When do you DISLIKE chastity?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by borbulls1961, Sep 18, 2022.

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  1. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    I am locked by my good wife and have requested her to only unlock me when SHE wants to use the cock.
    Her libido has dropped over the years and I may get used maybe 4 to 5 times a year. That's all wonderful as long as she allows me access to HER body.

    But recent life-stress has made her feel like avoiding fun.
    And when I cant touch her then the cage becomes a real drag. But I gave her the keys.

    Maybe I should give up for a bit and go back to masturbating? But if I do that she won't believe in it?
     
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  2. Robins toy
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    Robins toy Active member

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    If my Wife didn't allow me access to Her body, I'm sure that my cage would be something terrible.

    I feel for you, brother....
     
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  3. Perverspepere
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    Perverspepere 7/5 on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale.

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    Ask permission to self-milk your prostate with toys.
     
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  4. Stephplayswithyou
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    Stephplayswithyou Active member

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    You already recognize that you can't give up on it but who's to say that a break isn't called for. Only you guys can figure that one out and do what works for you. Yes, totally agree that no contact isn't ideal. You may have to find other ways to focus that energy for a bit, but talk to her is probably the best thing, try to figure out a compromise if you feel it's best.
     
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  5. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Long term member

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    I feel like my wife and I might be slipping into a phase like that. I'm not sure if it's wholly life stress or partly my lack of attentiveness. But knowing that a chaste life and loving her sacrificially are the right things to do, I'm compelled to double down on my efforts to serve her, care for her and find ways to de-stress her life with minimal physical affection. She'll respond when she's ready and able.

    That doesn't leave me without urges to pleasure myself though. In fact, it brings those urges to the surface. I'm thankful to God that she holds the key and I can't act on that urge. I could defeat my cage but she would find out because I wouldn't be able to get it back in place. I could possibly use a "power tool" and she might not find out, but I don't know if I could hide my guilt for long; I've committed to radical honesty with her and the penalties we've agreed to mean no physical affection for weeks. That would only make the circumstances worse.

    Besides, I've experience the Winter of Marriage for a few dozen years! I don't EVER want to go back there!
     
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  6. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    When external events prevent us from living our chosen lifestyle is the bit I don't like. i.e. Having to remove the cage for certain work activities.
     
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  7. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    Are these not the times that chastity is designed for?
    While her urges have decreased (temporarily) it’s time to show that your not only thinking with your penis. Your devotion should be more than sexual favours. Spend the time you could unproductively wasting whilst masturbating by doing things she’ll appreciate.
    This phase will come and go.
    Chastity is for life.


    I’m guessing. But that’s my theory.
     
  8. buildup
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    buildup Long term member

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    At the start of a new round. Frustration is high then after a couple of weeks frustration is replaced by acceptance
     
  9. Headtrip
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    Headtrip Long term member

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    That sucks.

    Communicate with her. Be patient and understanding. Trust her to come up with a solution in due time.

    Easy for me to say, but I promise to come back and read this next month when its my turn...
     
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  10. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    This is easily the hardest part of being a chaste husband. Being locked and ignored or when she's not interested for whatever reason in allowing worship makes me feel alone. The solution is for me to be man enough to talk to her but that is hard and makes me feel like I'm begging her to kink me. Try some non-sexual intimacy, hugging or holding hands, etc.
     
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  11. WillieBDenied
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    WillieBDenied All men should be locked

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    That the reality rarely if ever lives up to the fantasy.
     
  12. madams-sissysub
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    When it’s very cold! It makes your balls tighten up!
     
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  13. borbulls1961
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    borbulls1961 Madame Vanilla's property

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    Yeah there's a cold spell here and I had to stop cycling to readjust the base ring...it was getting real painful. But that's a bit of a technicality!
     
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  14. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    I think the trick is to look at chastity as the reward in of itself. I was unlocked for a long stretch recently and we weren't having much sex play so I re-locked as I'd rather be locked and not doing anything than unlocked and not doing anything. Because, when you're locked, there's always the feeling of something on your junk and that, along with the feeling you get from not having an orgasm, is a low-level arousal feeling and I like that. Plus, being locked puts me back into a kinky mindset, which I found was missing when I was unlocked.

    On those occasions where you want to self-pleasure (and in the old days that would mean wanking), do something else, like self-spank or stick a vibrator up your butt and massage your prostate. Even if you resort to holding a wand on your cage and having an orgasm, that will likely be a ruined O so it won't ruin everything (pun unintended).
     
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  15. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    Maybe you two can talk about a different arrangement that allows you to orgasm in a way see is ok with.
     
  16. Trapped
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    Trapped Long term member

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    I grow tired of chastity when I feel locked and forgotten. My wifes libido is zero. She wants the keys and I want her to have them. But at times though it can feel like she is keeping me locked up as punishment for the years of rampant masturbation. I don't have scheduled releases and going 200 days or whatever can be rough.
     
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  17. Design is me
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    Design is me Long term member

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    I agree with the locked and ignored crowd. That is definitely the worst time. Dealing with the inconsistancies of her libido can be difficult. Three weeks ago she teased me every night and I gave her multiple orgasms. Then nothing for 2 weeks. I know it is up to her because she has the key, but that doesn't make it any easier.
    A lose second is putting the cage back on after PIV.
     
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  18. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Active member

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    Well I mean, if she is not going to engage at all may as well ask for the key back - I would. It's supposed to be exciting for the keyholder as well, if not may as well not bother.
     
  19. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    That isn't the journey @borbulls1961 is on. Stick with it mate, remember how much you love her. Do you get to spoon nightly? It is incredibly erotic. Play this game in your head. You are not allowed to thrust. If you do then you have to turn slightly down
     
  20. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    Oh, CK… when you practise this lifestyle fully. More than just a kink. You’ll understand, there are times when it’s sexually thrilling. There’s times when it’s emotionally rewarding. There are times (as you can imagine when your happiness is interlinked with someone else’s) that it causes major frustration.
    You can’t pick and choose when you are devoted to another. You have to take the rough with the smooth and really dig deep to bring out your own best to help you significant other to bring out there’s.
     
  21. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Active member

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    Just as well I wasn't responding to borbulls then.
     
  22. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Active member

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    And those are the times you should come out for your psychological and physical health.

    There are other ways to be devoted to someone than locking your dick up.
     
  23. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    But they were offering support to borbull, you were not. Just lashing out at something you wish you had. I pity you.
     
  24. Caro-Kann
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    Caro-Kann Active member

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    I agree with the locked and ignored crowd.
    That is definitely the worst time.
    Dealing with the inconsistancies of her libido can be difficult.

    nothing for 2 weeks. I know it is up to her because she has the key, but that doesn't make it any easier.

    Sounds like he was offering his own perspective.

    'Scuse me, dear sir. Do you profess to understand better than I, that which I wish I possessed and that which I do not?
     
  25. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    You don’t know. I’ve been through way more challenging times. There was a time in my life when I hoped I wouldn’t see the next day. Actively tried to ensure that happened.
    My emotional/ psychological intelligence does not need questioning. I know what is best for me. I know that chastity has improved my well being. Emotionally and physically… having someone who will support me through any challenge in life. Knowing I would give up everything. Everything including my own sexual satisfaction if that’s what it took. That would be positive for my health. I could ask her to end it at any given moment. I wouldn’t. Chastity improves our lives.

    Like marriage?
    Like a wedding ring?
    Like Relocating?
    Like a change of career?
    Like sharing all financial aspects of our lives?
    Like children?
    Like emotional openness?
    Like…
    Locking my dick up?
     
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