What's your take?

Personally I try to stay out of other people's relationships.

Even if I did want to bring it up, it's not really something I could broach without opening up about our own kink which is private to us

 

I second CagedBySocks

 

I spoke with my college roommate about Flr. He really wanted none of it. It wasn't a mistake but it wasn’t a warmly received suggestion. I probably wouldn’t offer it again.

 

I tend to agree. It would have to be a realllly good friend I knew was somewhat kinky and open to it. And I really don't have any of those.

 

My answer would be no.

I think you can have something you enjoy and not go around suggesting it to solve other people's problems.

If maybe they were jealous of your relationship and you were asked what your secret is, then sure. But if your opinion on someone else's relationship is not wanted (which I consider to be the default position unless you find out otherwise) then don't give it.

 

The kind of relationships people have on this site would not work for most. The asmetric power dynamic has to appeal to both partys.

 

No.

If people aren't in kink they're not going to be able to take that kind of advice. It just won't compute. You either get this way of life or you don't. That's why so many men have such difficulty explaining chastity to their partners.

 

As a long-time, candid deviant, the question is really, "What do you get from outing your self to this person?" Plus, starting with the implement seldom ends well.

 

I wouldn't go there as too many variables seem unknown. Do you really know their sex life, if they see variations like chastity or fem dom as within their normal scope or too radical? If their issues are sexual and intimacy, maybe other factors have a greater influence, like trust, or even finances. I know for us, our things seem like a good solution to many problems, but hearing it from someone outside the relationship might be too odd. I feel chastity and especially a FLR has to come naturally for a couple. But you can offer to talk about issues, and perhaps give them more general advice that could lead to these as solutions. I mean, it's always good to hear someone cares and wants to help.

 

If you know these people well and you think that it would be right for them, then I say yes. Tell them.

Maybe give them a book about it (Locked in Love perhaps) or talk to them all together (You, your wife and them). Lay it all out and on the line. Be prepared for lots of questions. Wine might be needed.

Good Luck.

Iso.

 

Absolutely not. Both suggestions are going to come off as blaming the man for the relationship problems.

 

Not unless I knew they were kinky, and I was already close to them.

I might say, "You are always bickering over things, but she always eventually gets her way, so either you need to be more assertive and demand to be treated as an equal, or you need to just agree she's in charge."

I wouldn't suggest chastity, since that's more person-specific.

 

If I knew the person well enough yes, I believe I would share what is working for us. Simply, “Have you considered giving full control of the relationship to your spouse?” And go from there based on their response. For myself, I very much want to share with others what her leading has done for us. We are only a little over a year in and vanilla compared to most others on here but, asking her to lead and yielding to her authority has absolutely changed our marriage!

 

I can think of a couple who in my opinion would benefit greatly from accepting the concept of being in an FLR and the introduction of chastity play into their lives.

I would however not even dream of suggesting it directly.

Perhaps manipulating a conversation to broach the topic briefly then moving on and leaving them to their own enlightenment might work.

But getting involved in any way or offering advice would be a potential minefield I'd rather avoid.

 

Definitely. With some luck and effort, it will bring out the best in both of them.

 

If a couple does not have free and open communication already underway in their relationship, then this will not work for them. On the other hand, if they have that sort of relationship, it might work. Galileo said "you cannot teach a person anything; but only help them discover it within themselves"

 

We're all human and as humans we have a tendency to look at the solutions to our problems as universally true when in fact, at least in the case of relationships, are affected by multitude of variables. The personalities, inclinations, courage, ability to communicate and so on. There are no one size fits all solutions. Relationships are a mess much like humans really. I've thought the same thing as you did OP but realized that I was becoming just as preachy as any zealot (in my head). It's one way of living. It suits some people. The problem that seems far to prevalent is our general inability to accept that other people make different choices. And while it sucks to see ones friends make the same mistake over and over it would be silly to assume that the solution is a good talking to about chastity and FLR (whatever that actually means).
2 cents.

 

I agree with staying out of people’s relationships, but I do discuss kinks with people.

 

I think you and I are at very different places with all of this.

 

So....

Any update?

Just curious as to what you decided.

Iso.

 

does said couple know of your intimate life? if so, then maybe I'd approach the benefits of how it affects your life. that is maybe as in MAYBE
otherwise, I'd let the sleeping dog lay.

 

I agree that not going there is best, even if you are good friends, ask yourself that question. How would you feel/ react if your friend suggested that for you? I learned long ago, what works for Mistress an I may not work for our friends...

 

I wouldnt poke my nose into other peoples issues like this unless asked and seeing as no one know our kink then no one is likely to ask

 

Me never, not my style. My GF, however, would (and I believe has.) And it seems so much more okay IMHO for a female to female discussion about the benefits of Female led relationships.