Why do I love being denied erections and orgasms? It makes no sense. 2yrs ago I was enjoying plenty of orgasms and sex. Now…my last orgasm was over 6 months ago and last sex was just over 3 weeks ago, which also coincides with my last erection, and she says she wants to keep me caged, orgasm and erection free for many months without any release at all. My response? Erection attempt in her cage. OMG brain WTAF are you doing? I love having hardons and orgasms. Stupid brain. Inspired by something @Lazlo Toth said in another thread… Why do you do it?
I am happy to have been an inspiration! A million ways to answer this question and I look forward to hearing from many of you. So I will only say this to begin: I had some fascination with chastity since I was a very young boy. I would secretly wear a hard plastic athletic cup and I would enjoy my penis struggling to become erect but could not. That was the best part. I estimate I was about 8 years old when I discovered the joy of attempted erections limited by a plastic device! So why chastity? For some of us, it began very early.
Not sure if it is a Freudian thing as the conflict between mom who we love and has absolute control and our burgeoning sex drive (that we know we can't do with mom), or perhaps a result of evolutionary needs to please our partner, but I am 100% convinced that there is a deep subconscious pool in most (every?) men that can be tapped into for EMC. Sure the hormone thing explains why we actually enjoy staying denied, but the "attraction" starts earlier. Unlike @Lazlo Toth I never had any inkling towards chastity or denial previously, but now that I know more about it I can feel that pull even when the hormones are not in full swing. My point is: I think it is a real attraction and much stronger than some would hypothesize. The old "I am tired of being in control at work" or "it is the only way to stop my masturbation habit", may be very true for some at the surface level but I think that is only a logical explanation covering a non-comprehensible subconscious attraction.
If you're listening to that dude, well, that's your first mistake, lol !!! But seriously though, WTF are we doing? I mean, who the hell volunteers to lock his junk up? (Sorry @Headtrip, I know you didn't volunteer, but you're still enjoying the ride). Also unlike Lazlo, I didn't even know chastity devices existed until a couple of months ago, so I certainly didn't fantasize about them. I think I discovered them thru porn, probably because I looked for videos where it was the guy getting spanked and quite often they'd be in chastity. What I don't remember is, why seeing dudes in chastity made me start searching for more info on chastity. I think I got drawn in by the potential benefits, but what made me google to discover those benefits in the first place, that I can't remember. And now that we're here, I have demonstrated on several occasions that I have enough self-control to not go back to a life of wanking, so why do I need the cage? Well, because I like it, and I love the fact that my wife now has control of it. Now, as you've probably read, she's no dominatrix and that's perfectly fine with me, and if I was to ask for the key, she almost certainly would give it to me (at least for now, but down the road, who knows), but the point is, I don't ask for the key. There have been several times where there has been some discomfort where it would have been nice to remove the cage and adjust things a bit, or maybe even take an hour off, but I don't consider those worth going to her to ask for the key, so I struggle through, I find ways to adjust with it still on. And I still love it. I love feeling it there during the work day as a constant reminder that I'm in it pretty close to 24/7. So Jay, back to your question, WTF are we doing man???
This was just another kink to try and the cage another sex toy…..so I thought! Married over 30 years, always tons of sex, dabbled with different aspects of kinky things and saw cock cages on Extreme Restraints one day a couple years ago. I’ve tied my longest orgasm denial of 26 days today, my Queen assures me I will blow past my 28 day record this time. And I’m totally addicted to this feeling of total helplessness regarding anything in our sex life. Our “normal” way of making love has become oral for her, occasional piv, and I still question why I love this so much. The days of hour long fuck sessions, or the romantic candle lit sessions of multiple positions, putting off orgasm as long as possible, cumming 7-10 times a week or more……all gone, and I’m ok with it for some reason! Insanity!
There are great response on this, especially about the influence of hormones in the blog « evolving your man » and I thinkMoney episode 13 or 33 of the podcast « obedient love » deals with the topic within 10 minutes in a amazing way, straight to the point.
It feels good to be good. Being selfish makes me feel guilty. Being free to play desensitizes my dick so when she wants to play it's hard work and that doesn't make her feel good. There are so many reasons why we do this. It started with the realisation that she thought I took too long, perhaps blaming herself in some way. It was me not waiting. Everything else is a learning curve after that. Dealing with the emotional side of denial, when a part if me fights it sometimes is tough. I know I'm better off locked. The last couple of months unlocked proved that.