Why Are There No Mistresses - An Answer

Discussion in 'Personal ads - Looking for a keyholder or sub?' started by Mistress Jules, Jun 22, 2017.

  1. confused boy
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    confused boy New member

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    Thank You for Your kind words and for the suggested reading Mistress. i am afraid though i will never be able to introduce my wife to this. We have a totally different way of relating, "puppy love" i would say, hope the word is not banned from this thread :). i am doing this without her knowing and i feel awful, like i am cheating on her. Sorry if it seems off-topic to You, but there is a relation with Your post, since i know that she would not enjoy it and that's why i will not even ask.
     
  2. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    I would say as long as you are not taking away from her during your time here then you are not doing anything detrimental to your relationship. I wish you luck in your quest to find a common ground x
     
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  3. Dr.zee
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    Dr.zee Member

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    Couldn't agree more
     
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  4. Guy
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    Guy Master of a haven for congenial, kinky friends.

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    What he meant is that there are no cardboard cut-out Mistresses to match his limited little fantasies!

    The Mistresses here are people with all the complexity that implies.

    We all have to accept them for what they are!

    Not, as he does, claim they're not 'real Mistresses' if they don't match his template he expects them to!
     
  5. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    It's funny. Guys are so stupid. We want this and we want that. And we want it right away.
    Life doesn't work that way.

    I've introduced several women to the lifestyle. Being patient, being kind, and making it about her pleasure goes much further than one can imagine.the reality is that little things like making a woman smile or laugh will set you apart. From there being kind and a gentleman and earning her trust is the part guys grow bored with. But it's critical.

    Maybe I'm just lucky but I've yet to see a woman who didn't like being treated like a queen. Now this is different than a sex object, or a stereotypical image a guy wants. But rather someone who you make a real effort to adore and please. The thing is women also see right through us. So it has to sincerely be about her. If it's not, the guy goes down in flames. And yes, I've even done it when I've let my own pleasure take over.

    I guess we need to all spend a little time making women know that there are sincere men who who'll worship them and what the benefits are. We need to teach men to be less self centered and more caring about pleasing their woman and we'll see a shift speed up. It's happening but it's also a struggle as many don't like change.
     
  6. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    A little off topic, but I was very lucky. When I finally started my life over after my divorce and met someone I was at a crossroads.

    I had two options.
    1. Continue like I've always done, hiding who I am and what I like. Closing myself down emotionally and always keeping a partner at arms length. All the while continuing the status quo, keeping the relationship safe.
    2. Open myself up to someone, letting them know who I am and what I need. Risk that they won't accept me, or not into or be able to accept me or what I need to be happy.

    I told myself that I couldn't keep doing the same thing over and over and expect a different result. It worked out, not only did she accept who I am, it ended up being part of who she wanted to be. It wasn't over night and it isn't without compromise, but I know without finally letting someone in and risking everything, there would not have been the reward of happiness.
     
  7. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    You only live the once and life is so very short. Don't waste it.
     
  8. ginageenagina
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    ginageenagina Member

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    Despite the attitude some men, sissies, etc have toward women in the bedroom I feel some of that respect and submission doesn't seem to be there when it counts. The whole idea of a submissive "male" is and should be rooted from a greater respect for women than others have. Maybe I'm a little too idealistic given i'm not married and haven't been fortunate enough like some others here but I would imagine that the idea of being caged is to give the woman a sense of power and respect. It's pretty embarrassing and the most shameful situation I can think of is topping from the bottom and forcing fetishes upon someone.

    All that said, as someone who has had their inbox flooded with dick pics and 1 line msgs revolving around the idea of them putting something in me and describing the velocity at which they would like to put it in. All i can do is send my sympathies to the women here.

    >.>



    tl:dr boys are so gross sometimes.... le sigh..
     
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  9. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    #34 L-u-c-y, Jul 8, 2017
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2017
    Only by giving are you able to receive more than you already have.

    The trouble is a lot of males who call themselves submissive only want to take.
     
  10. ginageenagina
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    ginageenagina Member

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    Personally, over the years I've given alot of thought toward defining what submission really is, and moreover what my place is in regards to a significant other. No matter how i approach it it always comes down to love. This thing we do and life we lead isn't a replacement of a vanilla relationship but rather, imo, an extension of it. How could anyone just throw the freedom of their body so willingly over the internet. It's meaningless and, a woman has the freedom to do what she pleases but someone like "Insert label here" should understand that it's something special to be given away.. it should be always based off the love of the woman who cares for you.

    GAAAHHH!!! tears... and feels....
     
  11. frankie teardrop
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    frankie teardrop Long term member

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    There is so much incredible Mistress Wisdom to be found on CM, I feel like I've died and gone to heaven ... well, anyway, taken the day off work and gone to heaven at least! Long may our wonderful Mistresses reign over us.
     
