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Why do you think it is that there are not many female members of CM?

Discussion in 'The Pedestal' started by Mistress Lucy, Jul 26, 2017.

  1. Mistress Lucy
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    Mistress Lucy L-u-c-y
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    3 questions:

    1. Why do you think it is that there are not many female members of CM?

    2. Would you like there to be more female members?

    3. What do you think could be done to encourage more female members?
     
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  2. I guess it's because they get flooded with messages from men wanting them to lock them up and men pestering them in general .

    Yes I would love to see more female member active in this forum /site .

    Not sure how to attract more female members here because of what happens when they pop their head above the parapit and they get bombarded .
    I'm guessing that the whole chastity ideas come mainly from the "male in the relationship" and not many ladies have that at the top of their "wishlist/fantasies" and if they do read generic "fantasy fodder" on the net which would put a lot of ladies off even thinking about starting this because it looks like a lot of hard work .

    Just my humble opinion
     
    Joroincharge likes this.
  3. I feel like there's lots considering the content. Am I out to lunch?
     
  4. And I mean lots of female members when considering the non fantasy, active male group.
    I think when compared to the male fantasist and/or whack off artist contingent no one can catch em and we should just carry on.

    That said I'm always game to meet new people including ladies. Not sure at all how to bring them in. Maybe focus on dommes with no chastity experience (from fet etc) and invite them to check the place out. Would have to be done by the ladies here obviously as us guys going out there to recruit doesn't seem like the best course.
     
  5. No offence to fantasy folks and or whackers.
     
    Giveitup likes this.
  6. I would like to see more females on here. My wife/ Mistress and I are new to chastity play. She wishes there was an easier way for her to communicate with other females that's are into the same thing.
     
  7. 1. Because chastity is mostly a male fantasy, not a females. Hence more males than females.

    2. Yes...diversity would only help make topics and threads more interesting. It's not as interesting if it's always a bunch of guys that are locked up with the same views.

    3. Actually getting the keyholders from the lockees to join and participate is probably the most fruitful way. How? Well it might require some of the female members that are involved to reach out and try to establish an ongoing dialogue. Get them to communicate and make friends. Just saying hello and telling them to ask questions isn't doing it. I think most need encouragement and feel the comradery that most of the males already feel when they join.

    Another point is the minichat. Most of us use the phone to do this, and minichat is difficult at best on the phone. When she logs on, she is greeted with a bunch of banners of the people talking to her...most fairly forward and rude, and must close all of that out before going through the site. It's not much, but she doesn't want to have to go thru spam to check on me and read the threads. Maybe but a probationary time before able to mini chat or start conversations.

    My two cents
     
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  8. I think that would be a good idea
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  9. I think mostly because it's a male dominated dick festival and that cage size threads and urinating on men wearing frilly dresses and poo covered dildos is not every womans cup of tea.
     
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  10. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    I don't think many females know about male chastity as a thing.

    It's not in 50 shades and it's not in much else that females are known to access. You get the more BDSM related female fiction now but I am pretty sure most of it relates to spanking and bondage and the hunky hero is probably not in chastity. Until more females know about male chastity numbers will remain low.
     
  11. Having to wear leather and rubber in public and and prove yourself by minglng in a sex scene might not be where you wish to see yourself in future. Or perhaps leaving your husband at home while you are supposed to be out with some stud might not work for you either
     
  12. Rather than just wading in I’ve tried to give this very important question some constructive thought. This site is a forum after all, there must be space for a variety of views, and it is important that if there are changes the baby doesn’t get thrown out with the bath water.

    1. From what I have seen so far the forum is male dominated, and sometimes there is a locker room mentality, which isn’t particularly appealing to all females. Some members seem to spend all their time trying to outdo each other … number of decades without release, number of beatings to a pulp, extreme humiliation, etc. I am NOT for a moment suggesting this is wrong, I am quite broad minded, but if I was dipping my toe in this particular water for the first time, and thought “extreme chastity” was not only the norm, but indeed compulsory, I would be very scared. This lifestyle is in reality a very broad church, we are all different, but it’s not always apparent. Those of us at the softer end of the spectrum can get drowned out by the hardcore so tend not to speak out so much.

    2. Err … Yes!

    3. The issue is attracting new female members whilst not discouraging or losing existing members of either sex. Therefore any changes must surely be additions to the site rather than alterations to it. I assume this must be at no or minimal cost. A couple of suggestions. First, have a prominent FAQ page for females considering accepting the key holder role, possibly with links, which in a dispassionate way can set out pros and cons and give advice and help. Second have a key holder forum. This would probably need, at least initially, quite careful moderation, but it would be a safe space for discussion and help.
     
  13. I think like as has been mentioned above that the concept of chastity women being keyholders is not yet sufficiently in the mainstream and for the porn industry ...they can get more bucks for their bangs from any other kind of porn that shows people having orgasms not people preventing them.

    Watching some guy being milked would have little appeal the to wider majority of porn watchers as would the concept or sight of ruined orgasms or edging. Most porn feature males actually or faking it shooting copius amouts of cum everywhere in some of the most unrestrained ways imaginable not being slowly coaxed into dribbling out a spoonful and then being forced to consume it himself.

    I don't pretend to be sufficeintly priveledged to be able get completely inside the head of those women that do watch porn but Debbie Denies Dallas is not a title that I think would hold widespread appeal.

    As for women being kept in chastity I'm afraid the porn industry would present their poor actresses as frustrated nymphomaniacs that are having their mouths and anus abused by guys with unfeasibly large penises and little or no consideration for the recipient.

