Wifely disinterested rutheless enthusiasm around "permanent" chastity?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Giles_English, Apr 5, 2021.

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  1. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    A thread kicked off by @Permenently Caged got me thinking, especially this part (my edits):

    "You ready, I have work, let's go..." Direct and to the point. This was going to be an..."You asked for this and I am going to do it...now move...I have other things to do..." type event...She says to me while holding the glue, and I quote, "What am I doing?"
    [At his instructions].....She placed glue on each post and I inserted the female end of the ..then I inserted the PA Piercing part into the posts.
    Next I told her to place glue into the opposite end of the tube, middle section. So she sticks the tube into the "Tube" and squeezes hard..."WHOA I say, not so much!"
    " Oh Relax" and proceeds to fill the interlocking chastity tube till glue is dripping out....​

    I told this story to Xena and she just gave a thumbs up.

    My recent experience entering mechanically permanent chastity had a similar vibe.

    When I told Xena the device was on its way, she said, "You can put it on at for New Year and do a year." She was clear that she wanted me to install it. She later helped me pick concealing swimwear for our beach holiday, and she also remarked that if I had any chafing etc (which I don't) she would expect me to sort it out without unsealing. When prompted, she usually says something like. "I just like you locked. I'll release you if that changes."

    However, she had no desire to make a ritual out of the "permanent" sealing itself and shows no interest in the passage of time; last time I was sealed, I asked her how long she thought it had been and she looked vague and said, "I don't know - a year?" (Actually it had been 6 months.)

    It's that weird combination of disinterest and ruthless enthusiasm that's fascinating!

    On the one hand, she's not that interested in the business of chastity. On the other hand she really prefers me chaste. When the technology came along for 24/7/?? chastity, she was really very casual about pulling the trigger.

    It feels as if to her, my chastity is a necessary but uninteresting precondition for our sexual relationship, the way most husbands probably feel about their wife's coil/IUD: all for it, but really that interested in the thing itself.

    Has anybody else experienced similar?
     
  2. madams-sissysub
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    My madam can me just like this, there are times she is ( as you excellently put ) disinterested and ruthlessly enthusiastic at the same time! Madam will have no interest in engaging with me about chastity, or any other fetish talk, but she is insistent that I am locked at all times!! It is a real mind bender!
     
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  3. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    :)
    I have a tentative explanation. However, I want to see what other people's experiences are.
     
  4. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    Women are very talented and making us wonder what they are thinking. We try to dissect what we think they are thinking and that’s probably half the fun for them lol :)
     
  5. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active member

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    In times of "disinterest" I lose all interest as well. When crap stops getting done she always asks "whats wrong". Luckily we don't do the chastity thing except for "play" because I would be cutting off locks. Always told her that marriage isn't a 50/50 deal but a 100/100. Something to remember when she can't be bothered.
     
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  6. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I didn't mean disinterest in sexual activity, just a disinterest in the business of chastity. Like she would be quite happy just to send you off to get something installed, if that were possible.
     
  7. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Okay, I get what you're saying.

    Mrs Edge has come to discover that she really has a fetish for keeping me locked . When we are having sex, she enjoys talking about it in the moment. But afterwards? Doesn't care. Yes, if there were a way to send me to a clinic to have something installed, she'd probably be somewhat interested, but only in the end result, and not in how it actually works.
     
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  8. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Ah but afterwards, does she still need you locked?
     
  9. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Yes, even though she doesn't have much interest in the mechanism of it. The other day I asked to remove the cage for some road cycling. After I got home and changed, she did check to make sure I had relocked.
     
  10. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    Exactly our situation. She has no real interest in the "mechanics" of how I'm locked, just that I'm locked. Every so often, she'll ask me to come to her. When I do she puts her hand on my pants to feel the cage. "Just making sure," (or something like that) will be her response.
     
  11. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    How long does she keep you locked?
     
