Why Are There No Mistresses - An Answer

Discussion in 'Personal ads - Looking for a keyholder or sub?' started by Mistress Jules, Jun 22, 2017.

  1. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Picture the scene

    You have found Male Chastity, it really really turns you on, the thought of a female controlling your orgasms and telling you lock up your dick and serve her instead. Then you find out how great it is for females if they hold the keys because the guy will want to serve them and do things for them. I mean what female wouldn’t want a guy who is willing to go down on her at the drop of a hat?

    So why are there no Mistresses on the websites? Why is there not a queue of women desperate to lock up you men and enjoy your attentions when there are so many of you wanting locked up?

    Because it is no fun for the females.

    What benefit does a female get from telling a guy to lock up when he is not there physically?

    Oh, we have seen all the posts, you could go on cam to show her how much you appreciate her – I’m sorry, go on cam to do what? To edge so she can see how frustrated you are? To crawl around the floor and kiss some imaginary feet?

    You can send her emails. To tell her what, how fabulous she is, how horny you are, how frustrated you are?

    What is she doing whilst you are telling her all about your frustration? Laughing at you is probably the most common answer, apart from that, maybe you are breaking up the boredom. Getting sexually aroused is probably way down the list if it’s on the list at all. Not really anything to encourage a lady to give up the time and energy it takes to keep someone in chastity. Even before I turned professional I expected someone to acknowledge my efforts with a gift.

    Who would she be keeping in chastity? Most of the posts seeking a mistress are bare bones and very obviously some guy looking to fulfil his fantasy. Why would she want to lock someone that she knows nothing about?

    Now that we have covered that bit, how about behaviour on websites? There are so few women on these sites that when they appear they are normally inundated with messages asking them to lock up some unworthy male who is so horny and frustrated etc.

    The reason I got into this fetish is because it is supposed to be all about the female, I was lucky that I met some true friends on this site who treated me respectfully. So much so that I am engaged to one of them. So when you talk to a female on these sites, are you making it all about her or are you telling her how horny and frustrated you are or sending dick pics?

    Don’t make the mistake of thinking that a female coming on these sites is looking to hear about anything sexual when you first speak to them. They are for the most part curious about male chastity and have come to explore. If you treat them with respect they will probably come back, if you treat them like they are only here to fulfil your fantasy, they will leave.

    So in a nutshell gentlemen, if you are looking for someone to take control and lock you up, try treating them like a lady rather than a two bit whore and you may have a bit more luck.
     
  2. rep041268
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    rep041268 Member

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    This is 100% accurate!!
     
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  3. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    The link to this post should be sent as a reply to every idiot who sends a frantic lock me up message to any female member of the Mansion.
     
  4. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    I suppose I am a figment of people's imagination then.
     
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  5. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Ok, I think we get the nub of it now, you are looking to meet a real life woman in your area who wants to lock up your dick. You are on a website insulting a real life woman because you don't want online nonsense. Why are you here on a website then if you don't want anything online?

    I think you are in the wrong place and it would be better for you if you found yourself another fetish because male chastity normally requires a bit of respect and you are coming across as rude, arrogant and selfish.
     
  6. maid_carrie
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    What I don't understand is what made you think this was some sort of pickup joint where you just needed to say you were wanting a Mistress for an FLR and you would be inundated with offers.

    You peppered the site with the same message and disrespected all the other members of the site.

    Have a look around. Do you see this behaviour by anyone else?

    You also posted in a section that asked you to refrain from posting until you had settled in and got to know people.

    Those who do find a Mistress tend to be found by the Mistress as they take a liking to them through their site interaction over a period of time. Not be constant advertising.
     
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  7. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    Well done for supplying an example of exactly what @Mistress Jules was writing about.
     
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  8. thundar
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    thundar Member

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    G
    Go to FetLife and look up member L-u-c-y who is 24F mistress from UK. If you are deemed acceptable by her, she will pay much attention to you and run your life. Careful what you ask for
     
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  9. Ikneelbeforeher
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    Ikneelbeforeher Active member

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    My Goddess is online. I was locked for 600 days until recently, now I am locked for 1 month at a time with 2 days off a month. She has never once told me to send her a gift, but I do so because I want to contribute towards her happiness and make her smile and I want to be the best slave I can be. She sends me gifts as well, I am expecting one day. We talk every day about all kinds of things, but not sexual things or chastity.
     
