When your KH is being a bitch

What is she doing to deserve such a label?

 

Your not a slave. Call her on it. If the cage is something she really likes, hold taking it off over her head. If the cage is something you crave you are screwed.

 

I feel your frustration. I had been with my ex for years and we would play and then out of no where she had pms. And would be so unattractive and thankfully I wasn’t married because I saw the pattern early on and adapted to this and had a few different mistresses that I had on the side for times like this. Noticed I said my ex. That’s my advice

 

It really depends on your dynamic. In general though i would say suck it up. Unless the relationship becomes toxic.

 

I am glad you can vent about it here in this forum.

 

The situation seems to be; a bit of kink layered onto a relationship, that seems to be struggling.

Since we do not know the depth of the kink, or the nature of the relationship, it is very difficult to assess the situation and suggest a course of action.

It seems as if the kink needs to stop, and communication needs to start.

My best wishes for you to find a solution, or the start of one.

 

Read this twice is my advice

 

Has it been like this a long time or are you both rubbing each up the wrong way all stuck in the house together? We’re both struggling with the children - they don’t want to do ANY school work (big tantrums), missing there friends and generally but slowly deteriorating behaviour. It makes us less tolerant and grumpy with each other.

 

That wonderful confidence that can make my GF so sexy can sometimes turn ugly (and dont we all have our moments?). I agree with everyone that communication is paramount. When my GF becomes a total B, and after I reflect if I have done everything possible to help, I call her on it and remind her that the cage can affect her head just as much as mine. This usually gets her attention so we can work things out

 

I agree with @Xileh - it doesn't sound like the kink is the problem. Being cooped up together brings out the best and the worst in people and you need to give each other some head space. If she goes out, for example, don't bother about what time she'll be home: just say 'enjoy yourself' and let it be. Will the world end if she's home by 5:30 instead of 5? (and I'm married to a very A-type person so I know about pet peeves and such) Is this really worth having a bitchfest over? At the moment, we should pick our battles carefully since we'll have to share close quarters with the winner/loser.

 

my madam is a stickler for being punctual, however it is a case of do as I say, not as I do. But it was her being a bitch that made me fall in love with her!

 

Double standards, mood swings...I thought you said you have been married for ten years!

Believe it or not, her being your kh has nothing to do with either problem...that is unless it’s affecting her willingness to unlock you. A partner shutting things down when upset is not new, the only thing different is your ability to take matter in your own hands while she gets over it.

Which leads us to the real issue. I don’t want my junk locked up when she’s upset. You may think, she’s wrong, it’s her fault, it’s not fair, in a FLR with enforced chastity...it doesn’t matter. You can still argue, be upset, and still get your point across, you will just have to wait for her to be in the mood again before you get to play.

Ive had this issue, but eventually I realized my pouting about how unfair it was that I was the one that was wronged and I’m still wearing my cage, wasn’t anything more than trying to regain the upper hand. Power. It’s what we cling to it. They get upset and shut everything down, we counterpunch with “oh yeah? I’ll just wait you out, jack off when I feel like it”.

Good luck and ride out the storm...in your cage, lol!

 

In chastity my Wife can sometimes give me a really hard time; but I just take it. That's why she's got me in chastity.

 

Be kind.

 

The title of the threat grates me quite a bit. Being late and not calling to report to her sub (???) is not being a bitch. Maybe the sub thinks he's in charge? Is it one of those 'dominate me or else' kind of relationships?

 

Agreed.

 

It seems ridiculous, and it sounds quite disrespectful towards her, actually.

 

I suspect there is more going on here then meets the eye.

 

...and, as one thinks on it, in what circumstance is this ever not true?

 

Leopold would be so proud...

 

Agreed.

 

So... how is it going? Both finding your way?

 

My wife and I were into BDSM before we moved into chastity so we have an agreement on how to work differences out. To be honest, my wife rarely screws up, me on the other hand can use that as my middle name. So we have a rule, Friday night is punishment night.

Years ago during BDSM, I discovered I enjoyed my wife being a Dom and she felt somewhat comfortable in the role. However, she could not understand why someone would like to be whipped or flogged and had severe reservations on causing me pain. We had this arrangement that Friday nights would be our punishment night because Saturdays we would be out for dinner or entertaining one of her clients. We went down into our dungeon and she bound me to the cross and started giving me a few swacks with a flogger while she was drinking wine. Of course walking around me and teasing me while she was drinking was part of the tease when the phone rang. In a few minutes the color from her face drained and when she hung up she asked me if there were and messages. I forgot to pass a message on and the end result it costed her some money in a contract. I guess it was a combination of the anger and the drink and her guard was down and she picked up the flogger and really whipped me 7 time across the ass and then a few times on the back. I danced like never before and had tears coming down my face.

Since that day, she has no problem laying into me with a flogger and now we have some boundaries. Punishment nights is still Friday, but if she is the one who screwed up or hers was worse than mine there is no punishment. If I screwed up or if one of her clients really pissed her off she takes it out on me. We do have the odd tiff every now and then during the week, but work thru them and even apologize to each other and score it on the tally sheet. When Friday comes, the tally sheet determine what and if any punishment is doled out.

The only double standard, I never get to whip her.....