Wife very serious about a FLR.

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by vinnyD, Jun 13, 2024.

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  1. vinnyD
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    vinnyD Active member

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    I am a little nervous about how serious my wife has become about chastity and starting a FLR. I think it was due to me telling her I am OK that she is not into guys sexually anymore and that I was very serious about having sex her way. Also told her not to give me orgasms because she feels sorry for me.

    The above led to her no longer worrying about what I want and being honest. We have not slept together or had any form of penetration with any of my body parts. For the last 35 or so years, so long ago no one remembers, it was that way. However she learned that her best friend is gay but in our day, If you came out your life was not going to be good. In fact, not even the LGBT community accepted bisexuality as real. To them my wife was a lesbian in the closet.

    We were a poly triad. My wife enjoyed making me orgasm in the various ways but over time she started only thinking about women when she masturbated. Even tried a wife swap as she was curious but never got close to an orgasm with the other guy, her card playing partner for 3 years. That is the night she saw d she was done with all men but me. Both men and women found found me attractive and both my ex Fiancé and former live in girlfriend are bi. My ex Fiancé is married to woman and my ex girlfriend just wanted my baby but no man in her life. I guess I appealed to a certain type of female.

    The problem was that as I matured I lost the feminine part of my looks. I noticed that married women were attracted to me as well as single women. In any event my wife loves me more than any woman but not so much my man parts. Now in our 70’s I think she is asexual since she only enjoys her vibrator. I asked her tonight if she was have no sex right now would it be with a male or female. She said neither. I told her whom would she pick if she had to and she said she guesses it would be a woman.

    You may be thinking why did I stay with her? The reason was that she insisted that all sex she had with girls would only be when I took part. Plus she was all for me having sex with her live in girlfriend without her. Why, well, her gf is a very dominant woman and loved to hurt me sexually. So a typical night, a few times a week for 30 years, I took part in threesomes followed by one on one with each.

    After the first few years of me getting the girls to do whatever I wanted or saw in porn that 3 people could do, things changed. They took control no longer trying to please me so that I would not spoil their fun with each other. They gradually turned me into a sexual submissive hooked on pain and denial. The rest is a long story involving most fetishes people read about or see in porn.

    I was an author among other things in my interesting life so I tend to write too much thinking that the reader needs some background info. However, to some, they think I am a fantasy writer but I have not given you the juicy stuff we did in our lives. I was a non fiction writer. Wrote about international trade. In any event I am old enough to not care what others think having led my life on my terms and non traditionally.

    Just understand that for half of my active sexual life I did it all but was a chastity sub for the second half. I am fine with my wife controlling my orgasms but until now, she only did it to please me and maintain the dynamic that I had with her girlfriend. This year she got more into controlling and denying me orgasms. After letting her know it is OK if she is not into sex with me or any guy anymore, she said she preferred that I do not touch her during sex as it interfered with her vibrator fun. Kissing was OK it that was it.

    She even got stricter with denying me orgasms without guilt. No longer does she care how desperate I am for an orgasm while in that past, if I pleaded she would allow me to jerk off while she did the same. No more as she is finally enjoying her control over me. Now I know many of you do chastity with strap ons and are allowed to perform oral and basically have sex except for your full orgasm. Not us.

    For us it was mutual masturbation but I was allowed to touch her pussy and breasts. No more. In the past it was basically lock me and forget me. Now she really amped up the cock teasing. Will leave it to your imagination. She is so into it now that the subject of a FLR came up. The problem was that I am very alpha. The type that always has to be the top dog in school, sports, and in my career while my wife is very submissive naturally. She met me when I got back from Vietnam and we were engaged in three weeks. She said she loved that I was very alpha like her dad. Made her feel safe being with me. So reversing roles completely would not work for us as we later learned.