  10. Ikneelbeforeher
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    Ikneelbeforeher Active member

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    When you first start seeing a women, if you tell her you will be the best boyfriend or husband in the world, but you will never ever send her a gift, do you think many women would be interested? Do "lifestyle" girlfriends or wifes exisit? I have seen lots of wives on here say they lock their husbands because they become more useful, they do more chores or give their wives more gifts, it's the same with anyone online, you need to make yourself useful to her and think about her happiness,.
     
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  11. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Long term member

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    being a women i may not comprehend your situation as fully as you do and maybe the same goes for you so let me explain how one women see it. part of being dominant is the pleasures of conquest. a man who comes to me and say i'm ready. do as you will to me leaves me wanting. i wanted a man who wanted to conquer me.strong and confident. a person who thought that i existed to please him. i am not looking for a xx or a xxxy. if anything i wanted to start with a xyyy. in that way when i am done training him the dramatic difference is unavoidable and that fills me with pride.
    a women needs to be wanted not needed. she wants his desire. the passion. i want to be emotional experiencing the same thing so very differently depending on the dominant hormone of the moment with no apologies.i want to feed off his energy to bring about the best sexual experiences possible. i want him to know that pleasing me is the path to his own pleasure. every time he touches he believes it will lead to a great sexual event. that way his entire heart and soul is in the simplest kiss. i want to be wet with every kiss. afterwards i love the feeling of my clit so engorged that every step feels great. when the morning good bye kiss leaves me needing to change my soaked underwear. that's the energy i want. when he comes home for lunch i ready to be serviced.
    someone who comes to me saying please lock me up and never let me out sound a lot like a defeat person that would never bring the kind of energy i want and need.
    i found an ex army ranger with black ops experience. he has this kind of confidence that comes from knowing he survived many impossible challenges. and the strength to keep secret what i need not know. when he worked for corporate america he had a 4.5 million dollar budget with hundreds of people under him. he maintained double digit increases for five straight years. then he started his own business which we still own. he also raises pigs and cattle. a 5000 sq ft garden. grapes, kiwis, fruit trees and flowerbeds everywhere. he was raise a perfect gentleman and is probably the smartest man i have ever met. i suppose that makes him the perfect man for the arm candy woman which i am not.
    he liked to play sexually and was/is a skilled lover but the last thing he would have ever wanted would be to surrender his penis to a cage. being anything but a man would and was met with total resistance. you see.......a real challenge. (for the record he is the first and only puck i have ever owned.) .... i would also like to point out like most women in a dominant position i knew i leaned this way but never acted upon it until i was ready(well at least i thought i was(which is where confidence lies)). come to find out latter all the signs were there in how i dealt with people i just didn't connect the dots. it becomes a process of self improvement. the better i get the better my puck becomes. 3to5 years later you look back and say look how far i've come, how far can i go in the next ten years. so you see we are not pros and though i may have more experience at being dominant than most(though maybe not) i never know enough and i come to here for new ideas. to talk to people who understand some of the ins and outs of a dominant. maybe get ready for the next 20 years. i would have never come to this site before i owned a puck. if i had i would not be seeking a sub. i would want to here from the dominant class. someone to help me grow long before i put it into practice. because of that my husband never had a chance. i realize that you might think you wish you could have that too but in my world because you want it your not a challenge. no would be the best answer........ you know the old joke " what does the masochist say to the sadist? beat me beat me! what does the sadist say back? NO...NO.."
    lastly you need to consider the safe sane and consensual camp of having the right to say no at every point or command vs non consensual consent. i am in the latter because that's as close to real as it gets for both of us. not a place one should go lightly. then think about where you are and what you are looking for. if the dominant is seeking a sub and they know what they are doing why would they want you. what do you have to offer them? what do they want from you. fantasy makes great wet dreams. fantasy made real can be a real night mare that you might survive. maybe your first question should be " could you please tell me what your looking for in a slave/sub?" you ask enough dominants and you might find the secret to how to get there. when that is asked of you honesty should be the first and last thing you say. everything else has little meaning and she will know exactly what she will do and all that you want will mean nothing. if it was any other way you would be cheated
    in the end had i been here when i was 21 and you asked me what i wanted in a sub, not immediately but at some point i would come to realize what a great service you had done me. had 3 others done the same i surely would have asked the last one what do you want? and he answer honesty no sugar please! yeahhhhh that would have been the icing on the cake. no 2 ways about it i would have known what i know now in half the time......my puck too
     
  12. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    There are two things I hate... intolerance of other people...and the Dutch.

