Why Do Men Sexually Assault Women?

I completely disagree. Men in general are not raised thinking that sexual assault is ok. Sexual assault is a serious crime and should be handled as such. If you look at the assaults or rape by statistics of actual events then the number of men who commit these crimes is actually pretty low compared to the population in whole. On average 321,500 sexual assaults each year in the US. Thats .00097% of the population as a whole. While 321,000 is a lot of people I dont think its an epidemic by any means and certainly not common practice for most men.

 

Women shouldn't ever have to feel like this. This is a sign of how much we have messed up the world we live in.

Woman should feel safe and reassured in there partners arms. They should feel protected but really they shouldn't need protection.

As men we should be making more effort to learn how to respect and support women so they never have to feel vulnerable like this again. I'd never want my partner to feel like this and would hope that they could trust me to look after them.

 

This is one of the most fascinating, if dispiriting, things I've ever read. You could write a thesis on this thread. And, sadly, I concur with @Mascara^Snake's conclusion. Society isn't ready yet.

But it will be, one day.

 

I am afraid it comes to their needs in significance and uncertainty mostly.
He needs to feel significant to someone else. And you can never know how the “event” will progress and end. Just like holding a gun to someone’s head.
It is sad, and unforgivable to treat a person like that. But I am afraid that this is what it all comes down to.

 

100% agree. Some ideologies and even religions unofficially sanction an inappropriate attitude to women. Blaming a victim of a rape because of the clothes she was wearing for example. Why any of those religion who promote poverty as a virtue do not blame a robbed millionaire for being provocative?

 

Alas I think not. I am sure it will get much worse. Apart from the dangers to us all for of being robbed or for men to be violently assaulted just for being there attacks on women are far more likely to be sexually motivated. It says nothing but negative things for the men that carry out sexually motivated assaults on women.

The answer in part may well be deterrent and stiffer penalties. Which might well reduce the number of such offences I sincerely believe it will add to the severity of those attacks that still take place.

If the penalty is too severe (please bear with me) much longer sentences or death sentences perhaps, then the perpetrator(s) have less cause to leave their victims alive.. the potential consequences of being prosecuted for murder would not be much more severe than the possible consequences of just being convicted for assault and rape. Its a fine line that I am grateful I do not have to draw.

The long term means by which the concurrence of sexually motivated attacks might be reduced lies with education of what is and what is not acceptable to all ... and not just women.

Such education of men as the potential perpetrators to be far more sensitive to the effects such attacks have on women and to indoctrinate them into the unacceptability of such actions needs to begin before the onset of puberty I think. The education of women to help them not put themselves potentially at risk (unfairness that they need this should not undervalue its worth) also needs to be... well in some cases it really does need to be, to happen at all, but in general it needs to be better.

Th expression ..she was asking for trouble or IT ... its concept is wrong on all levels but having said that unfair as it may seem its also true. (ever seen the Accused with Jodie Foster) Through their actions or lack of action, their choice of clothing and other factors women do put themselves at risk .. It should not be the case but it is. Women need to accept that, unfortunately, and start thinking more proactively in regard to their own safety.

Simple things also need to make a comeback. Chivalry sums it up in a word, but general decency is the same thing and a less outdated a concept\. When I was a teenager I would be excused for staying out hours later than allowed if I said I had been walking a girl home. It was just a guys job to ensure his date, or just his female friends got home safely. And job is the wrong word .. it was just simply what you did. It was expected and did not need to be spoken you just did it.

There are some things you can do. If you're walking down a quiet road or through somewhere quiet or remote at night and there is a woman on her own walking in the same direction don't try to overtake her you drop back a bit and or cross the road to the opposite side especially if she is walking towards you. The inconvenience to yourself is small and the threat reduction you create is gold dust to her.

If you see a woman be approached by a guy or guys make a point of walking close to her so you can be sure he sees you see him or them. the thought you have seen and might remember them might deter them from doing something untoward. Feeling braver then ask her if she is ok, pretend to know her and offer to walk with her ..whatever...use your imagination ffs.

It is wrong that a woman in a remote place or out on her own at night etc etc is putting herself at risk and of course it should not be the case. BUT.. it is an unfortunate reality ..one that will only get worse without major changes to the way young men in particular are taught to behave and what attitudes are acceptable. it will also get worse if women do not begin to realise being independent does not mean putting yourself at risk. Of course you should be able to wear what you want and go where you please with impunity.. but Its not impunity you have there .. that is naivety .

 

It absolutely tragic and very concerning how people have responded to this thread.

We can't keep denying the monster exists and we are responsible for any damage it causes.

We shouldn't be burying our head in the sand because "it isn't me" or "it doesn't affect me". Too many of us hide behind our fantasies.

We would all be horrified if someone we cared about was targetted. Our family or friends. If we don't solve the problem our daughters and granddaughters will become victims.

