Where do I start...

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by NsToy, Aug 21, 2016.

Random Thread
  1. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    Yup. You are right. I’m certainly not perfect and make mistakes. Thank you for pointing that out as I would never have come to that realization by myself.
     
    Chaste J. likes this.
  2. Suewiang
    Offline

    Suewiang Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2020
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    719
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Maid
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    England
    Local Time:
    8:34 AM
    im glad you see it too as I kind of felt mean saying it but it’s true and we all need help at times as often we don’t see our own failings
     
    1mlockedup, Headtrip and StubHub like this.
  3. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    After she presented her 3 gifts to me Xmas eve and had me try them all own fir her inspection. Her first comment was that she liked steel over plastic we had played with before. She also said although these tubes were shorter than the cbx6000 it was obvious my size was coming up short again.

    The next few days trials yielded both metal cages were failures due to pretty raw chaffing. Only the resin tube showed any real use beyond a few hours.

    I stumbled across CM reading reviews after she said search for short or tiny tube chasity devices. A review for Nub Holy Trainer mentioned MM. Showed both too her as we looked at HT4 she said STEEL. The cleaning, hygiene of plastic or resin alone made better sense. "Your old CBX smelled foul despite daily washing " she had never commented on that years ago. That ended things until new year eve when I was told what my resolution was for 2021, find an steel cage that will safely work for extended time . She directed me to order the sizing rings so proper sizing . would be done before proceeding. Her last comments were MM jailbird or queens keep both looked nice and came be made small enough to fit my little package. My order was placed.

    She will be picking her choice of cage to put me in,believe she has that narrowed down. Based on her sizing comments and order to buy sizing rings, expect her to oversight or tell me the sizing specifications. She made it plain I would follow their sizing guide and verify they approve of measurements.

    Anxiously await the package and will be ring sizing immediately. My lady will direct me from there.
     
    Headtrip and NsToy like this.
  4. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    Last night I have my love a letter. I started off stating that if she didn't want to participate that I would no longer bring the subject up. In the letter I wrote out my thoughts on using chastity in our marriage. It was based around stopping me from masturbating. That the selfish act of my masturbation took away from my sexual drive toward her since my needs were being greedily taken care of by my actions.

    I apologized for my past actions and that I've had issues seperating fantasy from reality and that I would put no expectations upon her as that was NOT FAIR to her. I told her that I would love her no matter what decision she made and that I was very happy with our relationship. This was simply something that I needed to do to help make sure I was focused on taking care of her. As a mother of two young boys she frequently puts their needs above hers. I tell her all the time that she needs to focus more on herself but she always puts them first. So it is my responsibilty to take care of her needs and to not be a selfish husband.

    I place the letter in an envelop and placed it and the keys on her night stand. We were watching TV and went to bed. After getting in bed we started making out like we did when we first met. And like when we first met and started making out, no sex. Not because she didn't want to but because she is just finishing up with shark week and things still weren't a go for her. So we continued with the heavy petting. IT WAS AWESOME!

    After I asked if she had read the letter and she said she had. I ask if she wanted to talk about it and she just questioned my need to stop masturbating. In the past she has said she doesn't mind that I do. I told her what I said above, that when I mastubate it curbs my sexual desires and that wasn't fair to her and was selfish of me. It was the end of the converstaiton and the keys are no where to be found.

    That night my head was swimming with fantasies that I will keep to myself and not pressure her with. I'm not going to screw this up again. I think I'm finally on the right path. Only took me a few tries. Thankfully my wife is a patient and loving woman.
     
    spider203, Iron78 and Suewiang like this.
  5. Suewiang
    Offline

    Suewiang Long term member

    Joined:
    Dec 20, 2020
    Messages:
    356
    Likes Received:
    719
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Maid
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    England
    Local Time:
    8:34 AM
    lovely to read
     
    NsToy likes this.
  6. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    My Wife never has gotten interested in oral, in our younger life she occasionally allowed me to attend her. I feel she fought to not let herself enjoy it. I think she felt it wrong and nasty. On the times she relaxed i feel felt the pleasure but immediately stopped me. Never let me continue for a possible 2nd orgasim. She never commented she climaxed during oral but a few times her body and fluids certainly made me feel I pleasured her . She quickly told not to come close till I washed face and brushed teeth. She did not want her scents shared.

    PIV was good but by her on comments for her part she could easily get by without it. It was mostly for my needs and wants.

    She agreed it was nice at times but would prefer a nice cuddle her style not mine. Her meaning my cuddle was just foreplay to PIV.

    As we matured she learned to say NO more often and with resolve. I was blind to what I was doing. Brainwashed and make hormones made me think I was doing things right and pleasant for her. As we aged and piece by piece she dissolved my illusions of having pleased and satisfied her.

    Certainly today with physical changes in me some from medication side effects and general aging factors . My mission in life is to deliver a different mate as I approach retirement that will please and delight her by whatever she desires. We have 39 years married and 4 years dating in school. We were virgins and never have been unfaithful.i hope to become the person I need to be to satisfy her.
     
  7. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    Had a ball slip past the ring this morning. It was going so well to. Kind of bummed. Changed rings, same size but one that curved. Hopefully this ring doesn't allow a slip to happen.
     
