Hi, I joined this site years ago and occasionally lurked but haven’t ever posted until very recently. I started posting after seeing that the forums seem warm and welcoming. I had been searching for posts on how some of you have navigated introducing your chastity fetish to your partner. I’ve been interested in chastity for probably about 15 years. I started with the usual plastic CB style devices and eventually bought a Mature Metal Jailbird when I got serious and met my first keyholder - an open minded friend. Just over three years ago I met my wonderful wife. We got engaged after a year, married a year later and in the middle of the Covid-19 lockdown celebrated our first wedding anniversary. We live on the west coast of Scotland, have recently bought our first house, and my wife has two grown up (and moved out) daughters. Life is good. Chastity has taken a back seat for me while we’ve dealt with life (family illnesses, job worries, wedding planning, mortgage application, home moving) and getting to where we are now. I’ve had kinks that have come and gone and ones that I enjoyed but were basically driven by a particular partner, but chastity is one of my constants. I’m self aware enough to know that it isn’t going anywhere and I will always long to have it play part of my married life. I have never brought up chastity with my wife but am sure she would at the very least humour me. I honestly feel I could talk about anything with her, I think my block is just deciding how best to bring it up. She enjoys teasing and is gradually becoming naturally more dominant although switch is probably the best label. She’s also enthusiastically embraced my foot fetish and I’m sure would be upset to know I was nervous about bringing up an interest. I’m sure I’ll post more over time but that’s my very abbreviated story so far.
hello and welcome. There are a few threads with advice on raising the subject with wives/partners. Good luck
Welcome to the Mansion! As you know your wife better than we do, I'm sure you'll find someone's story that resonates with how you approach her about your other intimate details.
I would start with the start and tell her everything including that you always had this kink but was too afraid to bring it up.
The truth is , there is no right time to mention it . There are probably wrong times but no right times . It just needs to be put out there and be prepared to discuss it and answer any questions. My wife has known about my interest for probably 15 yrs , she knows I desire it , she even says she likes the way it makes me feel but she still doesn't understand it . I self lock and have done now almost 24/7 for several months . I still don't find it easy to discuss . My wife accepts that I enjoy being locked , she kind of understands why I do it but she doesn't yet embrace it , I hope she will one day and believe she probably will . Get it out in the open and be prepared to accept your desire for chastity may not be hers . For a lot of us it is a long journey.I've wanted a piercing , either pa or frenum for years but can't see her getting on board with that for a while . However I can see myself getting pierced and my wife just accepting that it's just me doing my thing . Neither loving it or hating it . Do your research , find your right device ( just in case she embraces the idea) and be prepared for a long journey of little steps . Ultimately, if you love each other you will find a way to work this . Good luck
Thanks for the welcome and all of the advice. That is insightful. You’re right there are times where bringing it up would be a disaster, selfish or just inappropriate. But other than avoiding those, there is never going to be a perfect time and waiting for one will ultimately be a long excuse for avoiding a slightly awkward admission.
Be nervous and plow through it. There's really no other way. Worst she can say is she doesn't want to partake in it. And at least then you know. Good luck!
Very true. Thanks. At the end of the day it literally is that simple. I’m very prone to overthinking which makes starting the conversation harder.