    I think the only way to really get male chastity and denial ionto the watch list of mainstream porn watchers is perhaps to show more guys in chastity being cuckolded then at least thay get all usual sex scenes with a twist. Whether that would actually be good for promoting the concept of male chastity and denial play I doubt very much.

    I do believe that awareness of male chastity and denial to stand a a chance of becoming just another harmless kink the mainstream associations with cross dressing, sissyfication fem-dom, FLRs and cuckoldry needs to held back initially. Away from the mainstream maybe through fem-dom and FLR stories written by and for women is a possible way forward.
     
  14. Mistress Lucy
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    Mistress Lucy L-u-c-y
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    You seem quite porn obsessed. I would guess that most wives here don't watch porn, so making chastity porn would not encourage them.
     
  15. Cuckold porn would not interest my Wife for one second. Neither would cruel heartless Domme humiliation porn. Porn where the guy is released form his cage by a loving partner, they have amazing sex where he is attentive to all of her needs and is only allowed to cum after she is fully sated, and then he is cleaned and locked up again, that might hit the spot.

    I would love to see more women join the Mansion, both as dominant and submissives. Having read the thread about the sorts of messages women have to put up with it is obvious that a major issue that needs to be sorted is the mini chat. I am no programmer but, if it could be done, blocking new members or members who do not participate in the main forums from interacting with female members would help.

    We also could do with an awareness campaign, although I am not sure where to place it. The issue would be attracting even more rude men only here for the fantasy.
     
  16. It is my understanding that men are more aroused by visual stimuli where women tend to be more aroused by the written word. This is my experience with my Wife. She is thoroughly enjoying me reading books to her that have extremely explicit scenes in them. She gets the double whammy of the story making her aroused, and my response to being made to read the sex scenes to her arousing her as well. Watching porn doesn't interest her in the slightest.
     
  17. My wife is my only reference for what women like or dislike, but I'll take a shot at this one.

    I don't think most women enjoy discussing sex, much less with strangers on the internet. I would guess for a lot of women it would rank right up there with public discussion of their menstrual cycles.

    The over-the-top content of some posts on here would give my wife nightmares. Guys dressed in maid outfits, or wearing poopy diapers, or being peed on would seem weird and/or disgusting to most women (and a lot of men, too). Inflicting pain on a man is the opposite of what most women aspire to.

    How to get more women on the site? That would mean getting more women interested in male chastity. And that would require removing the barriers that make it unappealing. Things like the aforementioned over-the-top stuff. Women need to know that male chastity can be about love and commitment. It can be about having a man put your needs first and not living out some bizarre fantasy. More down-to-earth content would help. Maybe more posts like, "My wife was tired from handling the kids all day and we just kissed and cuddled for a while and she didn't have 25 orgasms last night. And we both went to bed happy".
     
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  18. Well, last night I gave my Wife a foot soak while she watched an NCIS DVD, then we went upstairs and I gave her a foot massage, then I read to her. Neither of us had an orgasm and we both went to bed really happy! It was wonderful.
     
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  19. giggle.
     
  20. Feeling a bit unwanted, unliked from some of the comments in this thread, and whilst I appreciate they are not directly pointed at myself, I do feel they apply, and feel upset.

    This may well be my last post on this forum, whilst many will feel I've never contributed much and so no great deal, every little fringe or loose end that gets snipped off makes for a smaller and more narrow minded collective.

    I will remove my photos from the gallery in due course, clearly they have caused offence to some, and that was never my intention.
     
  21. There is a private forum for female keyholders. There has been for some time. It was presided over by two female moderators.
    Unfortunately having found out about this private forum, the male moderators protested at having no access to it.
    Once they were granted access the private female forum fell into disuse.
     
  22. Mistress Lucy is exactly right.
    I've never been interested in watching porn. I don't know any other women that do and I'm guessing that Lucy probably doesn't either?
     
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  23. 1. I think that while many of the previous responses are true, they are ONLY true when looking at the small niche that is Chastity. Think about it on a more general terms of what society accepts / expects ... it is OK with in reason for a man to be more open in society about sex ... it is not that way for a woman ... case in point a man wears a tiny bathing suit, he is only said to have bad wardrobe choices ... woman wears a tiny bikini she is "slutty" ... so right off the bat you have a much smaller percent (women to men) that are even going to consider talking about something sexual much less a sexual niche like chastity.

    2. Of course ... but you put a bunch of Alphas (man or woman) in the same cage and there are going to be problems.

    3. You have to take the Alpha problem out of the equation, and make it inviting to the beta female.

    Of course now everyone is like WTF ... but really do a poll ... I will bet all day that the vast majority of KH here (meaning the caged may be a member here but the KH may or may not be a member) are "traditional" male female roles in their daily life and that the KH only is leading the way when it comes to the caged not masturbating / orgasming. I will also bet that many of the "kinks" that the KH may do to the caged were put into play by the caged an over time the KH became comfortable and may now take a more active alpha position (at least in the sex arena).
     
  24. I don't think they were discussing you at all, and your photos are neatly tucked away with n the gallery, where someone would have to look for them. I think it was just about the in your face avatars.

    I still think this is a very open safe place.
     
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  25. I think more than anything it's due to here being a male dominated site.
    Furthermore, females joining are exposed to an onslaught of messages pertaining to the horniness of the sender, his cage dimensions and current lock up period and other numbers.
    On top of that, mostly women prefer to have some privacy to their sex life.
    And last but not least, perhaps they don't wish to be forced or bent into into the stereotypical male fantasy as a leather clad whip wielding dominatrix in performances and public fetish displays.
     
    softy, ChasteCharlie, 11lives and 3 others like this.