When I'm bad I'm Better

Thank you Mistress, I aim to please and appreciate the early Christmas gift you emailed me. Not really a lot to journal about today, Hope all have a good evening, I am off to find a bike before the 25th!

 

First, Merry Christmas, Happy Chanukah or Happy Holidays! Though I missed my Mistress in chat the other day I did get a present of sorts. My partner now is aware of my chastity and the fact that I am not able to access a key. Long story short she saw me coming out of the shower and remarked that I must have mailed the key off again, I stayed silent as I was a little embarrassed and quiet at the time. A little later I told her that I did mail off the key but it went to another and she made no comment. This evening she made several jokes about my locked thing and seemed very pleased with the turn of events. I feel very lucky and special indeed for Mistress Michelle to take me on and am looking forward to an exciting 2010 as her committed sissy.

 

Been a few days since I have posted and my Mistress asked that I keep this updated, Nothing really exciting to report. I am a little disappointed that I have missed several opportunities to chat with Mistress Michelle. I am still trying to figure out alternate arrangements to the Mansion’s chat feature. Sometimes computers make me feel dumb, usually when I figure a program out I look back on why I had trouble installing / operating and see my mistakes, oh well, pretty steep learning curve here.

I am still locked and at 20 days have blown away all of my old records. Though I am not new to this it was always about a week or so and then a release and well you know
Not sure how much longer I can go but am willing to follow what ever directions that Mistress Michelle gives. The frustration is pretty intense yet the feeling that I am under her control makes up for it. Feel very special and lucky to be under her care. Hope everyone has a safe and chaste new year!

 

Mistress Thank you for the kind words tonight. I really feel so much better after talking to you. I have no idea of what the "surprise” is but the anticipation is palpable. Hope that you have a relaxing and safe new years, hope that 2010 will see me gaining in your trust as a possession

 

Mistress Michelle gave me the best new years gift! I have my key today! I do have some work to do today and is a little hard to concentrate as all I can think about is playing with her little thing. I have a real love hate relationship with chastity, on hand I love the whole aspect of submission and being controlled. While on the other every morning is a real b—ch trying to get my mind off where it wanders all night. Just very glad to have been accepted by Mistress and looking forward to a new years to remember.

 

Whew, what a weekend. Mistress Michelle granted me a release for New Years (Thanks again) and I coupled that with getting fully femmed up for the first time in months. I shaved off my beard and moustache and put on a darling little red plaid skirt with a simple white blouse and black heels over this I wore really cute red wool coat with a black border trim. After several trips to “get ice” around the motel I got my courage up and went and bought a bottle of rum at a late night package store, had a few admiring (I hope?) glances from the other customers and the clerk was really cool cute young guy who did not blink when he carded me and I pulled a male drivers lic out of my purse. Back to my room where fortified by liquid courage I changed out of the short plaid to a slinky (ok, slutty) black tube dress and a blonde wig and then really did my make up trashy, no thought of “passing” now aimed for total hooker look and I think I achieved it! Took another short stroll out of the safety of my hotel room to walk across the parking lot to buy a couple of cokes from the machine at the hotel, either brave or stupid considering how I was dressed? After my familiar Cuba Libra kicked in I had some fun and let my imagination run wild. Alas it was time to clean up and put my dreaded CB back on and I mailed Mistress Michelle her key back the next day. Woke up straining and horny as hell and not a little hung over but would not have traded the fun for anything, Thank you Mistress Michelle. Hope that 2010 is a good one for you and you should have your keys back soon.
Jenny

 

yes Rachel, I agree Mistress is wonderful. I am so pleased to be owned by her that I am sure this will be a good year.
I dont do New Years resolutions yet I did think about some goals during my brief period of release. I hope to get in better shape this year and build up my endurance. I am thinking of the best exercise program to embark upon while in chastity. Not a gym kind of "girl" so have about decided to start spliiting firewood (no more hydrolic spliiter) and walking. Not very sissy topic but thats the way it is. Only been a week now but seems like my cage has been on longer, mornings are always hard (no pun intended). I know that being "made" to keep this thing on is the only way I will do it and am grateful that the decision is out of my hands as I have so little will power. Hope that some of the frustration formerly expended in playing with myself can be redirected twords self improvement, would really like to have a bikini ready belly for next summer. I know that may be little boring, just musing on where I want to be this time next year.

Other than health concerns I am doing great, have a job that i love and some good kids and stay way too busy with community affairs. Between volunteering and 2 jobs i should be too busy to think about sex, alas it does not work, pretty much horny all of the time. Thats enough rambling for tonight, will post more soon

 

Someone sent me a poem that I thought I would share!
This girl is working on getting in shape for 2010,

'Twas the week after Christmas and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse.
The cookies I'd nibble, the eggnog I'd taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist.
When I got on the scales, there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber)
I remembered the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared...
The wine and the rumballs, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd not said, "No thank you, please."

As I dressed myself in my wife's old shirt
And prepared once again to battle the dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter dressed like a man!"

So...away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.

I won't have a cookie, not even a lick,
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or cornbread, or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.

I'm hungry, I'm irritated, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?

 

Ok, so 10 consecutive days below freezing, I am ready for it to warm up. Now that I have that off my chest! Mistress Michelle allowed me to unlock for a work function where I had to go through pretty strenuous security today. I am ashamed to admit that it took every last bit of will power I had to relock that damn cage this evening. I wanted to just play with it a little bit first, alas I couldn’t and I now am in my cb again and all is well (will probably be cussing myself about 5am in the morning!).
Not much to report on my chastity journey, this lockup I have had the darndest time with my PA rings getting hung up on my cage. I hope that I have solved the problem by replacing the rings with one “horseshoe” shaped bar and trying to line the beads up with the slots in my 2000. The little round captive beads did a number on my parts before new years and I hope to avoid that, ouch!
Just want to thank my mistress for being so understanding and appreciate the indulgence!

 

Thanks Rachel,
I agree that Mistress is very supportive. I did mention my problems to her and she also broke into her busy schedule to have a nice long converstion (chat) with me the other day. Was just trying to keep my journal updated (as per instructions!). Not much more to report around here. Have noticed that when wearing overalls to chores I have an almost obscene bulge from my CB, wonder if the cute girl at Tractor Supply noticed? (blush).

 

Thank you Mistress Michelle.

 

OK, I wanted this, I longed for this heck I even dreamed about this. Why did I hate it so much last night? I had a pretty rough time and got very little sleep, maybe an hour at a time before my swelling member woke me up again. It has been a bumpy ride this lockup and I already asked my Mistress for a work related release this week so I will try and hold off until she is ready for me, but I am ready to get out of this darn CB.

OK enough griping, after all I am very lucky to have Mistress Michelle hold my keys. Just some wish I could deal with the discomfort a little better. Think maybe that my emotions have been in overdrive, not sure why but a long term lockup seems to make me so much more emotional. I hope this long weekend to have a few hours to get dressed as I have not had a chance to wear a skirt since new years. Not really a lot to report on my chastity journey other than an new found respect for those I have read about here that go for months at a time with a removal of the device, ughh, I cannot imagine the state I would be in from that?

 

Mistress Michelle, sorry Ma'am. I have been slack on communication, no excuses. I am better now yet have not locked back up, yet. thank you for your patience with me. I appreciate the understanding. Will fill more in as I can, and figure out what I am feeling about this journey.

 

Well I have been AWOL from my journal for quite a while. Many things have happened, but the main reason is I got scared. Funny how you dream of having a keyholder and someone to take control and then when you get it. Guess that is why the motto is careful of what you wish for I know I know I read that many times and completely bypassed it, once Mistress Michelle consented to take me under her wing and enforce chastity, well lets just say it took on a whole new meaning! In short I had my longest lockup ever and toped it off by getting a nasty urinary tract infection with high fever and pretty severe dehydration, was just a wreck, physically and emotionally. Pretty much removed my cage and cage and tried to forget my sub nature, most of you know how that went!

To shorten the tale I was even more of a wreck, I knew I had it good finally meeting a Mistress that would be my keyholder and I had screwed that up too! Mistress Michelle consented to let me back into the fold after many heartfelt apologies, I am so grateful. I have now been locked for longer than I ever have been in a row and dont think a release is coming this month but am overjoyed that I was accepted back!

To make matters even better Mistress Michelle is going to allow me to visit her this summer. With scheduling issues and all will most likely be only one day but the chance to see the one who haunts my dreams, well I am getting excited! Not sure why I got so lucky but am not going to screw up this time. Will fill in more details as the event gets closer