When you've found the OBEDIENT sub:

Discussion in 'Online chastity and self locking' started by Mistress Luscinia, Mar 11, 2018.

  1. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

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    I have had some interesting experiences being an online/virtual experiences.
    Some good. Some bad. Some neither.
    There are two things I've learned two major things:
    1. I absolutely dislike Time Wasters.
    2. An obedient sub is a treasure.

    Time wasters:
    What is a Time Waster? This is someone that communicates with you, telling you they want what you want, when I actuality they just want pleasure for themselves. Yes, you meet these people in real life as well. They exist everywhere. However, for the sake of this website, I will stick to this. I am sure you have either already come across a TW or will in the future.
    The first time I encountered a TW....I had no idea that's what he was. We communicated for a few days about The Rules, the devices and toys he had and needed, our schedules, all the particulars.
    Once we were about to begin, he wrote me to say he changed his mind. I honestly don't know the reason. At that point it didn't matter, I was not happy that I spent all that time communicating back and forth making arrangements, just to receive that correspondence.
    I've had other TW communicate with me, but they were easier to spot after that.

    Since, then, I have implemented a new screening process to weed out the TWs as best as I can.
    My process:
    - I send them my expectations, rules, and an application that they must fill out and return to me.
    - They must read and agree to my expectations and rules.
    - I review their submitted application. The application scares off most TWs, because it is lengthy.
    - If I feel the applicant is compatible with my methods and is serious about beginning a long term arrangement, then we reach and agreement as to a start date. Hopefully, at that time, we begin our arrangement.

    This weeds out most TWs. However, some still slip through.

    Now for the plus, the reason for this thread, obedient subs.
    Even with the downside of TWs, there is the upside of the obedient.
    I feel I've made it very clear that I am pleased by having control. So what better pleases me than an obedient sub?
    I have indeed claimed ownership recently of an obedient sub. He is not one I met on this site. But, nevertheless, he has proven to be quite...a lucky find.

    It can be quite the task to find a compatible sub.
    It isn't always easy.
    But, I feel the process I have required will make it easier to find the obedient subs that will bring something new, and pleasing to me.

    I have been asked numerous times by unowned subs how to find a KeyHolder. Whether it is online or in real life.
    There is not a master plan or technique. But I will say, stay true to what you are looking for, or else you will not get out of the arrangement what you're truly needing and searching for.
    It's one thing to try new things to see if you like them.
    It is another to try and change to fit someone else's desires. That is in life and in chastity.

    M L
     
  2. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    thought provoking, thank you, Miss.
     
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  3. winstonmacgregor
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    Do you just know almost instantly when you have a true obedient sub in front of you? Sort of an instinct or extra sense? For the male side of it, it kind of seems counter to the dynamic for the male to pick a dominant Female for themselves. Just be you and she will find you. That sort of thing.
     
  4. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

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    I do not always instantly know. I have had some appear to be a true obedient, and then turn out not to be.

    I want to clarify, just because they turn out to be a TW to me, that does not mean that it was intentional on their part.
    There have been times where someone seemed they would make a wonderful obedient sub, but when we are about to begin our arrangement, they back out. This can happen with new subs that want to begin chastity, but maybe get "cold feet". Which is understandable. And, although that wastes my time, I don't hold anger towards them. However, I usually refrain from communicating with them any longer. Although I won't hold a grudge towards them, I also will not do the back-and-forth with them. Again, waste of my time.

    You either want me to hold your key, or you don't.
    Now I don't mind answering questions for new subs, KH's, or couples that are just getting into this lifestyle. But I do that with the understanding and knowledge of that is what it is.
    That is completely different than being under the impression that I will be holding someone's key, having them fill out my application, selecting them, going through my expectations, and going through the rules of the arrangement (which takes a great deal of time to tweak), just to have them say never mind.

    Now, with all that being said, I have also had those ABSOLUTE TWs that know they have no intention of having me hold their key, and they just want a "quick fix". And once they've gotten it, they vanish. This is why I created my "process":
    - Read my expectations, and agree
    - Fill out my application
    - Then we go over the arrangement

    And with those requirements needing to be met PRIOR to communicating with each other, it filters out MOST of the TWs.

    I agree @winstonmacgregor. I prefer a sub to be true to who they are so there is more of a chance that the arrangement to begin will last. I don't want a sub telling me what they think I want to hear in order to gain my ownership. That will not last, and wastes time for everyone.
     
  5. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Unfortunately as with any site like this there will be guys for whom the fantasy of having a KH and going through the preliminaries is as far as they are prepared to go. Which is fine as long as they are open about what they are doing and not leading someone up the garden path.

    Those kind of time wasters are just assholes and generally we don't need them at all and we certainly do not want them on CM.

    Sorry you met someone that is a pathetic embarrassment to himself and all genuine people that are into TTTWD.
     
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  6. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

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    This is true. It is a fact of this lifestyle. I do feel it's important to make new KHs aware of this so they are not blindsided. And again, sometimes it happens by accident.

    I honestly had someone that wanted me as their KH but met one locally to them, so they decided to go that route. Which is perfectly fine. And I had no anger towards him for it. He just wanted more than I could provide (being in another state), so he found it.

