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Wife and i are looking for a Man

Discussion in 'The Boudoir' started by secretlife, Jun 16, 2017.

  1. Hello all,
    So, my Wife and i have been talking very seriously about bringing another Man into our bedroom. She wants to cuck me, and i would love watching her get fucked while i remain locked. However, we both have some serious questions/concerns that we were hoping some of you all could help us with.

    First of all, this is purely a sexual thing. She is not looking for another relationship, and neither am i. She loves me, and i Her and nothing is going to change that. Simply put, we're just looking to have some extra fun in the bedroom.

    Our concerns are... How does one go about finding a Man that's interested in something like this? I mean, sure there's craigslist, but safety is our number one priority. We're worried about meeting some random crazy on the internet, and i guess more worried about diseases. :( That's the LAST thing either of us want, and certainly not worth the risk for a little extra fun.

    Has anyone else seriously done the whole cuck scenario? How did you find that someone?
     
    bitstripped likes this.
  2. I had a live in girlfriend that used to go to clubs to find men but I never watched her until she had a gang bang with my three friends. That was when I kicked her out. What you think you would like to watch in absence of feelings in your fantasy other than arousal, may not happen in real life. Many a couple have caused serious marital problems doing what you want to do. Most of what you read on the internet is pure fiction to make guys jerk off to.

    Since my wife was a virgin when we married I thought she should try another guy just to see what it was like and to see how I would react. For us it was as easy as having her card playing partner have sex with her while his wife and I watched mostly. I did give her a quick orgasm orally but I did not want anything in return because I wanted to watch my wife. What I saw was my wife just laying there being pounded into the mattress for 15 minutes. He came and she did not. On the way home she said that she hated it and never wanted to have sex with another guy again. She ended up with bruises on her breasts because he was too rough with her. She still regrets doing it to this day 40 years later.

    A couple we knew invited a male friend that they both knew into their bed so the husband could watch and take part afterwards if he wanted to reclaim his wife. What he saw was nothing like he expected. It was not the mechanical sex he was used to seeing or reading about. He saw his wife enjoy sex much better than with him. He said she eventually forgot he was in the room and she was passionate and letting the guy do things to her that he was not allowed to do. His wife violated the rules they had established and afterwards they had a fight about her behavior. Long story short, she ended up cheating with the friend because the sex was much better than with her husband and she developed feelings for her.

    I was the bull for 4 married couples. I cucked one husband for 25 years. The only one who is still married is the 25 year one and that was only because his wife could do anything she wanted to. She stayed with me for weeks at a time, went on vacation with me and had no rules at all. She had no reason to leave him since he was mostly her financial support. The others left their cucks for guys they fell in love with. Having a big fight the night after your first time is very common. Real life is not like the porn you have been jerking off to. Who am I to say don't try it though. I did and quickly changed to being a bull. Just a note that eventually the wife grows to resent her husband for either wanting to control what she does and who she has sex with or for not loving her enough to not want to share her as counterintuitive as that sounds. All 4 of them asked if I they could live with me if they left their husbands. I said no and they found another lover who did want them to move in with them, so they divorced their husbands.

    My wife was a cuckquean. She was the cuckold and I was the one who had sex with other women. My wife would either watch or just have sex when I was done with another woman. I ended up having sex with one woman for one night and fell in love with her. Three weeks later I left my wife for the new girl. Funny that sex produces Oxytocin which is the hormone that emotionally bonds a couple together and a mother to her child. We have little control over our emotions, regardless of rules or what we think. I came to my senses and went back to my wife in a month. After that my wife picked the girls from women she knew and I only had sex with them at our house. That is how we ended up inviting one to live with us and be in our bed and life for 30 years. My wife shared me with her best friend and other women for most of our marriage. Only until 7 years ago did she have me all to herself. Be careful as one night can change your life and mostly not for the good. All of our friends who were into cuckolding like us, all got divorced due to it. Try to find a long married cuckold couple. They are as rare as hen's teeth, even online where people make up stuff about cuckolding all the time. I bet you never met a real cuckold but think everyone is doing it because it is popular online and the porn industry produces what sells at the time. I have only met 4 cuckolds in 44 years and never met another bull. The only reason I met 4 of them was because I lived in NYC and there were a lot of kinky people there and I met them through the couple we had a wife swap with. There was a local wife swap and swingers club right in my immediate neighborhood. Most of them were into all sorts of things, wife sharing, as it was called back then, was one of them. We also got approached on a cruise and while in Cancun for me to have sex with a wife while the husband and my wife watched. We did not play with strangers.