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  12. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    THIS!!!! 1000 times over! I understand that some men want to be locked by a KH and don't have a significant other to do it for them, so they turn to the internet for help. I do agree with you though - it seems like it would not have the same impact or meaning as being in an actual live relationship or marriage with a KH who enjoys it.
     
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  13. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    I think we can all agree that male members of this site would far prefer to be locked by a loving real life partner who enjoys chastity. that's a given.

    However, women who are into chastity, pegging and strap-ons are very much the minority even here on this site, not the default.

    Unfortunately not many are going to find their ideal.
     
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  14. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    Yes, which is why I said that I understand why some men turn to online keyholding. If they want it or need it so badly, they are willing to overlook the fact that there isn't a "live" person to hold their key. And yes, women who are into these kinks are a minority even on this site. A woman having an open mind is often key to chastity, pegging and strap-on use. When my guy and I first started, this turning into something very real, especially in regards to full-time chastity and pegging wasn't something that had even seriously crossed our minds. It was only when we both started dabbling in various kinks here and there is when it really started to develop and over time, we have both come to enjoy and crave it very much. In my experience, women either embrace this lifestyle with open arms, hate it and their guy knows they hate it so they end up going online to find a KH that can fulfill their needs or the woman isn't into it but she tries and often fails to keep her guy satisfied. But anyway, don't want to hijack this thread since my response does not really pertain to the subject of the post. Just my $0.02:)
     
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  15. Guy
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    Guy Master of a haven for congenial, kinky friends.

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    Or man? But there has to be a relationship to give it meaning, which always has two sides.
     
  16. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    I think the op's original topic has long since been sorted out. As has he. :)
     
  17. jack-ie
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    Speaking as a self described sub male, anyone with any experience would know that Mistresses aren't just sitting on the edge of their seats waiting for some clod to appear. If we are fortunate enough to find a Strong Willed Lady, we should worship the ground She walks on not the other way around. I sometimes venture into a sissy chat room and it is extremely irritating when some poor dear hits on me before I've even had a chance to say hi, and of course, they are ignored. I'm sure the Mistresses tire of our flimsy advances as well and rightfully so.
     
  18. NauticalBear
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    NauticalBear Member

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    I

    I'd say that if a member of the site is running his "mouth" off with no common sense & a distinct lack of manners, he may be a male, but he's no gentleman.
     
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  19. Turma
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    Turma Long term member

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    Well use chastity as Control and the rest for fun
     
  20. Retiredinaz
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    Retiredinaz Active Member

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    That was very well stated. Keep the kink and fantasy related posts to their section of the forum and treat female guests and new members with respect.

    It is very important to maintain a dialog that is helpful and informative. In the long run everyone will benefit.
     
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  21. Retiredinaz
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    Retiredinaz Active Member

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    SO TRUE!
     
  22. Retiredinaz
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    Retiredinaz Active Member

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    I think that you are on topic and your post does pertain to the subjct! When a man meets a woman, she may, or may not like football, golf, NASCAR, motorcycles, fishing, etc. Likewise, he may not like yoga, gardening, cooking, women's pro boxing or tennis, etc.

    I think that it is agreed by most of the members here that 1. Chastity is not yet widely accepted as mainstream, 2. The Male to Female ratio is disproportionate 3. Online Keyholding is less desirable than a RT relationship, and 4. The site, by nature of the members discussions, can sometimes evolve into a fantasy clearinghouse.

    But THIS SITE, because of the diligent efforts of the moderators (IMHO), has developed a large membership base, many of whom are women. I do not believe that any other forum specifically addressing the topic of chastity has done as much. So it must be nurtured and continue to grow and most importantly set a goal to include more women in the discussion.

    The threads should not go from chastity to pegging, domination, cuckholding, forced feminization, etc in just two sentences. Soften it up, address one issue in a thorough manner at the front door and in the family room. CHASTITY.

    Don't take me wrong with regard to the delicacies that will most likely develop between mutually consenting adults. But keeps those discussions slightly more discrete in the upstairs bedroom or the basement dungeon.

    THEN, just maybe, with a better ratio of men to women, the chastity lifestyle will have a chance to become a reality for many couples to explore. JUST SAYIN.
     
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  23. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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    You are right, I have been approached by many males who have an interest in chastity and the first thing they tell me is they are NOT interested in being sissified, pegged etc. A lot of posters here seem to assume everyone is, and that can put others off.
     
  24. rebeccacd404
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    rebeccacd404 I adore being controlled

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    Very
     
  25. rebeccacd404
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    rebeccacd404 I adore being controlled

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    Just caught the end of this conversation.........I am looking for all those things!
     
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