    We are basically moving into a FLR in stages and it will not be calling her mistress. She will simply assign household chores to me and if not done well she adds a month to my orgasm denial date in her mind. Soi if she was thinking to let me orgasm on July 4th, it would now be August 4th. Plus a paddling. She got over her fear of hurting me last year and now has a nice collection of impact toys. However, her favorite place to hurt me is my bells? Why? Because she married me to have kids and I am sterile. Even her girlfriend tortured my balls saying things about how they deserve it since I could not give my wife the one thing she wanted most in life. In short, it became their justification for rough CBT.

    My wife never complained and loved me no matter what. She hid her real feelings for a very long time to avoid hurting my feelings. There is real strong love between us, just that she is no longer into guys. I will try to wrap this up. Today a lot of boxes from Amazon arrived. I asked her why so many. Told me to leave the room until she called me. When she called me I saw a bunch of female stuff. She bought me what she said was a Sundress for when I vacuumed the floors. There was a very nice vintage frilly apron like I saw in old movies or TV shows. That is for when I dust and polish. Also very prominent were six pair of sexy Satin and lace panties. About 10 years ago she was into dressing e like a girl. Even wore a bra when I went out. However, it did not phase me as I have no desire to be feminine. My lack of reaction eventually led to her giving up on that idea. Now she wants to limit it to just when I do chores.

    Then I saw two rolls of that self sticking tape they use for bondage and said from now on she will tape my wrists to my legs as she really finds it distracting when I touch her. As she explained it, she is not arouses y my touches but occasionally kissing was OK. Hey, I gave up on defining her sexuality a long time ago. She says the hands locking is more to prevent me from playing with myself because she now wants me unlocked for sex. She has really gotten into penis and ball torture as in the past she was worried about doing permanent harm. Now she punches my balls and squeezes them hard. She cums quickly when I moan in pain. Last two times she got into scratching my penis so that it was sore for a week with red marks all over it. Her desire to do this stems back to my sterility and a form of punishment. She even let her Neil’s grow longer and fikes them to be sharp.

    So far she has not done anything except tell me we may have sex next week on my birthday or tomorrow which is today as I write this. She has not made up her mind yet. Just wait and see. My problem is going from a nice life with plenty of time for my hobbies to wearing Female attire makes me nervous. Being submissive during sex is easy for me as I like rough sex. Doing housework while dressed in female cloths does not cater to anything I would enjoy. So how do I make this work. I am A OK waiting months for an orgasm as I got older and limp. I can hardly orgasm when I jerk off takes almost an hour and the results range from ejaculating with no pleasure to a moment of pleasure and rarely a full orgasm. Since withholding orgasms has little effect on me, pain administration is her main punishment.

    So the problem is that I know she really wants it. I think it fair that I do some of the housework since we both are old with medical issues but she does it all. Not keen on wearing female stuff but no one will see but her so I can easily deal with doing it for her. Doing the housework to earn a try at an orgasm and also to even have sex with her, as restricted as it is, depends on doing as she wishes.

    I am not used to feeling uncertain about sex fetish stuff. Heck I was the toilet for my wife and her gf for six months a long time ago before porn even showed it. My question, assuming you read this far, is are most of you in a FLR into it? Do you do feminization and if so, do you enjoy it or just do as told? I just feel silly about play outside of the bedroom and without getting some form of sex with my wife. That reminds me. Her parting words before she went to bed was that she wanted me hooded when we next had sex. Said it makes her less self conscious of her naked old body. Basically she wants me there just to moan in pain so she can orgasm hard.

    Although I agreed to try for six months, I just do not see how I will feel anything but uncomfortable and not leading to sex. I do owe her. She always found girls to join us in bed using me as bait. If they brushed off her advances she was fine with just watching me with the other girl. I was in over 4,000 threesomes in 51 years. She let me be a sub to her gf one on one. Plus she had a don’t ask, don’t tell policy and I spent a lot of time on business trips. That is a whole different story.

    just thought writing would calm me down as I am in uncharted waters. One thing to be submissive during sex and quite different when sex is not a factor.
     
    starflyer likes this.
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