I ejaculated once inside her. Your idea of punishing me for a 'ruined orgasm' is pretty hot. My wife is pretty in to ball torture but it is really for her amusement as opposed to a true punishment.

    lock4ever:
    I thought Kegels were all hype. YOu have intriged me. Perhaps I will give that a try...
     
  5. michelleCD
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    michelleCD Member

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    Your post has revived many fond memories of long nights spent arousing and bringing to orgasm various partners.
    One of my most enjoyable activities.
    thank you.
    Check out these little items, they may be useful on 2 fronts, stimulating your partner more effectively while having a desensitising effect on you.
    cheers and enjoy
    michelleCD :butterfly:
     
  6. cbtok
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    cbtok Senior Member

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    There may be times of the month where She just can't come. i had one partner who had that problem. And during those times, i came to expect more non-sexual play.

    Little things like caffeine intake, hunger for chocolate, interest in sleeping more or going to the gym more should be factors we monitor and try to anticipate. That's all a part of a FLR.

    Sometimes, by keeping a diary on a moon phase calendar can help.
     
  7. jaimelynn
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    jaimelynn Senior Member

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    The only thing about those is they don't fit over the CB6000s, So mistress straps a 12 incher over my CB and ties me to the bed blindfolded and gagged then goes for a ride, until She wants a tongue bath then ungags me still tied to the bed. Then if i don't satisfy Her, She'll flip me over tie me on all fours then use the 12 incher on me.
     
  8. michelleCD
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    michelleCD Member

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    Ohhhhh .... decisions decisions !!!!
    Will I satisfy her or won't I ????
    Will I, won't I ???
    Enjoy...either way
    cheers
    michelleCD :butterfly:
     
  9. Jimi123
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    Jimi123 Senior Member

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    I think it can become counter productive to go with Dildos that are too long. As my wife has told me having her cervix bashed black and blue is not sexy. Girth seems to be much more important and the texture is also very important. Hard plastic types of dildos don't satisfy. Silicone is expensive but it seems the best. BTW did you know you can pop them in the microwave for a (very) short time to warm them up?

    One thing no one has mentioned is to combine oral sex with a good dildo fucking. I'm told this combination is one of her favorite ways to climax.

    I know I'm a broken record with this but I think if you do use a strapon for intercourse it will give you a chance to learn better how to do it right. If your every allowed to of course!
     
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