    @richard mentioned irony but it never fails to amaze me when "subs" looking for a mistress, demand attention, or speak with an attitude or tone of superiority.

    It's funny that in normal life you would never be that familiar or forward with a stranger. You start off with an introduction, your interests, future interests, and inquire the same about the other. Online, people feel comfortable enough to show the other a picture of their genitals, tell them all their dirty thoughts, and demand attention...I can't think of one instance that was acceptable behavior with a stranger... it's like skipping all the normal foreplay and going right to fingering.

    Easy fella!
     
  13. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I stand corrected, I was talking in general. @Mistress Jules has had many run ins with gentlemen that were rude, been shown pictures, or demanded something or other.

    My mistress is a member here as well, sadly she keeps a pretty low profile due to all the negative attention.

    I will say however that you were a bit off putting with bashing the site. Did you really think ladies were lined up to accommodate your fetish? Mistresses are here, they have partners, some just demand respect, and some are just lurking in the shadows because every time they step out they are bombarded.
     
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  14. Thatgirl
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    Thatgirl Owner and Wife of Thatguyontheinternet.
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    Which is exactly why I keep my private chat to "offline". You wouldn't BELIEVE how many men approach you even when you have in your profile that you are in a relationship with your locked boy.
     
  15. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Long term member

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    hmmm of all the people in the world the dutch are the epitome of tolerance... daag.
     
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  16. confused boy
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    confused boy New member

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    Thank You Mistress Jules,
    I am just trying to find my way around and learn "the ropes" :) and Your suggestions are very valuable.
    I would never voluntarily say anything inappropriate to a Woman, that's why it's important to know what Your expectations are.
    Respectfully
    confused boy
     
  17. frankie teardrop
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    frankie teardrop Long term member

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    The Dutch make really nice Hot Chocolate.

    I'm not certain why there are not more Mistresses here, probably Ms. Amanda and Mistress Lucy are best able to answer that.

    The women here are all wonderful and helpful. Some identify as Mistresses, some don't. They seem quite approachable for any male who is respectful.

    Technically Mistress Lucy is still a member here. I just checked, she hasn't logged in for 19 weeks and 2 days. I know some miss her, like me. I think she would make a really good Moderator. All in favour?
     
  18. Guy
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    Guy Master of a haven for congenial, kinky friends.

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    I gather posts by "The Reading Puppy" have been deleted, probably because he was rude, arrogant and all the other things that inexperienced "do me" submissives are usually guilty of. He was that way with me too, in private correspondence. I don't get anything like the volume of mail of that kind that FemDom women get, but I get enough to appreciate just how they feel! I hope he may learn something from these exchanges, though I doubt it! Men like that rarely do! Well done people, anyway!
     
  19. lockit
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    lockit Advanced Member

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    Well that did not take long did. Hit the floor running
     
  20. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B

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    @Nicoftime what on earth have the Dutch done to upset you???? As for the puppy......... We are all hiding from him :)
     
  21. Jens
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    Jens CO-Owner of CM
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    Yes - the Puppy is no more. - still after clear warnings he kept going... So - end of story.
    Great thread BTW:)
     
  22. frankie teardrop
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    frankie teardrop Long term member

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    @lockit, It's just an opinion, I'm still a member here, nobody's banned me - yet - so I figure I'm entitled to express one since everybody else does too. My opinion is that the two Mistresses I mentioned - namely, Ms. Amanda and Mistress Lucy - were highly beneficial to CM. They've both gone. How come? The question Mistress Jules asked was 'Why are there no Mistresses?' The answer she presented is perfectly valid. All I'm hoping to do is add to it. It seems logical to ask the Mistresses who don't - or can't - come here any more what their reasons are. (Neither of them are hard to find if anyone seriously wants to know). I'm perfectly happy for everybody else to express their own opinions on the matter.

    I don't know if I hit the ground running or not but I do know I was respectful to everybody.
     
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  23. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    Thank you @confused boy I do hope you are enjoying the Mansion and have found the information it provides valuable.
     
  24. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    It was a line from an Austin powers movie, I sometimes forget not everyone has the same poor taste in movies that I do.:D
     
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  25. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    that man was a silly man. Thers lots of Mistresses here.
     
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