  8. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    Last night had some glorious PIV. My love told me not to cum but I couldn’t help it. She felt so warm and good. Her movements just drew it right out of me. I was helpless to stop. There won’t be any kind of punishment that I’m aware of.
     
  9. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    Ergonomic seem to be better at least for me.
     
  10. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    Hopefully you do better for her next time. At this point unlikely PIV in my future probably would only be seconds for me regardless of consequences. It's a wonderful dream.
     
  11. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    Thankfully she came, she just wanted more. I don't blame her.
     
  12. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    Well hopefully you filled in with alternative efforts. Providing she likes them.
     
  13. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    She does not care for alternatives to PIV, at least not at this point. When she wants me inside, she wants ME inside and not a toy.
     
    Iron78 likes this.
  14. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    Going to have to work on your delaying tactic.
     
  15. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    Trust me, I was trying.
     
  16. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    Maybe desensitizing creme and condoms? If she is willing. Could maybe help
     
  17. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    We shall see. I might bring up that subject at the correct time.
     
  18. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    Good luck. Hopefully she will like the idea.
     
    NsToy likes this.
  19. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    I did speak with her about it and she wasn't concerned. She had an orgasm but wished for more, as I wished I could have given her. She racked it up to us not having much sex lately and me no longer able to jerk off.

    I wonder if it had to do with lubrication. Many times we don't require any kind of lubrication, but the last couple of times I lubed up and easily slid right in. Who knows. I don't ever say never, but she will never ask be to put on a strap on and have sex that way. That would be frustrating and hot but my wife just isn't into toys. I guess if it becomes more of an issue we can try the condom and desinsitizing cream route.
     
  20. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    I have a deal with my wife/KH. I want to purchase a new camera lens that is somewhat expensive. Part of our agreement is I will be locked until the end of March or whatever she decides. So I guess I'll be locked around 90 days this time around. Should be interesting.
     
  21. anasyrma
    Offline

    anasyrma Long term member

    Joined:
    Oct 4, 2010
    Messages:
    580
    Likes Received:
    1,625
    Trophy Points:
    123
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Engineer
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Virginia outside Washington, DC
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    I recommend using a condom if not also numbing cream. My wife has rarely ever let me inside her without a condom and it definitely reduces the stimulation to the point that I find orgasm difficult to achieve. Lately we have hardly had any sex at all.
     
    NsToy likes this.
  22. StubHub
    Offline

    StubHub Long term member

    Joined:
    Jan 4, 2021
    Messages:
    2,023
    Likes Received:
    1,606
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Central iowa
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    Sounds like you can work it out. My Wife never took up to toys.
     
  23. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    27 days in to my current lock up and I'm fighting the bad feelings/thoughts of wanting attention but not getting it. I need to remain focused on work/chores etc. As soon as I have downtime my mind begins to wander.
     
  24. NsToy
    Offline

    NsToy Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 11, 2016
    Messages:
    840
    Likes Received:
    686
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Florida, US
    Local Time:
    4:34 AM
    This weekend was magical!

    From an early age I've always had a self bondage kink. I don't do it that frequently but I get the itch every now and then. Well, this weekend I really had the itch so I asked the wife if she would mind if I tied myself to the bed on Saturday night. I told her it would be up to her if she wanted to play or anything and she giggled at me and said yes.

    So Saturday night came and I got all my stuff ready. I wrote her a letter and left it on her pillow. I wrote to her how much it means to me that she is open to doing this with me. I also explained that I had my noice cancelling ear buds in and a blindfold so I wouldn't know if she was in the room or not. I laid out some of our toys in case she wanted to participate.

    Boy did she ever participate. A good hour of teasing and 'torturing' me with our various toys. Feather, small flogger, riding crop, Wartenberg wheel, etc. All while caged. I kept hoping she would remove the cage, if for anything some relief from it but no, I stayed caged the whole time. The one thing I wanted most of all from her was a kiss but that wasn't to be until the end when she was done. It was masturful and such and enjoyable evening. It is shark week currently and even though I would willingly pleasure her, she is not one to allow that but damn I wish she had sat on my face.

    On Sunday she wasn't feeling her best as a mom or an adult. Having feelings of self doubt saying that before kids she could do tasks without an issue or focus better. Also feeling like she isn't an awesome mom. I tried to quell those doubts in herself but that it better said than done at times. So I told her I didn't want to burden her futher if she was feeling overwhealmed and as if she wanted to unlock me and put off chastity to another time. She flat out said NO, like I was crazy to even mentioning it! I melted right then and there. I love this woman so much!!! My heart was singing the rest of the day.

    I might be entering the "be careful what you wish for" category. We shall see.
     
    homebody, Iron78 and Nicoftime like this.
  25. Nicoftime
    Offline

    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

    Joined:
    May 24, 2016
    Messages:
    5,233
    Likes Received:
    14,074
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Railroad
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    South of Lacrosse Wisconsin
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    3:34 AM
    Yeah, the whole “I may have created a monster” question popped up fairly quickly for me. I believe it was her wanting me pierced and all the keys lol
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice