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Why do you think it is that there are not many female members of CM?

Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by Mistress Lucy, Jul 26, 2017.

  1. The biggest benefit is a site that is fast and reliable, the second benefit is that it does a better job creating community with less "off topic" happening ... I was a paying member of an adult forum for 20 years and the pay side was a good community feel with couples ... the free side was the flash in the pan people.
     
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  2. My wife joined, left and will not return. There are so many other good and friendlier forums out there. CM just can't compete.
     
  3. I am new here.I found the site looking at full chastity belt reviews.I have been looking at posts to get a feel for things.I have seen some posts helping people with devices that's great. I have also seen threads asking a for women's response and someone kind of just wants to say something out of place.I think women would like to talk without having a man's comment.Maybe that's just how I feel.I started chastity with my wife because,I would never want any one else,but after losing 60 lbs I think she thought that is why I did it.On her birthday 5 years ago I gave her a key to a device I had bought and told her why I did.I believe that chastity has made me better than I could be without it.I can not explain how, it just makes me feel like I'm all hers,which is just where I want to be.
    You have many different reasons people use chastity,the device is only one part. the dynamic between Keyholders,girlfreinds,wives.dommes,masters are different and we should be sensitive to all and I think women need a place where they can talk to each other without unneeded comments.May not be my place to say this being new,but I love the diverse spectrum of the people here and I believe sharing others experiences makes us better,more excepting and respectful of everyone.I really wouldn't want things to change,maybe women should have there own thread and people let them be.I would never want to say something that would hurt someone or make them want to to leave.I think we are all here to share,let us do it with respect and let women have time to talk to each other.I don't know you all but, it great to feel accepted by so many people.Let us all think before we say something.We are all different and come together,let us really think before we speak.
     
  4. I echo that --perhaps the site will benefit from less judgmental input and more inclusion regarding new members and different "dynamics", as @Allen1987@Allen1987 points out. Newbies and long-time site participants alike, most likely all have traveled or will travel the same road in this chastity --or for the few of us here, KH/dom-- journey. I don't think this site was built to foster personal encounters, although if they do happen, that's wonderful. Old or young, fantasy or lifestyle, long-time CM member or not, I'm quite sure this site exists so that CM members can support each other along the way --and hopefully be respectful, and in turn more welcoming to women in the process. I know I'll enjoy that.
     
  5. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B
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    @tomf_22033@tomf_22033 the comment about the site being more of a community some years back is probably true but it's always easier to achieve this when the membership is relatively small. As the site has grown, it has lost that feeling. The question is... what do we want, a successful site that attracts more and more members or one that remains the same, small and friendly but gradually lessening in membership.
     
  6. Mistress Lucy
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    Go Ask Alice runs the 2nd biggest chastity group on fetlife, but she hardly ever moderates that group. I have messaged her a couple of times and she never replies.
     
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  7. Mistress B, I can see when things are small it is easier to be I guess closer but the more you have the broader the base.I think we really need to think before we say things that we may not understand. Relationships are important to everyone,we may not understand where they are coming from. I see so many different people and relationships, I like to learn and we can all do that together,without judgement I think people would be happy to be here if they feel that way.I would really hate to offend someone that I didn't know all the facts.I hope new people look at many posts like I have and realize we are just people with feelings and sometimes they get hurt.
    Hope we get closer together and not put up the walls that the rest of the world does.
     

  8. Likewise. My wife is very private about our sex life and would not want to be here discussing with other folk.

    Chastity, cross dressing are my kinks. I am lucky that she tries to understand, plays along and takes SOME pleasure.
     
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  9. To be honest Misstress Lucy I have always treat CM as just that a "Chastity as a sex game" forum or a forum for people into chastity games.
    I tend to gravitate towards the ALERTS and then WHATS NEW rather than a particular forum. Though you do have to pick a forum to Open a Thread in.