They deserve a much safer world to live in. I'd hate to become a father who has to arm there children to gaurentee there safety. The thought makes me sick yet we continue to walk blind.

 

Amen

 

Women are oppressed in ways most men never understand (including myself I'm sure). But let's try to be thoughtful and always advocate on behalf of women in whatever ways we can.

 

women aren't assaulted nearly as much as the news media would like to believe.there have been many of them decline to testify because they don't want to be charged with perjury.
have you ever noticed the mens name is given openly and most of the time the womens names aren't reported at all unless it gets to trial.
I love women,i adore women,i will do almost anything for a woman,BUT a woman that falsy accuses a man of assault should be thrown in prison and the key thrown away.

 

What are that "ways" ?

I understand that sexual assault deserves to be condemned but what are other "ways"?

In my country (Poland):

- Women live much more longer than men but are going to retire earlier

- 2/3 cases of divorces are initiated by women and in most of the cases their are allowed to keep children while males have to pay often colossal alimony

- Women do not do any of really hard jobs that are just "males job"( miner, electrician, most of physical workers)

- In my country woman can accuse man for anything while their are living together and she will never be
judged for it. I know case in which woman has a new lover and is living with him in ex-boyfriend's house just because he has restraining order. Even if he is guilty in my opinion his house should be still his property but law in Poland is adapted for women since 1989

- Women in Poland still complain about how bad male's are but most of my female friends are with bastards while good guys masturbate to the porn. Those women usually are interested in nice guys only after a few pregnancy with some bastard. This type of beta guy is going to be betrayed anyway.

- Even while about 15% of children are not their fathers there are huge protests of women when anyone talk about confirmation of paternity by mandatory DNA tests.

- Women in Poland are better educated than men and are earning good salaries especially in foreign corporations and services sector

Do I have to go on?

I agree that sexual assault is something shameful and even criminal. But the statement that women are oppressed is too much for me. Where are those areas in which women are so oppressed by men?

 

I will speak only about my experience as an American woman:
Every religion and sacred text has numerous passages saying that women are evil temptresses. As a Christian, the Bible tells me I should not preach, I must obey my husband. Many Christians blame Eve and therefore all women for bringing evil into the world. Most conservative Christians in USA to this day believe it's wrong for women to work. I hear them on the radio saying women should only be stay at home mothers who obey their husbands. In 2018.

My government is mostly male. There are only 20% women in state and federal Congress. We don't have fair representation even at the city level.

Here Viagra is free under health insurance, but many insurers don't cover women's birth control. The government argues every few years that insurance shouldn't even offer birth control to single women. In 2018.

My parents are feminists, but even as a child it was hard to find books/TV about girls. The only books/movies about girls were princesses who had to be rescued by the prince. Available toys for girls are 90% fashion Barbie or baby dolls. Boy's toys are cop, firefighter, car racing, building, pirate, etc. Boys have more options in toys.

My body: I never saw a woman with hair on her legs until I was 25. It is no normalized in TV and society that you must shave your legs, wear a bra, wear makeup. It is "unprofessional" not to wear heels and makeup to work. Makeup and shaving is not an 'option' here, it really is mandatory.

Women are really dissociated from their own natural bodies, I believe.

At 12 years old I had trouble buying clothes bc everything was too revealing, I wasn't comfortable. The designers create all the fashion options in this country, unless you make your own clothes. I wore baggy boys clothes for years bc everything in the girl's dept felt revealing.

In USA, only 1 of every 16 rapists goes to jail. So many women are too ashamed to report, and at trial the defense usually blames the woman. Most rapists get off. The FBI has determined only 1% of reports are false accusations.

TV and movies no not show women as heroes, or real people. Women are the "girlfriend" who supports but has no life of her own. You may say who cares about media? But it has a big effect on us. How do you imagine your future when everywhere you look, women grow up to be sexy, silent mothers??

Men reading this thread, I would like to know, how old were you when strange women started making sexual comments to you?

I was 13 when old men started saying sexual things to me. Men at my church. Men on the street. My married boss at work. And it hasn't stopped since then.

Does all this count as "oppression"? A lot of you will say no, these are superficial problems. That's fine for you to say bc you don't have to live them. I'm asking you to have compassion for those of us who do have to live them. Sexism is like a pebble in your shoe. Sure, I can walk anywhere and do anything, but I'm never comfortable bc of that damn pebble. That pebble is a constant reminder that my body does not belong to me, it exists to make men happy.

