So my wife really isnt into it, and i havent been locked up for awhile, but am wondering what other peoples experiences are when your other doesnt really care for it but you go ahead and lock uo anyways. Really been wanting to be locked up again, but unsure how she would react so havent done so yet
If your wife isn't into it, wait. My lockups are not frequent. If my wife is in the mood I'll ask if she would like me to lock. You have to be able to "read the room".
You need to talk to her. Tell her what you want to do and why. Hopefully she'll understand and accept. If not, then I'm afraid that's that.
Patience and the ability to accept the other persons decision is vital, they may say no outright and you must accept that. sometimes they may soften their views over time sometimes not but having someone you love alongside you has to be the ultimate prize , the extras are just bonuses.
My wife hasn't took charge of her key in sometime it just sits on the headboard I will lock up for a few days and when I go to bed we sleep nude she smiles and will hold the cage or my balls She never says a word when I use her key or not if she wants sex and I am locked she will hand me her key. So not sure we're she is at with it
She's there, she's accepting, she's just not being as "aggressive" as you'd like. So we come back to the universal advice -- Go at her pace. Wear it all the time and she'll tell you when to take it off. Over time she may become direct in her desires, or not, but in the meantime feed her needs and your submission with service and an openness to the intimacy she desires.
If it's "her key" then you have to stop using it! If you use the key yourself then she'll be thinking it's "your device" and "your key", not hers. You think of it as "her key", but she obviously does not. If you want her to own the key, you must never use it yourself, and try to not even touch it yourself. I started by always asking her to click the lock shut and take the key. Then when she had the key, if I was ever to be unlocked I'd ask her to unlock me. Following on from then, I now never ask her. I've told her if I do ask to be unlocked she's not to unlock me, so that means (in my mind) that I'm never going to ask again unless there's a genuine medical need. If she leaves the key lying around, then it's not yours to touch, is it? Make it the norm that only she locks and unlocks you, only then will she get to believe that the key is "hers".
For most of us, this is a relationship and any good relationship involves understanding each other's needs and desires. It takes communication and if you don't have a good foundation on simple things in life, it will be very difficult to achieve the open and bare communication of deep feelings that are needed for the chastity thing to work, IMHO.
My wife isn't into it and only will play along because she wants to make me happy. I don't want her doing it because it makes me happy, I'd like for her to do it because it makes her happy. So that being said, I'm kind of frustrated and considering selling my Jailbird.
Unfortunately even the mere thought of eating certain vegetables or foods literally almost makes me vomit. Nothing will EVER change that so I don't even think about them. We must give up our selfish desires to maintain "peace and love" or destroy what we have in the end.
It took us a few times before my wife wanted to try it. May I suggest that you start off with just tease and denial. No chastity devices. Approach it like Tantric sex saying that you will have regular sex but ask her not to let yo haven an orgasm until next time because you want to see how much more intense it feels. Do that a few times and let her see how much more intense your orgasms really are. Then ask to go longer between orgasms and see how that goes. In the meantime make her feel like the most desirable woman in the world when she denies you. Finally you will reach a point where you want to ask to go even longer because you love the feeling of being horny for her all the time and that makes you want to please her more. At that time tell her that you do not think you can go without an orgasm on the honor system that long so ask about using a chastity cage to help you along. If you have given her enough positive reinforcement so that she sees the benefits to denying you, she should be agreeable to lock you up. I think too many guys show up in bed with a hunk of metal or plastic on their penises and expect their wives to accept chastity. My wife and I have been doing chastity for a long time but most of that time was on the honor system. We did not start using a device until my wife wanted me to go well beyond my self control limits. Good luck and don't give up, but also do not press her. If you do it a little at a time you will have better luck. Much like you do not hand your wife a whip and ask her to whip you raw. You start off with playful spankings and over the next few months work up to the whipping part. I have been very successful in getting my wife to try all fetishes I am interested in by this approach. Just beware that she may like locking you up as my wife does. That is my wife's preferred sexual arrangement with me. She has more powerful orgasms and no mess to clean up afterwards.
There are many of us in the same situation. My wife likes me dressed enfem and pantied (she threw out my male underwear sometime ago) but she can take or leave the cage, as she has said. I'd love for her to be more bossy, but that is not her nature. She is in charge, and likes it that way, but doesn't feel the need to keep me locked to be the Mistress. She does lock me once in a while, but not long term. Maybe some day that will change, but for now I'm happy just to be hers, locked or unlocked.
well,my experience is dont push her...let time flow...maybe she silently studying your hobby and you dont notice. locking up is always communication first, i did communication for 3 years and read many chastity blog and forum to make her(my wife) to be my keyholder