Why do you think it is that there are not many female members of CM?

I’m going to take a risk of potentially offending you (not my intention) and say that you are in the minority of women. My experience is limited only to the women I personally know, but nearly all of them don’t frequently discuss sex. At least not in the presence of men. Maybe women have discussions amongst themselves that they don’t have in the company of men. But the women I have known never seemed to set sex or thinking about or discussing sex as high priorities in their day to day lives. Certainly not to the extent that men typically do. And I believe the lack of female presence on Internet forums like this backs up my opinion.

When my wife has a little bit of free time, the last thing she wants to spend her time on is visiting a website about sexual matters. She would rather watch a YouTube video about tiny homes or anything else relating to her fascination with the minimalism fad (which I detest and admit is a point of contention in our marriage). Anything sexual would literally be the last thing she would want to spend her time on.

Honestly I’m glad that there are a few regular female visitors here. My wife’s lack or inability to communicate in meaningful ways about sex can be frustrating. Having women on here to share a female point of view gives me at least some insight into what might be going on in her head and heart.

 

No hunny you are not disabled...... but I get your point. Party on

 

I wouldn’t say it is a male fetish. Maybe predominantly male, but not exclusively. Chastity is very much my wife’s fascination more than it is mine and she enjoys it more and more as time passes. I personally never had any intention of it becoming a major part of our intimate life, I just wanted to stop masturbating. But my wife was pretty much instantly hooked from day one. She had never heard of it before, but it was a “love at first sight” type of thing for her.

It has grown on me over time. I still experience a lot of frustration as the chaste one in the relationship, but I am very thankful for the nearly infinite improvement in our sex life that it has brought. My appreciation of male chastity is something that has taken some time to develop. I was very happy to find this place and be able to read and discuss others’ experiences, struggles, and victories with chastity. It’s kind of cathartic in a way for me I guess. My wife is not very open at all about discussing sexual things, so it has been very helpful to read the material on here from female members to help me understand my wife’s motivation for liking me chaste so much. It is truly strange in my mind that she can tell me that she “adores” my chaste state, but rarely wants to discuss it. When I really like something I want to discuss it, read about it, understand it, etc.

Anyway, I hope my rambling post made the point that male chastity is not necessarily a male fetish.

 

Thought I would bring this up since i was as ask d by a partner to list an example.

A recent member, a female keyholder, wrote a lovely, well thought out and expressive post...a troll wrote ... “lol”

Can she take it in stride, let it go as someone with nothing being jealous, be the bigger person and ignore it...she could, and probably will. Could she decide this place is too judgmental and decide it’s not worth the trouble...she could do that as well.

I was asked why I felt there was a change in attitude, and this is precisely the kind I was talking about. Awhile back, people would have condemned his rudeness and he probably would have moved on. Now it’s like a part of normalcy, like an acceptable amount of rat droppings in flour. Haters are going to hate, let’s ignore it.

Genuine discussion, actual debate, and replying to counter points of view have been replaced.

So why are there less female members...rudeness, there isn’t a reason for them to stay and open up, if being told what they are doing is wrong, or are ridiculed for sharing.

 

hey @Nicoftime there are quite a few females here and in contrary to your view I thought that female participation has gone up.

As soon as I saw the "lol comment" yesterday I silently reported it and put "trolling" in the description.

I think we can all do that when we see those comments and make the site more friendly. One huge improvement I saw is that all the dick pics have disappeared and I genuinely feel that the moderator and partner team are gradually improving the site and making it more female friendly. There was though a huge outcry from people that were asked not to show their dick as a profile pic - so generally it is difficult to make it right for everyone.

 

Just where would Male Chastity be without females to hold the keys? I know there are male key holders as well but the majority of us are locked by ladies I believe! How many ladies here are locked by their menfolk? Not so easy for women to be locked long term I would imagine.

 

I agree that there has been a lot a new female members, I do think that the turn over is pretty quick though.