 

**First, I absolutely do not think (nor did I say) you were being too emotional. But arguments with strong emotional components are generally difficult for most people to feel comfortable rebutting, despite emotional content / context of course not lending any more weight to the actual argument. That’s all I meant. Sorry if that was unclear.**

In answer to your question, I’ll spare you my own bloviating and instead let other authors (mostly women, concerned mothers) help articulate:

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/suffer-the-children/201504/are-we-medicating-the-true-selves-boys?amp

http://www.intellectualtakeout.org/...d-society-and-thats-showing-their-friendships

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.sm...minised-and-boys-lose-out-20131121-2xxu4.html

http://ideas.time.com/2013/08/19/school-has-become-too-hostile-to-boys/

This last one I can’t personally vouch for, but it’s oft cited.

https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/27996.The_War_Against_Boys


I should reiterate that this issue is indeed a tangent to the OPs unanswerable question, and is in no way meant to explain away or excuse sexual assault. Just as i said though - if we want to take a hard look at “how we raise boys”, let’s be real about it.

 

I quoted the wrong post it looks like.

@Goddess Gaia - this was supposed to quote your question asking where boys are overmedicated and subject to overly feminized education systems. And the post where you mentioned me thinking you were being too emotional.

Sorry for the sloppy quote work.

 

I was not the one who asked how boys are overly medicated and feminized.

 

Thanks for an answer. Referring to your arguments:

1. If it comes to religion as I said before I agree in 100%.

2. Democratic elections today are free of any census known from the past (wealth, level of education). People vote for their representatives as they want and if 80% of politics in some political institutions are male it means that also significant part of women's population voted for them.

3. You are referring to some of the cultural conditions made by our grand grand fathers and mothers a lot of time ago that still are part of our society. Our grand grand mothers were willing to stay at home with kids while husband was at war or doing some other unpleasant things to support the family. I agree that we need to go out of that trap but in two (not one) directions.

4. Again You are referring to some social or cultural norms but in a different context and this norms affect both sexes.

5. I can not really relate to this.

6. Fashion imposes certain trends on both sexes. For me it's still difficult to find trousers and winter boots because I have a large shoe size.

7. That's a real problem in any country not only if it comes to rape. Many victims are afraid to report as they are afraid of "revenge".

8. Mainstream is about commercial and do not show women as a heroes because it does not sell. Much more women wants to be sexy and competes with other women on that area than for example as being an effective firefighter.

9. Saying sexual things to 13 years old boy or girl (it doesn't matter) is a crime.

 

Here is a basic truism. If something is happening to someone else, you don't really understand it. And, as you've seen, others are very well apt to misunderstand or prescribe the wrong remedies and solutions.

It's almost hard-wired, human nature to dismiss or minimize another's problem or situation -- mostly because we want to preserve our own self capital. Preserving this self capital often results in "blaming the victim."

Here in the US a deranged high school student in Santa Fee killed 10 people, one of whom was a girl who wouldn't date him. She was an actual, premeditated target of his. I'm really at a loss to understand how this high school girl could have better protected herself.

 

@Thatguyontheinternet Bloviating huh? I skimmed those articles. It seems that in the US many more kids are being diagnosed with ADHD, there's a conspiracy theory that it's big pharma pulling the strings etc.

I won't google any articles to fire back but I will say that one of my siblings had extreme ADHD in the 80s and I wish there was something he could have taken. He was off the wall and not very nice to be around. Someone really close to me has worked in education for years and the boys do fine. Apart from the ones who come from poor socio-economic backgrounds, and I remember them at school, they didn't do any work or give a sh*t. For me that's where change needs to happen.

I'm not going to derail this thread any further. Thanks for the reply.

 

I don't deny that some women are oppressed, assaulted, or even raped. The only thing I disagree with is how prevalent the problem is. The facts dont support that this is a big enough problem in society that all women should feel afraid. The statistics show its actually a very minor problem. And while we all have empathy for those affected and truly saddened by their occurrence I dont think society can prevent these crimes from happening anymore then we can prevent murder. It simply isn't possible. I get the feeling from some on this thread that this is a systemic societal problem with men. Its NOT. The people who commit these acts are criminals.

 

Thank you for sharing this........any men that are having a hard time believing your message should ask their wives, sisters, mothers about the frequency women experience abuse. I know you will be surprised and shocked.

 

In America, 1 out of 4 women has experienced some form of sexual violence.

90% of the perpetrators are men.

That's 25% of your female friends, 25% of the women in your family, the women at your job, at your church.

25% of us walk around with the memory of a Very Bad Day caused by a man.

 

Over their lifetime, 79 percent of men who were “made to penetrate” someone else (a form of rape, in the view of most researchers) reported female perpetrators. Likewise, most men who experienced sexual coercion and unwanted sexual contact had female perpetrators.

National Crime Victimization Survey(NCVS) data and found that 35 percent of male victims who experienced rape or sexual assault reported at least one female perpetrator.

Source: https://www.scientificamerican.com/...y-women-is-more-common-than-previously-known/

 

If you wish to discuss women attacking men, you are free to make a thread about that. This thread is about men attacking women.