  12. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 4/9

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    Giles,

    You describe my wife rather well. She is almost utterly DISINTERESTED in the mechanics of chastity. Doesn't find the devices either attractive or silly, won't bother supervising cleanings, shavings, etc. When I give her the key she simply sets it on her dresser.

    Yet, she LOVES the man I am when deep in the throes of a long chastity stint.

    She wants me chaste. She just don't care about how that is attained.
     
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  13. Rkve1
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    Rkve1 Locked and OrgasmFree since 1-16-2020

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    I've been locked continuously now since Jan 2020 (14 months). My wife has they keys hidden away somewhere. You'd think she was really interested in this right? Well... who really knows? In general its clear she is doing this because I'm so into it and she definitely presents a level of disinterest. Is it real disinterest? Maybe she's just doing this because its for me . Maybe it too strange for her still to pretend to be "dominant" in this but she really likes it so feigning disinterest while never offering to unlock me lets her have her cake and eat it too.

    Things she has said over the past year:

    I forget your locked in that thing. (Said after I've gone down on her)

    I feel like the guy doing this and having an orgasm when you can't..

    I feel selfish doing this (I encourage here its fine and its what I want)

    I sometimes think about getting the key, but after I orgasm I just want to relax.

    Oh I forgot to bring the keys! (when we went away for a long weekend after I was locked for 9 months)

    I forgot for a few months where I put the keys and was worried until I found them the other day.

    I think I should let you out of that soon (she's said this at least every three months but never acts on it)
    __________

    What I know is that for me the chastity is real. I'm locked through a PA piercing. She has the keys. I cant be released until she chooses to release me. I know she is at least doing this because she loves me. I know that she enjoys the frequent encounters we have that lead to her orgasms and my continued (sweet) frustration. So while I can hope her disinterest is feigned, I know I love her and she me, regardless.

    FInally, in the end, I really don't want to know if her disinterest is actually real. I like to imagine it isn't and that she is getting more enjoyment out of this than what she's comfortable admitting to. but in the sense of "If its not broken, don't fix it", I don't press the question and consider myself very lucky either way.
     
  14. gary170
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    gary170 Active member

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    My wife is much the same she loves me locked and loved enforcing it but other than that she forgets about It ,in her defense she is going through that time of life so things are changing for her at present .it is amazing how strict she
    Is ...super strict. More than she has ever been surprising when it seems she is not interested she keeps talkikg in years rather than months which is a abit worrying lol
    Love her to bits
     
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  15. Clearstatic
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    Clearstatic Any reception yet?

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    I have two opposite key holders. Mrs. T, my wife is as you describe. The mechanics are of no concern. Are you, or aren't you? She doesn't care what the cage looks like, how it locks, how much, custom, knock off, whatever.

    Mrs. J who holds my key a out 40 percent of the time seems to enjoy the mechanics and the rituals. Lots of questions on the how's and why's.

    We have talked about a dual key set up, as my device has two security screws. We could use two different screws with two different keys and the only way to be unlocked is if both ladies are present and willing. Mrs. J finds this fascinating, Mrs. T doesn't particularly care either way.

    I shared a picture recently that was both a turn on and scary. Riveting chastity!
     

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  16. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    Well, I haven't had an orgasm since 11/19. I am locked 24/7, but I am allowed to remove my cage once a week for a few minutes at a time for thorough cleaning and inspection.
     
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  17. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    All this fits with a theory of mine.

    A book called Come as You Are (by a sex educator and scholar) makes the distinction between Brakes - things that get in the way of arousal - and Accelerators - things that actively promote arousal, aka turn ons.

    A Brake could be as simple as "Worrying about contraception" or as mundane as "Worrying about being overheard" or "Worrying about the bills".

    The point about Brakes is that resolving them is not of itself interesting or arousing. "I paid the bills, upgraded the soundproofing and have reliable condoms to hand" isn't going to get her hot and wet, but may be required before the actual turn ons - the Accelerators - work. Similarly, "extra money in the bank, perfect sound proofing, and even more condoms in the bedside drawer" isn't going to get her more turned on, because the Brakes are already gone.

