Why I am here ...

Hello all,

It may seem odd to write an introduction and discuss "why I am here" since I've been a member of this message board since it started. But, I am in an "introspective" moment in my life and it just seemed a good idea to write this.

My reason for being here is to meet other people in the Chastity & Cuckold lifestyle. I am fascinated with this kind of relationship. And I've developed a sense of purpose for it that I will try to explain. I know that every relationship is different so I won't generalize. But, what I see happening now in our chastity/cuckold lifestyle is simply a continuation of what has been going on between men and women for centuries.

My wife and I watched a movie that, in my opinion, describes where we are today with chastity/cuckold. The movie is called "One Night With The King." It is a "semi-true" story that takes place centuries ago. When you first begin the movie, it may seem to be too religious and indeed it is based on religious tales. But, it is actually a sort of "chick" flick with lots of romance and a woman finding her strength and power at the end. But, what we found fascinating is the sub plot which caught us by surprise. Initially, the female lead is beginning a relationship with a man she grew up with. It all seems very normal and could've led to their marriage, a vanilla life, with lots of children. But, the times they lived in were brutal. Fate or chance made their relationship take a sudden turn that forever changed them.

The boyfriend was captured and castrated. The woman was also captured and placed in the King's harem. She begins a powerful relationship with the King and their attraction for one another is very strong. As this is going on, she meets her castrated former boyfriend and he professes his continuing deep love for her. He admits that now thyat he is castrated he could never have the kind of relationship with her that he wanted. But, he still wants her desperately and tries to convince her to escape and run away with him. She reacts, as any woman would react, she feels sorry for him and tries to comfort him. But, she makes it clear she wants the King as her lover. She could never give up a potentially robust sex life to live with a eunuch.

This sub plot could be easily glossed over. It is, afterall, just a sub plot. But, if you think about what happened, it is a life changing event that lives with each of them for the rest of their lives. The King does bed the girl and it is clear that it is a very intense sexual relationship. The castrated male can never compete with the King (on many levels, of course, but especially sexually). He must live the rest of his life without a functioning penis. One would hope "mother nature" was mercival and killed off his sex drive. But, the reality is that he knew what it was like to lust for a woman. He knew what a hard-on was like. He knew the pleasure of orgasm. It is forever denied to him now. He can never again fulfill his lust or feel that pleasure.

I am in chastity. It makes me a modern day eunuch. I tell the story of this movie because I have concluded that just as centuries ago, when it comes to sex with a woman, some men are Alpha males and some men are beta males. I am married to a "cuckoldress" who loves having sex with very well hung men. Sometimes I get to watch, other times listen, and some times I don't know about it until after it happened. She's had a few duds, for sure. But, many were great lovers. Each of these men could erect easily. They did not feel "unworthy" of sex. Quite the contrary. They loved the pleasure my wife can give to them. I realized just how inadequate I am as a lover. My wife thinks my penis is too small and I get so nervous around her (and other women I have known). So much so, that I can't get erect most of the time. She loves me as her "soul mate." I adore and worship her. Whatever intimacy I get from her (kissing her ass mostly) is better than no sex.

My ex-wife and I are still friendly. She is remarried and her husband is everything she wanted in a man. Plus his cock is magnificent. It gets hard easily and is about 7 inches long (I lived with them for a while, so I know - but that's a different story to tell). For her, the sex with him is perfect. But, she loves talking to me and/or my current wife. She tells me how she misses my great tongue. But, she never misses an opportunity to let me know when she has to sign off and go have sex with her husband. My current wife says I am a cuckold to both my ex and her.

I wear chastity full time and rarely am allowed out to jack off. I have used the intense feelings and desperation for sexual contact to energize myself as her cuckold husband. I'll do anything to earn time out of my cage. And yet, through meditation and dreams, I think of myself as a modern day eunuch. No different form the thousands of males in centuries past who ended up in the same place I have ended up: lusty for a woman who I cannot have sexually because my penis is locked away.

Think about it. Wearing chastity is a deep emotional experience. Wearing it without a break for months will grip your very soul. It seems so unfair to be denied orgasm while my wife and ex-wife and their lovers have many orgasms each week. But, at least there is some hope of release. If I lived those many centuries ago, castration would certainly have been my fate. I am sure of it.

In all our history, some men enjoy and "deserve" the pleasure of sex with a woman. Other men are denied. How this happens in each generation is different. But, it happens. It is the way of life.

marcus