Why there aren't more women here:

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Thatguyontheinternet, Jul 26, 2017.

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  1. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    #1 Thatguyontheinternet, Jul 26, 2017
    It used to be fun to tell the stories of our wild evenings together. Now its not, because every time we do someone decides I have broken some Femdom Commandment in the retelling, and the whining ensues. So we don't tell our stories any more. And it seems fewer and fewer do. Good job. Real people can't tell real stories of their lives in chastity. Stopping here daily in hopes of seeing something interesting has been a constant let down for weeks.

    Why there aren't more female members here?

    It might help if the existing female members of this site did more than CONSTANTLY complain about the site and its members.

    My KH is just as (if not more) bombarded by the endless horde of horn-balls that lurk this place as any other relatively active female member. There is nothing to be done about that. But what COULD be helpful is when women do join the site, other women connect with them, talk to them. Answer questions, reach out, and just generally do as you all keep berating every man on this site do: Act like you normally would in any other social setting (an utterly ridiculous expectation but for the moment helps make my point). But that's not happening.

    In my time here I have connected with several other men with whom I have had genuinely helpful conversations. After more time here than me, I have asked Her if there's been anyone - any female member - who has reached out to her, wanted to chitchat, provide advice, whatever. The answer is always no.

    Blame the dick pics, blame the cock-cage avatars (I find them annoying myself, actually), blame the men, blame the internet, blame whatever you want. There are not more woman here because the existing women offer nothing by way of support to newly arrived women, and in their own postings display very little affection for the place. Im sure the horn-ball horde is annoying, but the kind of women who find themselves here are probably pretty capable of handling that, don't you think? Do the women of this site view their sex as so weak as to be incapable of ignoring that which annoys them? Frankly thats one of the more sexist and demeaning claims bandied around here. The truth is, they get here, and yes, maybe get annoyed by the horn-balls, but mostly they see that the existing women, and female moderators no less, are clearly miserable, clearly don't like the membership here, and are far more interested in arguing than anything else.

    Thread after thread after thread the same people complaining about the same things, yet offering woefully little themselves outside of horrendously banal "what movies did you see!" crap. Thats not what they came here for. Those discussions WILL happen when people get to know each other. But you can not make that happen. Communities grow, they aren't built. You can't force it with a bunch of lame threads supposing to start "normal" discussions. But you can destroy them though. And when literally every other day some member or another feels compelled the say goodby because of the constant harassment by a VERY small minority who are truly convinced of their own superiority, then you are headed in the wrong direction. The people leaving, and the people who have fallen silent, are not among the horn-ball horde - you do get that, right? The horde are lurkers for the most part. The people backing away are doing so because they no longer feel welcome, let alone entertained. Think about that.

    Anyway. I don't know anything about anything, and everything I just wrote is probably crap. But I do know one thing: I used to enjoy checking in here, and now I don't.
     
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  2. L-u-c-y
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    L-u-c-y
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    #2 L-u-c-y, Jul 26, 2017
    I for one have never commented on any of your threads.

    You agree on the avatars, good :) It seems more people are against them than for them.

    It seems you are doing quite a bit of complaining.
     
  3. Mascara^Snake
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    #3 Mascara^Snake, Jul 26, 2017
    [QUOTE="Thatguyontheinternet, post: 213924, member: 41227"
    I have asked Her if there's been anyone - any female member - who has reached out to her, wanted to chitchat, provide advice, whatever. The answer is always no.
    [/QUOTE]

    She's never reached out to me.

    I talk to everyone who writes.
     
  4. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    #4 Thatgirl, Jul 26, 2017
    Hum...it seems as though you have responded to this one, thus negating your response. Anyway, I agree with everything my locked boy has to say and more. CM has become annoying and boring to boot. I used to enjoy posting on here, but now I do not due to the endless barrage of complaining and arguing. I wouldn’t say he is complaining, I would say that he is making an effective observation of the current state of CM. I ignore the locked dick pics, if a conversation or thread isn’t up my alley, I don’t engage in it. Very simple. This is Chastity Mansion, and like it or not, the VAST majority of members on here are locked males. I for one do not think we should strive to be “female friendly”. Why? Because a female will come on here knowing full well what this place is about. If she can’t handle the random, once in awhile thread of something off putting, like drinking pee perhaps, then maybe this isn’t the place for her. With chastity comes myriad kinks, many of which are beyond my comfort zone. But that does not mean I will leave here as CM gives me a valuable place to come talk about the female aspect of male chastity, something which I cannot do with my vanilla friends.
     
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  5. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    #5 Thatgirl, Jul 26, 2017
    FYI...not looking to start an argument. Just stating the facts as I see them. Back to lurking now until thing return to semi-normalcy.
     
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  6. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    #6 Living Curious, Jul 26, 2017
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  7. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    #7 Thatgirl, Jul 26, 2017
    Hey hey! No need to stir the pot!
     
  8. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #8 Nicoftime, Jul 26, 2017
    So glad you were given authority here, I used to be able to hit the ignore button on the bile you spewed out. Now here you are as a moderator and threw out an insult where none was warranted...heck even if it was warranted, you're a mod now!

    Good talk

    @Thatguyontheinternet you are spot on, my kh has not heard from any female and they joined roughly the same time.
     
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  9. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    #9 Living Curious, Jul 26, 2017
    My bad, couldn't help it.
     