    Real life is guys not showing up. Guys who like to pretend they are going to cuckold you but then disappear when it gets too real. Guys who send phony pics of guys with big penises. When I was a cuckold I came home to find guys waiting for my girlfriend. They looked in their pocketbook when my gf was cleaning up after sex with them. Some thought that since she had sex with them, she was now their girlfriend since obviously her man could not sexually satisfy her. The wives I was with told me tales of guys showing up smelling bad, drunk, ejaculating too soon, lacked stamina, wanted to make love rather than just sex, forced them to do things they did not want to do, slipped off condoms on the sly, forced their penises down their throat, could not get it up with their husband's watching, etc.. Most guys are not comfortable with other guys watching them have sex, especially sex with the other dude's wife. For all they know you can get jealous and kill them. The reason why I never wanted to watch and when I did, it ruined our relationship.

    66% of men who want their wives to have sex with other men are bi whether they know it now or later. In my wife's case that was true. She swore she was not bi but in the end she had a full time girlfriend and leans more towards women than men. No straight woman is going to want to lick another woman's love juices off of her man's' penis all the time. In any event, after the first time, those who continue run into problems with the wife feeling like she is being used by her cuck to satisfy his fetish. It is all about him, not her. Porn shows cuckolding differently than it really is. They hire actors and have script. You will just be finding a man who probably does not understand cuckolding and will tell you what you want to her in order to have free sex with your wife. Also, once done you cannot undo it. If you see your wife enjoy the arms of another man much more than yours, you will feel something and it is not usually joy. What works better is an open marriage where you can have sex with others to. In that way your wife is not an actor in your fantasies. All the cucks I knew thought they were in charge but little did they know what really happened when I was with their wives. They only knew the BS that their wives told them on the phone or when they got home. I would laugh when I heard the stories the wives made up. As one wife said, she would be stupid not to tell her cuck what he wanted to hear.

    If you try it once and you do not ruin your marriage, you can then do it very occasionally and get away with it if your wife does not meet a guy she is instantly attracted to. I tried it and lost a girlfriend. I tried again with my wife and she hated it, started having sex with women and regrets going against her personal moral code to this day. So try it and roll the dice. BTW, it can talk a very long time to find the right guy. Do not use Craig's list and keep in mind that the guys you find are having sex with lots of women and maybe men. Even with a condom your wife can get a STD or pregnant. Our girlfriend got pregnant from one of the other guys she was dating even they she said they used a condom. It may have broken of the guy may have slipped it off. I got an STD that I passed onto my wife from a cuckoldress who swore that she only had sex with her cuck. What she did not know was that her cuck got tired of only his wife having sex so he had sex with other woman on the side and got an STD.

    Psychologist suggest not using a friend which most think is the safest way. The reason for this is that your wife is having sex with someone she knows and for whom she has some level of emotional feelings for, if only friendship. That can turn into love real fast or end up with her wanting more but not wanting to tell you so she sees him just one more time and then again and again. Been there and done that. The best time is when you are on vacation and meet men that you will never see again. That is as safe as you can get. Getting a guy on vacation is very easy. Have your wife dress sexy, hang out at a club while you are watching her from a distance. Have her flirt or simply smile at other guys. When they buy her a drink or talk to her, she can causally mention that although she is wearing a wedding band, her husband likes when she plays with other men. If she wants sex with the guy she can simply tell the guy that he can have sex with her if she lets her husband watch. That is the tricky part as most will decline, unless they are very horny or drunk. She needs to make the guy feel comfortable and one way to do that is to give you a signal so you can join your wife, say hi to the guy and reassure him that you like to watch and he has nothing to worry about as it is something you two do for sexual excitement. That never worked for us but you can try it. I am a big tough looking ex military guy so it tended to scare guys off. Heck, I never wanted to have sex with a wife with her husband watching so I cannot judge others. I did let a guy watch once and he freaked out and ran out of my house. Luckily he was a submissive man or it could have turned ugly. How dangerous is it? I carried a gun at all times.

