Wife wants a sexless marriage and turning me into asexual slave !!

If you read his post, you will note that he explicitly states that he essentially no longer HAS sexual needs.

 

Sexless marriages happen more than most people think. I am in one now. We started out with a normal sex life, with me being into slight kink. After 13 yes image angthe doctors repeatedly say she d never be able to have kids we suddenly had one. It was rough on her body, and she already had lupus and fibromyalgia. Now her hormones are a mess as well. Doctors don’t dare put her on anything that might help her libido for fear it will esp the other medications.

I am locked in chastity by my own doing. She has no interest in any contact. We last had sex in 2017. It is hell for me, but it isn’t like she is willfully denying me just to be mean or to get her jollies.

There are a lot of different dynamics in marriages. Use because the OP is in one that would not work for you doesn’t make it a lie.

 

You need to do what's right for yourself.
If you did not want to live like this then you would have said no to her coming back.

 

Sorry for the late response.

I live in a sexless marriage, and have done since before we were wed. As in, we had a fair amount of sex, but only if she started it. My soon-to-be wife was very clear that she had zero kink and no interest in experimentation.

Anyway, one day she initiated and I said no. There was a months long argument about how I wasn't a real man for saying no that eventually culminated in sex to start again, which resulted in a pregnancy. No sex, I slept on the sofa at her direction, for the next two and a bit years. In the middle of this, we got married.

She wanted a second child, so did I, and so we had sex five times over three days and she was pregnaont once more. Once again I was relegated to the sofa. This time it was just shy of four years without sex. We started again, did it three times.

Then we moved house and she withdrew again. After a year we had one more go, then another year break. We tried again, she got a UTI, so another break. We managed once a month for six months, then another break for six months. We try again, we manage eight times in six months and she is pregnant for a third time. Once again I hit the sofa.

I get invited back to our bed again after eighteen months, but still no sex. It's been thirty-one months now and we skirted close to divorce.

She also says she loves me, but not like that. She says she has no interest in sex and lacks the emotional energy to find anyone else.

For reference, I'm a crossdresser, something I told her when we met but she ignored until four years later when she was outraged to find I still did it in private. We sort of got past that but she still hates it and wishes I wouldn't. She hates that I masturbates but acknowledges that I don't really have another option. We found out in December 2017 that I have ASD and that has caused further strain. She has accepted that there are thus things she hates about me that she can't change.

She also tells me that most ASD men lie habitually, don't want or understand sex and physical intimacy and said we should just enjoy one another's company.

This is the context of me buying a chastity device last year (HT V2) and using it properly for the first time on 6 February. The Emlalock session and subsequent adoption of it by someone online has been something of a bright spot - I can actually enjoy not having sex, if that makes sense.

All of which is to say that the OP may be truthful, that I understand his predicament, before I tell him: leave your wife and find a better partner!

 

ASD, I googled it and it’s autism spectrum disorder...all men with it lie and don’t want or understand sex and intimacy? She sounds nuts!

 

To be fair, she has worked as an Autism Support Worker (her job when we met) and has joined a group for partners of ASD people, it seems a pretty common trope actually. Apparently men with ASD who have affairs are common. So, they lie. As the common misunderstanding is that ASD people can't lie, the fact that we can makes people worry, ergo...

Equally, there was the whole thing where she told me not to tell her about anything cross-dressing related, so I didn't. Even when questioned directly. And she knows I was lying then and that makes her feel that she can't spot when I DO lie. Which is fair. So, as she knows I still cross-dress on occasion (incredibly rarely though) she knows I lie sometimes - I could lie habitually and she would never know.

And yes, the other big thing is that men with ASD in relationships most commonly want sex and intimacy significantly less than their partners. There is loads of literature for ASD men to encourage them to have more sex and understand the importance of physical intimacy for their partners as well as loads for partners of men with ASD to cope with too little sex or physical intimacy. I have yet to find anything substantial for the opposite way round, so although she sounds crazy, she isn't. She's done the research and come to perfectly valid, if utterly wrong in my case, conclusions.

 

I’m not sure I believe you, you a man with asd, are a habitual liar lol. Just saying it’s pretty closed minded to lump everyone in to a behavior.

 

Oh no, I agree. Just very normal for people to do so in my limited experience. Also, yes, LOL!

 

I cant contribute anything meaningful that hasnt already been said, however, I will say that she 100% doesnt give a shit about you, period. If you stay with her you will be lonely and miserable until you realize that you've wasted your entire life waiting on a whore.

Dont be a chump. Grow a fucking pair and send her packing back to the frat house she can be found at every Friday night...

 

I just dont get any sense from reading your side of things that she cares about you at all. And she doesn't seem like a very nice person. Honestly I'm angry and disgusted for you.
I would have left a long time ago.
I am not condemning a choice to be a sexless slave if you want. But everyone deserves to be loved and I don't see you getting your needs met here. This sounds like no relationship at all.

 

An interesting thread.
I wonder why some of you are so sure the initial message is fake or fantasy. if a situation does not fit in or match with your conceptual framework, it still can be real, it can work for others, it may be heaven.
I wonder why @truecuckold is so confused about his situation, about the fact his Wife/Mistress prefers a non-sexual relationship with him, his cuckold-slave. She can have sex with other men, whenever She wants. He, being Her cuckold-slave, should support that.

 

But as truecuckold said:

Clearly truecuckold no longer wants to accept the conditions anymore due to the harsh reality.

I think his wife may still love him even if she does not want sex with him. it's a difficult one.

 

My situation is very similar. We love each other but my penis hasn't been in her for 5 years. I self lock so i just don't masturbate my life away. Chastity and hand sex because i won't cheat on her.

