Wife turned off by chastity cages

Perhaps she wants you to be the boss in the bedroom?

 

You are hysterical! I’ve been in a relationship for over 40 years. I think I’m pretty familiar with what it takes for BOTH of us to be happy and mentally healthy.

 

These are easy… but mostly because my wife isn’t that sexually driven in fantasy ways:

Like I said, she’s tame. She doesn’t want typical sex more than we do now. No cuckolding, 3-somes etc. although, at times she’s mentioned it so it goes through her mind.
Her favourite sexual aspects;
Hearing me moan. Mostly softly in her ear when I’m really enjoying a sensation.
She loves me to cum. It’s a simple one. She’s really enjoying denial as it makes it easier and happens in different ways. She’s found a new favourite (but we don’t need to discuss that!)
Her pleasure through sex is giving me pleasure, she wants it way less than me and therefore this dynamic works so well.
If she could choose anything out side of the realms of possibility it would be to have sex with me with a real penis, she’d love to know how that felt.
Her perfect man could be described as the complete opposite to me, she finds women more attractive than men… that’s not to mean sexually, but she’s more appreciative of them. She won’t really discuss it but I think that would be a fantasy of hers. If she didn’t hate vagina.
I could list 100 turn offs for her.

She leans much closer to our own space where she’s comfortable. Anywhere outside of the bedroom would have to be private.
She likes taking my cock in her mouth whilst I’m driving in the dark. (Not so much these days, stupid cage!)
She likes hot tubs at the spa (if she’s aware no one else is around)
No where that she would have to be naked in public.

Her favourite with me:
A quickie when we got together to watch game of thrones. It was in our early days but she orgasmed whilst bent over the sofa and thanked me for it.
That might sound ridiculous but it was her first orgasm in 7 years with a partner. She can’t relax and enjoy herself unless she’s with someone who makes her feel comfortable. In an environment that’s suitable.
She does not discuss encounters with others, she doesn’t want to know mine as she doesn’t want that competition aspect, to consider someone else might have done things better. She doesn’t need to worry, she’s so intuitive and understanding that she’s the best anyway.

Oh, any crime thriller. She read 50 shades and thought it poor for story line. Sexual Literature is not her thing.

Absolutely has no interest in erotic films. Someone being sliced in half or pushed in a meat grinder would be her preference… but it also can’t be obvious, there has to be some intrigue to it.

Romance? She does not do romance…
I didn’t have chance to propose to her as she booked our wedding before I even knew (long story) and then we backed out anyway as being that intimate in public was not our thing.
As a symbolic gesture I found the perfect romantic gesture for her… I hid the ring in her favourite chewy bar and wrote ‘will you marry me inside’. Now that’s love!

 

I was away for a while but literary just posted about this.

Chastity and SPH play ruined my past relationship. Now it wasn't the only thing that contributed to the relationship going south but the chastity play and SPH roleplaying over time turned her off.

Post break up she revealed that she hated the chastity play, and eventually started to dislike my dick for all the SPH play.

After taking the red pill (mentally speaking) women want a dominant strong alpha male to lead and protect them. Chastity play can be used occasionally for a kink but mark my words...if your wife is telling you this, you got to shelve it.

Your relationship is not worth it over locking your dick up lol. Doesn't mean she won't be into it again down the road but for now be that confident male that she wants!

 

Oh really? So explain how "chastity play" focuses 100% on your wife.

 

You two are what I would consider sexually incompatible. Is there more to a relationship than sex? Yes, and as you grow older it may become a nonstarter.

As it is right now, you two will have to focus on the other parts of your relationship worth saving instead of sexual pleasure. You like one thing, she likes the opposite. To make matters even more complicated, a third party entered your relationship, making it even more difficult to think of you in any other light.

Discuss with her the pros and cons of saving the relationship, what needs to happen, and if the incompatibility is too much of an issue, ending the relationship might be preferable for both of you.

 

I am not sure what you mean in the context of what I said...

 

Then you may have already reaped all the rewards that chastity has to offer you, so it may not matter if you keep wearing the cage. I guess it's now up to you whether you want to continue with orgasm denial for yourself, after all, just because you're unlocked doesn't mean you have to start masturbating again.

 

I basically am doing just that. I edge myself just about daily but save the O's for when we are together- so roughly weekly at this point. And I still ask permission when the time "comes", she hasn't said no yet

 

Sorry, NowIveDoneIt, I was seeking a clarification on what you called “play the game”, especially the ‘game’ part, that was a real turn off to your wife, but it looks like you’ve answered your own question.

 

Chastity game. Almost everyone here calls it a kink or game. Every single person agrees they could cancel it at any time, probably with repercussions. The "game" wasn't a turn-off, having my cock in a cage was. She didn't like seeing it, she likes seeing me free and always liked my size and appearance and hated the metal. So off it went. My only question was what is best for my marriage and shelving this for now became a necessity. Thankfully our sex life together is exploding so the trip I made through this has been worth it and I still practice without a cage...

 

@NowIveDoneIt even if you're no longer wearing the uniform, you're still our brother.

 

Thanks. Consider me sidelined for now, injured reserve. But the last week has been so astronomical I can't even believe my memories. I feel like my wife's enjoyment in the moment is growing exponentially. And she is getting more and more confident and in charge in the bedroom, so who knows what is next...

 

My biggest recommendation would be to get a cage that you can clean yourself in without unlocking. Most open plan metal cages would work for this. Then you literally don't need to be unlocked until she's ready, no more unlocks every day for cleaning.

 

Exactly 2 months from it being a total turn-off for her - to her taking total control. What do you think caused this big change in her?

 

Funny how differently we can see the same things. I view it as keeping a leash on an alpha, or a monster in a cage.

 

I won’t see. This is the extent of my interest. But I do hope you’ll stay on track. This seems like shaky ground on which to build an entirely new persona, though.

 

I guess I spoke too soon. You do know how to talk to a lady, don’t you? But you think holding an industrial sized vibrator is the trick? Please tell me what else makes a woman happy. I may be out of the loop.