    So good luck and hope it turns out well for you. Most of the success stories you read online are false. I bet you never read a post about how it destroyed a marriage after the first time. No guys feed each others fantasies all the time online. Most of those amateur videos are not amateur. You can see professional lighting or wonder who is filming the husband and bull in bed with the wife? Why are their flash cameras going off and if you look carefully you can sometimes see the reflection of a crew filming the action. Most of the wives have wedding rings on the wrong fingers or even hands. I have actually seen a wedding band fall off of a so called real wife's hand because it is too big. Most do not have an engagement ring since they just slip an inexpensive band on the porn actresses finger. Sometimes they forget to put a wedding band on the so called husband. Real cuckolding is not like you think it is. There is a lot that can go wrong since unlike in your fantasy, the other guy is not following your script and your wife will react with her body, not your instructions.

    I forgot to say that the two times I watched it did not arouse me or make me jealous. It was a waste of my time. However it was easy for me because my wife was not getting into it and did not orgasm or even moan. She just let it happen because the guy was a good friend of ours.
     
    locked17, Patsey Belle and Mark Owen like this.
  3. My ex and I had several men join us. She had an amazing way of finding them. How I have no clue. All I know is that one was a friend of mine and he was the only one that we both had a LTR with.
    The rest were more like playthings or they were trying out MMF and got scared for follow up play.
     
    Patsey Belle likes this.
  4. My Mistress has had some success with Craigslist. You need to be specific in you're ad. Generally the ones who won't phone chat, send pics or meet for coffee are the time wasters
     
  5. I would think that any married couple that has went through the decision to bring a fantasy to reality, have thoroughly thought out the possible ramifications. Anyone who's actually watched porn, or reality shows, knows they are about as real as a three dollar bill. Of course the internet is filled with fantasy. Mmmm do I watch the vid with the hung good looking bull pounding wordlessly away at some beautiful super horny moaning wife? Or do I watch the crusty drug addled average endowed hick quickly pump away at a silent crying wife? In the fantasy of having 2 girls I didn't fantasize about one of them doing it because she thought I wanted it and end up getting mad because I kissed the other. Or cumming in two minutes leaving them both feeling obligated to fool around with each other, even though I'm sure neither really wanted to. My fantasy about playing for the Pittsburgh Steelers doesn't involve me being the kicker. Fantasy is perfect and reality isn't. Do we really need to warn people that what they see on the internet and porn isn't real?

    Adding a partner into any pair bond would be tricky at the very least unless it was normal behavior from the very beginning, and even then some issues could arise. So water is wet, fire is hot, and inviting some guy to fuck your wife might harm your relationship.

    That being said, if we were to attempt it, I would put an ad on Craigslist for a couple not a single. It would state what we were looking for and who would be doing the playing. It would also state that there would be a friendship process to get to know them and when everything clicked, something might happen. I would say this isn't a race and willing to wait for the right person. Seeking another married couple would reduce the risk of std's and everyone would be on the same page as far as partnering. I'm not saying this would work, and might take a very long time to find the right scenario, but hey this is your marriage...I would think it's worth the time and effort to try to make it the right thing for you both.

    Good luck
     
  6. CL, maybe Fetlife.

    You will get a lot of pic collectors and flakes but if you persist you should be able to hook up if you aren't in some remote location.

    Have a good understanding with your partner up front, and with anybody you bring in for fun. Sex with strangers is hot but awkward. Sex with fuck-buddies that have a track record with you is way more fun.

    Meet people in a public place. Using hotel rooms for initial encounters is another thing to consider.

    Really consider the FWB thing. It's way hotter when she is making dates with her bull and tells you at the last minute to help get her ready.
     
  7. In our case it was a single someone that she knew through another social group. She went very slowly and only proceeded when she was convinced I was really OK with it. It worked out very well for us.