 

I think lots of marriages come into situations where attraction is lost, and the guy feels rejected one way or another, and then eroticize the rejection.....but I doubt wives get an erotic charge out of pulling away from or rejecting the husband.....if the wife has no sex drive, then consider all of the physical, mental, emotional explanations.....if the wife has a sex drive, consider all the reasons why she doesn't want to have sex with YOU.

 

I'm new to Chastity myself, as is my keyholder! All fun and games until it becomes real! Tonight we had a little squabble about something and she just added week to my sentence! It's still very erotic to me to have her hold my keys and I really love to serve her! But we crossed over the line and I had no safe word! Somehow when she's angry it's no fun being locked and not sexy anymore! Oh well this is a s*** I signed up for I guess

 

I think you should agree to all her terms and accept your role in life as nothing more than her little bitch. Stop ruminating about what is common or normal. Who is normal anymore?

So what if she doesn't care much about you or is being selfish. She is a woman who appears to own you. Let her rule, even if it forces you to be sexless and cheated on. Too bad for you but good for her.

My advice is not the same as others, but I think women should get greater deference on their control of men.

 

Certainly none of us can know for sure, but this (and the OP's other threads on the same subject) just don't ring true. The OP sets himself up as a patsy by saying how this wife has left him multiple times but comes back, then declares her love for him while setting up these bizarre rules. And he just accepts it, seemingly without question. Then he calmly asks for our advice. These are all things that scream "I'm making this all up and enjoy reading about all of you discussing it!"

Add to that the fact that many posts on this site often revolve around clearly made-up scenarios passed off as "real" and it makes the BS detector a mite twitchy. It doesn't help that many people seem to want the nonsense they read to be real so they're willing to believe almost anything. I think it's a mistake to assume that a post that feeds into your own fantasies must therefore be true.

 

You make a good point that makes me want to make a second point.

I think it is good for any forum, from kink to gardening to aviation, to embrace a healthy skepticism. We should be cautious of fakery. The pre-social media internet had lots of great forums and tons of skeptics, too. But anymore skeptics get lumped in with trolls, and I don't think they should be.

If someone wants true stories, they could invite longtime members to share their experiences.

Here is one: I have to ask my wife every night whether I can sleep in her bed. When she says yes, sometimes she won't let me touch her. (King mattress.) Often it is based on whether I obeyed her commands well enough. Otherwise, I sleep on the floor. It sucks being on the floor. This more than chastity makes me obey anymore.

 

People post for all kinds of reasons. Sometimes it to express a fantasy. Sometimes the stuff that is true is embellished, or the POV of kinkster writing it is a lot different than the other person in the relationship. My wife knows I eroticize a lot of everyday things that are otherwise mundane. Sometimes she is game and plays along, but her experience is probably a lot different than mine. Other times we are more adventurous.

True story: my wife and another woman gave me a HJ while verbally humiliating me. From my perspective, it wasn't even a "ruined orgasm" because I was so pent up I started to ooze out and spurt with no mental or emotional high. I expect the physical sensation to end with a ruined orgasm, but I expect a mental rush. And they acted pissed that I had a "premature emission". How could it be premature after a 2 hour play session? I hit the other woman in the leg, and she acted pissed and she rubbed it in my face. I felt spent and humiliated. My wife claims this counted as a "threesome". I don't see how it possibly costs as that.

 

I have nothing against expressing a fantasy; but I do have a problem when people try to pass it off as a real experience. This site has a fiction section if you want to talk about how your wife had sex on your dining-room table with your boss while he live-streamed the whole thing to the board of directors as you sat there tied up in a chicken suit.

But don't tell me this actually happened to you last Thursday and what does everyone think about it?

 

I hear you, but it’s a minor annoyance to me, and we all have our own BS-meters. I tend to ignore the stuff that’s written as fiction, and it’s not that hard to sniff out. My biggest gripe about fiction passes off as reality is it is usually not written well or is interesting. It’s usually the same cliches you’ve seen a million times.

If someone is able to write something really well and creative, and seems authentic, I’m will turn off my BS-meter for a moment. I always doubt anything I read on the internet anyway. I’ll never be able to verify the stuff that seems authentic, and the stuff that is seems inauthentic is easy to ignore.

 

I don't think that's an unrealistic point of view at all; certainly we all have to judge what we read for ourselves. When you say 'My biggest gripe about fiction passes off as reality is it is usually not written well or is interesting. It’s usually the same cliches you’ve seen a million times', I think it describes the original post in this thread to a 'T'.

But whether you believe a story or not, I think it's important to not be afraid to call it the way you see it. If we don't express skepticism at times, it can have at least two unwanted effects;

1) It will encourage more nonsense, which ultimately dilutes what this site and others stand for - a place where people can openly share their real experiences.

2) It sets up unrealistic ideas that can discourage or turn off people who might otherwise enjoy what this lifestyle (or others) can offer. Many of us can recall when this site was overrun with fake females, or militant crossdressers/sissies who made it seem like chastity was part and parcel of their lifestyle. Even now I can see hints that the idea of chastity without submission is starting to gain a foothold here; a year or two ago the idea was almost unthinkable. How real people do chastity and denial is ultimately more important than feeding someone's fantasy by post after post of like-minded horny guys nodding their heads up and down in unison, while newbies run for the hills in horror.

So I think it's important that one can stand up and say, "I think this is nonsense". As noted, we can't verify most of it anyway, but saying nothing is a tacit way of agreeing, which I feel is wrong.

 

Yeah.

 

Anyone/ truecuckold still monitoring this thread? I am wondering how things turned out?
My marriage has become sexless and have stayed together for other life reasons. I am interested in how others have handled it and how it turned out?