    You can see where I'm going with this. For many of our partners, chastity is about a precondition. It removes the brakes. You can't ethically/legally get more chaste than "reliably chaste", so that's as far as their interest goes.

    They are cryptic about it for lots of reasons. Most people are less analytical about sex than we are and if something feels OK, then they probably don't feel the need to dissect it. We've probably previously crowded them in this area, so not talking about it is a way of keeping ownership. And, finally, the reasons they like us chaste are either too difficult to articulate - outside our cultural lexicon - or too transgressive to want to say aloud.

    How can we tell they're into it? Well firstly because they say they are. It's complicated for us, so we somehow are uncomfortable with an answer as simple as "Cool. OK." However, that's still an answer. In addition, Gloria Brame - another sex educator - says people tolerate the weird in relationships for about two years, then flip back. She cites stories about people enjoying their partner's shoe fetish, getting obviously turned on by it, then - abruptly - selling all the sexy shoes and demanding a "normal life". Well I don't know about you, but we've been doing this seriously 8 years, and for fun for much longer. I think if she wasn't into it, my really very dominant wife would have called a halt by now. Also, she wouldn't have said, "I prefer you this way."
     
  18. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    I can buy all of that. My wife/KH is clearly not as "into it" as I am regarding chastity, but just as clearly, she has gone from grudging acceptance to appreciation if not preference for it. She went out of town for a few days, and reminded me before she left where the emergency key was, but not to use it without letting her know. And she sends me a text message every morning with a "Lock" emoji. She prefers me this way.
     
  19. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Would I be right in saying that the Ruthless Lockers don't do edging and spoiled orgasms?
     
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  20. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    I'm revisiting what I think are the essentials of your question/observation. And again, I agree. Mrs Edge likes me to tell her how long it's been *when we're having sex*, but out side of that, she doesn't show much interest at all. When I've asked her, she just says something like "It's going to be for the rest of our life, so why would I need to track anything?"

    She says that she does think about my having been locked for so long once in a while during the week, but she rarely mentions it. The only time she really talks about it is when we are having one of our "dates", during which the concept seems to be very arousing for her.

    Mrs Edge doesn't unlock me for teasing, etc. It's just not her "thing." She does enjoy making me have a ruined or sometimes a full orgasm in the cage, but it's random, and based only on how she is feeling in the moment. It might be two weeks in a row, it might be two months.
     
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  21. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Likewise. It's like a rubber wrist band. Most of the time she just wants to know it's there. Sometimes she likes to twang it.
     
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  22. cumslave_2002
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    cumslave_2002 Ms. Shauna's Hubby

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    My Wife/Mistress is of the option that permanent chastity is a way of life for me now, and doesn’t bother teasing very often either. It only makes me beg and whine for relief and that’s not what she’s interested in on a regular basis. If she’s in the mood to tease and frustrate me she will do it during a session. Otherwise we agreed to the terms and it is something I have to learn to live with. It feels like being neglected at times, but life has to go on. I think in most committed FLR it’s about her needs and wants. I know she knows how frustrated and horny I’m at times, and I’m sure she relinquishes in it. But doesn’t have to say anything about it daily.
     
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  23. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    I think every person and every couple is different, particularly regarding sexuality. My wife/kh DOES enjoy teasing me, making me try to get hard in my cage, etc. But-no orgasms, period. Not even spoiled. She will stop long before I'm ready to cum, to the point of putting an ice bag on my cage and balls. (which works very well, BTW)
     
  24. kirishima
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    kirishima New member

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    My wife wants me chaste
    She does not care how the cage works or looks
    The mechanics do not interest her at all

    As long as I can't cum

    That's all she cares about

    She delights in the fact that she controls my sex life
     
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  25. Cageboi
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    Cageboi Member

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    Out of interest what would your wife say if you said I'm done with chastity, lets go back to vanilla? Would they be disinterested?
     
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