    If your wife is in any social groups, sports, gym... those are all possibilities. She can start with flirting which will be hot for you both... when pressed she can reveal that her husband is OK with it. It will probably take a long time before you can realize the scenario you describe, but this is one path that i know worked.

    -d
     
  8. Answer in 4 words--Join a swingers group
     
  9. Mrs had some early luck on FL, but quickly tired of the caliber/commitment level of the men there. She’s recently shifted to OKCupid instead and has had much better luck finding reasonable, stable guys who are honest and looking for something more than booty-calls.

    Speaking only for us, it’s been an amazing new phase of our marriage, and our sex-life. Communication is the key... we talk about our feelings constantly, and keep absolutely nothing secret from each other.
     
    traveler and Penney like this.
  10. It's not easy trying to find a guy lol
    So many fakes and pic collectors. It can be done but it's not as easy as one would think
     
  11. In our case She follows dancing classes (without me), something She did before we met.
    She didn't go with the intent to find a Bull, but once cuckolding was on the table She met someone.
    Note: All involved people knew i was Her boyfriend from the start, so no awkward surprises...

    I can't talk for my Goddess, but i believe it seems to be a relative sane, flirty way to find someone who She might feel comfortable with and turned on by. A man who seems trustworthy.
    It takes time though... And dancing has to be something she is interested in :)

    The main difference is, i'm not included when She's with Her lover.
    Hope it helps!
     
  12. My wife and I have been swingers for years. We have met a few really great single men who understand that this type of sex is not a relationship.

    My input / advise is from the opinion of a cuck that has not actually acted out the act of being a cuck but I have had a bunch of MFM and watch my wife with up to 4 guys while I watch. But keep in mind I was not wearing a cage or acting submissive. But I do feel these great activities helped me to bring my sub/cuck feelings about. (Side note , my wife and I roleplay me being a cuck all the time)

    Craigslist can suck... I mean really suck. I have 10 + years of sales experience and I love psychology. I can read someone with texts and conversations. People always say things without saying them, if you know what I mean.

    90%+ of the guys on CL are just really horny. They have zero experience and don't really know if they can share a guys girl. Not their fault but their cluelesness can cause issues. I have even seen some that say they are 25 but I am pretty sure they are like 17. Crazy stuff.

    I recommend joining sls or sdc (Swinger websites). It will cost less than $30 a month , or just pay once and get a list of contacts. On SDC you can find guys that are Preferred Single Men. These guys are always awesome, from my experience. So chill and great pervs. ALso 90% of these guys are cheating on their girls.. which has some good benefits for scheduling and guys offering to pay for hotel rooms. These sites have validations and many even require a photo id for verificaiton. But really the reviews, that you can read... ARE PRICELESS.

    Even with this... I personally like the idea of having a MFM with out the cuckold theme. I know this can take away the sexy fetish.. but you want to explore with out having a shit night that can turn into a shit week.

    Even better, find a local meet and greet on the swinger website and set up atleast 1 single male to meet there. Don't try to set up abunch of guys... single males are cool but they don't like feeling like a sex toy.. most of the time.. hehehehe But if you go with out setting up even 1 person to meet you can get over whelmed and horny and not talk to a soul.

    Once you are at the meet and great you will meet other single guys and couples. EVEN IF YOU DON"T talk about cuck stuff you will be able to sense how turned on you are when the guy is talking to your girl. Or when she reaches out and gives that flirty hand to hand contact while she laughs at his jokes. It is super hot for me.

    But this will allow you to have fun and test before you commit. Trust me 90% of the single guys with swinger experience are cool with like eveything. Most of them are just against male on male contact. But even then almost half of them wouldn't mind a blowjob from another dude if they get to bang he's girl.

    Craigslist is cheaper but not worth it in my opinion.

    Have a shared Google Voice and KIK account. You can review it together and it is sexy and open.

    It is NORMAL for the guy to communicate with the other guy, in the swinger lifestyle. If your girl does the contact it will be pretty obvious you are looking for a cuck thing. But that might be a good thing.

    Please keep me posted. I would love to share my input but also it is so sexy to hear how it turns out.