The avatar thing while not handled well at first was a great idea, and I believe helped the site as well.

There have been many other improvements as well. Mostly dug this thread up after getting grilled about “nothing’s changed” “it’s the same”.

 

Hold on, 2 days before he wrote "lol" on that thread, you created a new thread called "Lol!!! Real chastity, it always makes me smile" which was in reply to his thread. So you are saying it's ok for you to do a "lol" in reply to a post but not ok for others? Or is your ''lol" justified by:
- being in a thread title, not the body text?
- being a criticism of someone else's thread but not actually naming them or responding by posting in their thread?
- being followed by a comprehensive criticism of that person's opinions?

 

Again it was meant to sound that way. By the way I wasn’t really laughing out loud. Justifed? I don’t know. It doesn’t have to be because I wasn’t rude, and the message was about tolerance, yes even his “way”. Yes I created a thread for him or any other to voice their disagreement and not on his thread because he trolled me for a bit. When I asked him what his problem was I got “you’re a pathetic waste of oxygen”...so much for dialogue. Anyway, me directly interacting with that person wasn’t going to end in constructive debate. I surely wasn’t going to do that on someone else’s thread.

 

Just my two cents, but I think the biggest problem that would avert new comers in general is the line between reality and fantasy is incredibly blurred on a forum like this.

Whilst there are lots of lovely people with genuine stories which are fascinating, there are also lots of fantasist. Whilst there's nothing wrong with it, the extreme end of the fantasy to a newbie coming from a mostly vanilla background would be extremely off-putting I imagine.
For me, the best way to encourage new members (and women in particular) would be to encourage and reward existing members for being more personable.

(ironic as I haven't filled out my profile yet I know).

If the existing members come across more like real people with real discussions it would scare less people I imagine perhaps encourage people to post verification photos and give them a different border if they are confirmed so it's easier to define who is who and which posts are more fantasy.

 

To be honest I think that might have the opposite effect. This is a niche kink and probably most wouldn't want friends and relations knowing about it. The anonymity of a site like this is good for allowing a forum to discuss the kink without fear of exposure.

Yes, there are many fantasists on here and some of the threads and journals are obviously made up. Does that matter?

On the OP, I suspect there are fewer women than men interested in this, and those there are probably have someone they share the kink with.

And when they come to a forum like this, I am sure they get bombarded with requests from needy men. That would get tiresome. I'm not surprised they back off.

 

Well, you must do what you think best, but it doesn't seem constructive to me to create a new thread specifically for people to disagree with (or LOL at) another thread. So much for dialogue!

 

I will admit, not very productive, I will work on reacting in such a way in the future. I let my personal history with that fella charge me into reaction. Good points.

 

Chastity focuses on the locking or denying of sexual pleasure. It is practically easier and more accepted to do this to the man. And once you are in Chastity, you have to process all the stuff that goes with it. This is where CM tends to have lots of male visitors. By design, it is a male focused site.

If you are looking for change, the scope and design needs to cater to a female fetish readily available, accepted, and practical. It may not be Chastity specifically...

 

Since the start of the year, I have noticed more females becoming members and posting threads, and I really do think it's important and makes this site all the more pertinent and enjoyable. I hope this trend continues for all concerned. Let's try not to scare them away.

 

I haven't noticed this thread before so although it's old, I'll throw in my two penny's worth.

I've not been 'bombarded' by messages from anyone since I've been here. So I don't think that's a problem. The whole site is way more respectful than chat rooms and forums on bigger fetish/kink sites.

I would welcome more content from women, talking about their own experiences, their concerns, what works etc. But then, I find reading the men's experiences very useful too, as a way to get in my own morsel's head.

I think others are right that probably most women finding their way here will do so via their men. But equally, if you google chastity related searches, CM comes up quite high in results, so some women will make their own way here. Because the forums aren't private, you can read the content without joining, so maybe women don't feel the need to join?