Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by Mistress Lucy, Jul 26, 2017.
It's not dissimilar to other fetish sites.
One of the issues is that F members often get pestered with unwanted PMs from males - happens to me on FL a lot.
But the general membership (F and M) trend on CM is upward. This is by far the best and most frequented site of this type that there is.
But I do think (I have mentioned this before) an F KH only forum would help.
I only get about 1 message every 2 weeks here, I think I have scared everyone away
The site numbers are always going to go up, they are not going to go down. But the vast majority of members haven't been online for years.
If no one will verify for a female room it is pointless.
There is such a section at CM.
It's only visible in the forum section if you have been added to it by Admin.
There are a handful of members.
It fell out of use sometime ago, shortly after male moderators were given access to it.
Lucy if you like you can login as me and have a look.
Maybe you have scared some away. I get a lot more, many unwanted! But it's not the membership - that of course won't go down: it's the number of hits and posts and visits that make the yardstick. And they regularly go up.
And while many members have not been on site for years, you'd be surprised how many come back after huge periods of inactivity.
Although I'm quite new here, from my limited perspective I would agree with all three of these points. On the first one, the problem isn't unique to this forum. It happens in other subject matter forums as well where experts and long time users can overwhelm those who are new. On the third point, I would hate to have a KH-only forum as I would certainly like to be able to read what women have to say about the various issues. Perhaps something where only the women could post but the men could still read the material?
Hi @Mistress Lucy
I think this is a great question that I think that a few members have given there input, so I am going to give my two cents, so hear goes I believe if you look in the what's new section and it was your first time and you did not know anything about male chastity what you see would make you click away very quickly, what I am about to say is not intended to insult anyone or drive anyone away but here goes with the words like... blisters on sack ... cock Sucking .. Cuck/Bull?Dom/sub..ball stretching...Hubby wearing a bra . I am not saying these words are wrong to use, but if you are not used to using these words it could come over as a little much for a person for the first time, if you want more female members that there must be a way of pleasing both the current members. these words and phases might seem harmless but if you wanted to try and find out some information on male chastity these are an indication to click off and close the page.
For a website that wants to elevates the role of women in everyday life this website certainly know how to make women feel not welcome. when I click the main page it says nothing about the role of the female and the benefits for female partners and can I say if this was a shop and a woman walked in I would think she was lost. look at bottom of the home page you will see USERS FOUND THIS PAGE BY SEARCHING FOR: I am not going to list them out but it says everything about male chastity and nothing about the role of females or even the words FLR. I would love to show this website to my wife to find out about male chastity but if the did she would think that is as one member put it a "men's locker room"
I do think that the male chastity lifestyle have a lot to offer couples that want to try and shift the balance of power in a relationship away from the man and to bring it back to the center. I do believe that a couple can be vanilla and also be in the male chastity lifestyle.
I will not be surprised to get pack in my box, it was not my intent to insult anyone.
Well said. It is a mens locker room mentality that "anything goes", and those who are less open minded should learn to like it or f*** off and find a vanilla site. So then it's not being inclusive to those people is it?
Women as a rule watch different types of porn than men. They also react differently. Where as a male needs visual simulation. film clips etc. A female is simulated by reading and imagination. That is why they have " women porn" So, women act and think different then some horny caged male. So they pass their time eating BON BONS and laughing at their caged male,
My wife would be more interested in reading/joining if there were more posts about enforced chastity without using a cage. That is our arrangement and it makes for a much broader and deeper submission that gives her unlimited powers of control and that makes me completely fulfilled.
You could always write one yourself and get the ball rolling on that subject
Good idea. Will do. Many thanks.
I will opine. First, I get on here some times more sometimes less because I have a very busy professional and social life. My personal life with my husband and the couple we play with also keeps us busy. Me more than him. That being said, the moment I get on here I get bombarded with instant messages ranging from really deep conversation starters like “hey” “hello there” and “wanna hold my key” etc. Then I get all of the questions like “how long have you been locked”? Really? Did you even read my profile and know that I hold the key? Not the other way around? Most of the conversations that are started are extremely shallow and apparently poised to illicit arousal for that person...presumably because they have their cherished member in their hand waiting for an exciting interaction. That is off putting but I choose not to engage. Then there are those who constantly challenge your validity or question your decisions regarding the lifestyle we I chose. And then there is unsolicited advise on why I should unlock him more for pleasure or not have sex with Jen and her husband while keeping my wonderful husband denied. So I can understand where many women would be put off. That being said, I enjoy the mansion. It is a place where I can share my experiences. With all things you have to take the good with the bad.