    Thank you. I learned from it, and hopefully can help others because of my experience.
     
  7. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Thats the best possible way you can look it for yourself. Which doesn't stop your time waster being a pathetic arsehole.
     
  8. Turma
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    Turma Active Member

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    Clear message the rest is always a question of disussion :)
     
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  9. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    Thanks Mistress Luscinia for opening this thread.
    Time wasters are a real nuisance, and they come in many styles, some are rather easy to pinpoint, others disguise so well that its a hassle how they waste our time and efforts.
    I always try to make myself clear that I'm not fond of kinky behavior, for me chasting it is not a sex game nor a passing fad.
    What I have learned about chasting and have mixed that with my earlier apprentice of dealing with sexual energies, I came to believe that the reproductive male organ shall be used only for reproduction, otherwise the energy the body has used for producing semen will be lost. Chasting as of my view is for long-term, a way of guiding males into another comprehension of consciousness, refraining the more animalistic aspects of maleness and upbringing them like a child that has to develop the innermost energy that is by default buried inside their sacrum and wasted on masturbation.
    In my ideal world, pubescent boys would be locked up by their mothers, who would hold the keys until a girl would take the boy and have the key.
    There would be a public ceremony to lock the boys and the on the future marriage the mother would pass the key to the future wife, the male knelt down and making a promise to be the servant for life of his wife.
    This leads us to widespread male chastity, the way of storing the necessary energy to achieve consciousness. Each enlightened awakened being will influence all people around and in a sufficient period of time all the world will benefit and will be each time more a better place to live. In my view that will lead to foster the equality of genres, bringing males to the same level as now only attained by females.
    But I'm digressing, we were talking about TW. Most TW males are like pampered ungrown children, looking for the caring sexualized "mother" that they yearn for, full of arrogance on their unfulfilled needs, trying to topping from the bottom. When we provide to them our requisites saying: "You will not watch porn anymore, you will not masturbate, you will be chasted for how long I want and you will have no word about it", they chicken out and disappear.
    Those waste our time and efforts, but I always have a tiny hope that our conversation can be a starting point for their journey into a life of full chastity, maybe I'm naive about that, but there is always a little seed that can remain inside.
     
  10. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Well-Known Member

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    @Joan.t , thank you very much for this.

    What you write is undoubtedly a challenge for most (all?) men but I read your words and I cannot argue with them. The society you evoke would be a better, fairer, more elightened one.
     
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  11. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Joan.t ,
    Whilst I feel do understand what you said and now I think I could perhaps conceive myself be willing to live in such a society I an however sure that in reality there are too many pros and cons for it to be workable.

    Do consider that had all the males on this site been born into such a society: Would they have developed into the people they are today? Also how would the same conditions have affected any of the women?

    When all said and done all devices are worn with the wearers consent. I do feel that had I been compelled to wear one I would have spent my life either rebelling against it or refusing it altogether from the start. The motivations that incline me towards being locked by and for the pleasure of someone I care about would in all likelihood never have developed.

    Its not unrelated to remind ourselves: Some people forget sometimes that not all wearers are what most people would identify as submissive males. I for one acknowledge that in regard to my present partner I have through being locked and denied developed some submissive tendencies that we are currently exploring. In my case being a wearer preceded this new found trait in myself many years after I first developed a need or even a willingness to be denied
     
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  12. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    My dear filltee
    A dream dreamed alone is just a dream, a dream only comes to reality when is shared by many.
    I know what you are talking about andIi agree with you.
    Ideal words are not always the best way to go, many writers had dealt with that notion more we humble mortals could do - take, for instance, Orwell's 1984,or Huxley's Brave New World.
    Enough said, all must be dealt with consent and love.
     
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  13. rebeccacd404
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    rebeccacd404 2018 is going to be a year of chastity and denial!

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    I can only imagine how lucky anyone in your "care" would be. You do appear to be caring and compassionate and have the long term benefit of your sub in your heart......
     
  14. Mistress Luscinia
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    Mistress Luscinia Well-Known Member

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    I wanted to take a minute and say goodbye to you all. I will no longer be frequenting CM.

    I will still be on FL. Feel free to Friend Request/Follow me there if you're on that site.

    Bye to my friends and followers on here. I wish you the best of luck with all areas that you are exploring.

    Bye.

    M L
     
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  15. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Well-Known Member

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    Please reconsider. The people are the ones that make a site great. Your loss is profound. A very sad lady here.
     
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  16. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    Mandynjack words are my words, we will be missing you and all your most cherished contributions to this site.
     
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  17. Londonmale
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    Londonmale Active Member

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    Mistress Luscinia, I am sad that you're leaving but if the site no longer fits. Thank you for all the guidance and your thoughts you given here.
     
  18. Joan.t
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    Joan.t Well-Known Member

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    Rephrasing a miss:
    Mandynjack words are my words, we will be missing Mistress Luscinia and all her most cherished contributions to this site.
     
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  19. tdk34
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    tdk34 choreboy

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    Missing you, you were such a great energy here, and so sexy. I'm sure your good and amazing what ever you doing.
     
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