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  10. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    #10 Thatgirl, Jul 26, 2017
    You’re good, lol! Just messing with you ;-)
     
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  11. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    #11 Thatgirl, Jul 26, 2017
    Hi Nic. One of the reasons I don’t talk to other females is because I am not fond of other females. Nothing against the women here, it’s just how I am. Females are judgmental and catty 95% of the time. I choose not to engage because honestly I don’t want to get my panties in a twist over meaningless crap.
     
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  12. Mascara^Snake
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    #12 Mascara^Snake, Jul 26, 2017
    @Thatguyontheinternet you are spot on, my kh has not heard from any female and they joined roughly the same time.[/QUOTE]

    Well if she doesn't reach out then she's unlikely to make acquaintances
     
  13. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #13 Nicoftime, Jul 26, 2017
    When entering a new environment it is much easier nicer to start a conversation with the new person than waiting for then to interact...human nature. I moved and changed schools almost a dozen times, it's always the better for others to make the first move.
     
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  14. Mascara^Snake
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    #14 Mascara^Snake, Jul 26, 2017
    That's only possible if they are visible Nico
     
  15. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    #15 Nicoftime, Jul 26, 2017
    True
     
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  16. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    #16 Mistress Jules, Jul 26, 2017
    It is true that when you are a newbie to a forum, things can be made so much easier if someone who is already a member reaches out to say hi. I can only apologise to @Thatgirl and @Mistress Amanté that they didn't hear from anyone when they joined.
     
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  17. L-u-c-y
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    L-u-c-y
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    #17 L-u-c-y, Jul 26, 2017
    Where did I throw out an insult?
     
  18. Thatgirl
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    #17 Thatgirl, Jul 26, 2017
    It's okay. I got the hang of the site pretty quickly. Now being a KH - that took some trial and error!
     
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  19. Veronika
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    #18 Veronika, Jul 26, 2017
    I think this forum experiences a common problem of any internet community with a niche topic. After some time the topics burn out and any newcommer has a more difficult way to join as forum. The community is already established, there are some inner dynamics and not all are keen to discuss same topics again and again.
     
  20. Mascara^Snake
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    #19 Mascara^Snake, Jul 26, 2017
    If someone joins and doesn't announce it then how is anyone to know they have joined?
     
  21. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    #20 Thatgirl, Jul 26, 2017
    I did my "first time post" the very first day I was on here and was welcomed. I have been active ever since up until the last month or so.
     
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  22. Mascara^Snake
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    #21 Mascara^Snake, Jul 26, 2017
    ok well I must have missed it.
    I've also been banned for ages.

    Anyway I'm reaching out now.
     
  23. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    #22 Thatguyontheinternet, Jul 26, 2017
    I didn't mean that the ladies who come by need a welcoming committee and tutorials on how to ignore people.

    I mean that one would presume a female wandering in here has some interest in male chastity. But, like my own KH, being in that position is new, and somewhat unnatural. Therefore it would be great if other KHs connected to share experience and advice. That's all. Instead what these proverbial "new women" to the forum see is constant bickering and non-stop judgment against anyone who dares share a story about how they're ACTUALLY LIVING this lifestyle because it may not match someone else's. It's obsurd. It's wildly unattractive from an outsiders point of view. And it's tiring for those of us who used to be able to come here and tell our stories without fear of reprisal from the feminazis and their lonesome acolytes.

    @Nicoftime - leave her alone. I once likened her debate style to an adolescent girl who gets the last word and then slams the door in mom's face for dramatic effect. Something like getting the last word in a thread then immediately locking it... At least she didn't do that. It's all good. One doesn't need an ignore button to ignore.
     
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  24. Mascara^Snake
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    #23 Mascara^Snake, Jul 26, 2017
    That's a bit of a silly post.
     
  25. Thatguyontheinternet
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    Thatguyontheinternet Owned by Thatgirl

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    #24 Thatguyontheinternet, Jul 26, 2017
    And while I'm at it:

    If everyone would just back off each other a little, I think things would settle. We don't all have to be friends.

    @Mistress B does not like me, or agree with how me and Thatgirl live this lifestyle. I am aware of that. I'm not terribly fond of her myself, though mostly because I know she doesn't like me ;) And yet, in close to two years here she and I have NEVER engaged it open argument. To my knowledge she's never directly disparaged me, nor I her. That is because we are grown adults.

    If you find yourself constantly engaged in arguments that go too far, I would merely suggest that you yourself may in fact be the issue. (To no one in particular)
     
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  26. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    #25 Jasmic68, Jul 26, 2017
    I'm really sorry to hear about your negative experience and decision to go into lurk mode @Thatgirl - I really like reading your posts.

    The battle between the ladies of the Mansion that I have been witnessing recently has been quite depressing. I like pretty much all of them and think the Mansion could be an entirely more positive experience without the issues.

    I have got to a stage where I have a better appreciation of @Mistress Lucy and how she approaches male chastity. @Mascara^Snake is exactly the person I would like to talk to my Wife for the serious side of chastity and FLR (although a few recent posts I have read of hers have made me also realise that fun is very much part of her style as well!) and, if I am ever likely to be in Glasgow, you can bet I will be contacting @Mistress Jules for an introduction to a BDSM club as I am a complete noob when it comes to that sort of thing. @keephimcaged is another female who has gone mostly quiet on this forum which is a massive shame given her incredible imagination and zest for life.

    The positive thing about all of this though is we are at least talking about the same thing. How do we improve the Mansion and encourage more women to join? We all want the same thing.

    So my wish would be for a everyone to realise this and to try and get on.
     
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