I will never get the idiots who do not understand how ironic it is that they are masturbating to chastity.
Because it can actually be quite a bore.
Male chastity is a male fetish. Sure there are women who come to enjoy it, but if you go through the accounts of people here you'll see that it is almost always the man who initially brings up the subject of male chastity. Outside of Literotica stories, there aren't many women who just suddenly start fantasizing about locking up men in chastity without any sort of male prompting.
This isn't too surprising - it makes sense that men spend more time thinking about male genitals than women do.
Oh yes and men that make sweeping statements in posts about female members.
Forgot that one.
lol. A. It is sometimes boring but that's life.
One of the the things that I did not like about Cm is being bombarded by horny messages from strangers. Thats not my idea of having fun over here... Yes I would welcome more female members and think that a female room would encourage other female members ...
I, as a female, have enjoyed visual pornography ever since I discovered it and discovered self-pleasure.
With all due respect, you should not generalize all women in their preference in pornography (or men for that matter). For instance, @Thatguyontheinternet and I both have several preferences regarding our pornography likes and dislikes that conventional wisdom would attribute to the opposite sex.
For example: I get off on visual stimulation such as close up shots of the genitals and he likes to watch the actress' facial reactions and does not prefer close-ups, I prefer visual for the most part and don't really get off on reading whereas thatguy does. I don't like sound and will often mute the videos whereas thatguy practically needs the sound (although he doesn't like actual talking in porn, in real life he loves nothing more than when I talk dirty to him). My pornography preference is heterosexual anal with close ups of penetration and his is heterosexual Maledom (although he has not been allowed to view it in a VERY long time) with visuals of the whole person, especially the face and doesn't like close-ups.
The point is we are all very different with this stuff so broad generalizations like "women don't usually like porn" or "women prefer ____" are not usually productive for these kind of conversations. We are all unique and that is such a wonderful thing!
Hi @thekeyholderwife. That is the exact reason that I never have chat enabled. I just click "offline" under the gear in the chat preferences and never have to worry about bombardment. If someone wants to go through the trouble of messaging me for various things such as requesting me to be their key holder or asking me intimate questions about my relationship, they have to do a private conversation, which thankfully has waned over the last 6 months or so. Hang in there and hopefully it will get better
Hi @TheKeyIsMine12 and welcome to CM! I am a fellow KH as well. Good tip: If you don't want to get bombarded by horny strangers, click on the chat bar at the bottom right of your screen, click on the gear at the bottom right of that and the choose "offline". Voila! No more chats from random men. Of course you can still get a conversation request, but those are more easily screened and ignored.
Allow me to be brutally honest. Over the years I felt that my sexual feelings were denied and misplaced jokes created "grand canyon" like scars. I wasn't aware at first that it caused frustration. A (bad bad bad) sexual therapist encouraged her to explore her sexuality while I was told to put my feelings in an imaginary cupboard and lock the doors.
Frustration is a monster, it made me very selfish as the only thing I could see were my unsatisfied urges and even worse: I convinced myself that retaliation could be legitimated as I viewed my wife as the root cause of our problems. In the end I wasn't even interested in her wishes anymore as frustration caused an extremely distorted view of reality.
Let me be careful to generalise my personal experiences but I definitely see similarities in behaviour or points of view. Approaching unknown ladies with selfish sexual wishes is socially unacceptable in about every society. Can you blame the person who does that? From a Buddhist point of view it would be advised to blame the frustration as it took over the person who probably acts in a way that he's not proud of either.
To create a safe place for women the solution is to be found in the detection of frustration, dogmatic views and reporting unacceptable messages. Not to name and shame, but to reach out and help. As this is a process and not an overnight change, a women-only section would be a great start.
Thank you ladies and men who gave my wife a very warm welcome over here. The majority rocks as always.
Women aren't the only ones who get " bothered ' by horny guys. I have had several males contact me to chat. When I ask How r u ? They reply horny or some other answer. So I ignore them--they go away I doubt I am the only male here who gets the " Let's talk dirty while we jerk off. Believe it or not there are lots of gay men here. Why can't a woman do the same thing? Why do you always have to make an issue out of something that can be handled by saying BYE?