    Many of the other sites seem feature an overtone of Femdom and/or Sissydom (often allegedly forced) and or a number of people wishing to be penetrated anally by unfeasibly large objects liked it was a competition.(what kind of lube would you use with the statue of liberty) (huh! only one statue of liberty?) ... there is nothing wrong with any of those... and even guys who crave Gynarchy and want to link that with being punished for being a guy ...and of course in some cases a great deal of fantasy stuff... nothing wrong with that either ... and stuff that is clearly fantasy but passed off (not always at all well) as reality ... no harm in that unless you are trying to inform or be informed.... but each to their own ... you just have to look through and see what most interests yourself.. as for the other stuff.. well its always interesting to see what rocks other people's boats.. happy sailing.
     
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  10. IMHO, more women visit CM than is realized. Certainly the female membership is still very disproportionate. They probably lurk and observe, but don't engage and interact actively. If there was a way to make those ladies more comfortable, I think they would become members and enjoy the other members. Intrinsically obvious, but I thought I'd mention it.
     
  11. Mistress Lucy
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    Stopping talking about cum eating and leaking cocks would be an amazing start.
     
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  12. I'
    I've never talked about cum eating or leaking cocks
     
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  13. Mistress Lucy
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    You must be the only one, well done! :)
     
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  14. Thank you, Mistress Lucy
     
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  15. I don't think stopping is possible, but much less of it would be great. Every third post or so having these or cuckolding as topics gets old fast

    Again the wanna, wank fodder and fantasy bunch create a lot of this. So getting people to start more interesting topics would really help reduce it as a percentage. It was also help show topics that some of us really care about.
     
  16. I've given up on Fetlife for a few reasons I won't go into. So I'm not sure what she's done there over the last year or so.
    As of when I gave up on the site, as you said she was very active, now I wasn't saying she is the exact person, but rather someone like her who shares her passion. I've chatted with her and it's nice to see someone really energetic about their kinks. But more importantly, being someone who is intelligent, has cool things to talk about (her work, her home, her views on life, etc).

    Personally I'd love to see more women like that here. But I'd like to see more of their personal sides too, not just the kink. Hell, I'd like to see more of that from the regulars. Right now the only one I can think of who shares a little is Vinny. And that's mostly his past and experience.

    Well, I guess I also share a little of my past too, but not much. And my current is very boring right now. So gnat doesn't leave me with much to share.
     
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  17. Mistress Lucy
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    I did try writing a blog on here once, but it ended up being a general place for people to take digs at me.
     
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  18. maid_carrie
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  19. Could you name a couple of your favorites?

    Other than FetLife, which I’ve never been able to figure out in general, I’d be curious to see other chastity related sites.

    Thank you -
     
  20. I 100% agree with what you stated / do ... I do the same ... BUT ... not everyone is as open to ALL the various ways chastity is practiced and so they focus on one particular section of the forum.

    So using other forums that are huge as an example (no way you can keep up with every "new" post and must then pick only a few sections to follow) ... you then apply the question that was asked "Why do you think there are not many Female members?" ... which then leads to the question if we wanted to target a certain demographic / membership / audience what would be the best way to present a section of CM to them to encourage their participation ...

    and well ...

    I would say that if you separate the role play / fantasy from the lifestyle (obviously there will be cross over) that women maybe more inclined to at least visit the lifestyle section (taking into consideration what the women here have said and what my KH would be interested in). So it is not at all about removing / changing anything as a whole, it is purely about changing the way it is sectioned off so that those that are not open to everything can focus on the section that interests them, and that the sections make more sense from a point of the people using them not from the actual simple categorization of topics.
     
  21. Mistress B
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    I didn't realise that Vinny was female. :)
     
  22. Ha ha

    I'm pretty sure he's not ;-)

    I was just saying he's one of the few regulars who have shared their story.
     
  23. Mistress Lucy
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    Once or twice :)
     
  24. Yep...
     
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  25. eeee how horrible.