What Was Your Motivations For Chastity

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Disciplined Boyfriend, May 7, 2023.

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What was the original motivation for chastity

  1. Foreplay

    15 vote(s)
    11.8%
  2. FemDom

    49 vote(s)
    38.6%
  3. Erection control

    16 vote(s)
    12.6%
  4. Orgasm control

    66 vote(s)
    52.0%
  5. Masturbation prevention

    63 vote(s)
    49.6%
  6. Mark of ownership

    23 vote(s)
    18.1%
  7. Other

    10 vote(s)
    7.9%
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  1. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    What were your ORIGINAL motivations for chastity. Did you see it as a bit of a thrill for extended foreplay? Maybe it was a extension of a FemDom relationship or you were a chronic masturbator and wanted to save yourself for your partner?

    For our part I always had a desire to be denied an erection and it was part of our bondage scenes that not just limbs were restrained and I don't think we had heard of chastity devices/cages outwith the medieval chastity belts that men would make their woman wear whilst out battling in the crusades and other missions. The term I remember reading was "a restrainer". That was in a very tame kink magazine (before the Internet) and the Mistress would "put a restrainer on his penis".... I think that stuck with me, then us.
     
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  2. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Mrs Edge is pretty vanilla-ish in her interests. For the first tenbyesrsnof our marriage I kept asking her to try different things, like dressing up, some light bondage, role play, etc. She would agree, and then not do it. Or she would do something once or twice and never again. "I have to be in the right mood" or "I don't want to do all the work" she would say.

    The only thing that seemed to grab her attention were the cages I made in my garage. They were those "stallion guard" style cages, not pretty but functional. She took to those right away. When the CB3000 came out, I bought one, spent some time getting the proper fit, and told her about them. "Wow, you have to get one of those!"

    I told her I had one. She told me to put it on. She admired it for a minute, and then took the keys.

    No femdom, no FLR, just a traditional relationship with one twist.
     
  3. Junebug15
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    Junebug15 Long term member

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    For control I don't have
     
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  4. TangoSub
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    TangoSub Long term member

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    Mistress/wife and I have been together more than 25 years. We used to have a more "switch" relationship taking the dominate role in our intimacy times. It would start in daily foreplay and even carry one past the activities for awhile.

    We have a LOT of toys and have tried a lot of different things. When we ordered a chastity belt for Mistress, she wore it half a day and decided that was not for her. Same time she ordered my first cage (CB6000 standard btw) and we started experimenting with that. It wasnt the most comfortable thing at first and I didnt wear it for more than a day or so.

    Then she got me another version and I started wearing it longer. Same time she took ownership of the keys/lock. Our relationship moved to more FLR/her in charge. I never objected or push backed...obviously.

    Eventually I engaged an online KH who is VERY experienced and much more dominant / disciplined / strict. She really opened my up to the LONG term chastity and my commitment. Same time my Mistress enjoyed much more direct attention in our sexual lives, it became exclusively about her needs and wants there.

    Our domestic household routines also moved to a much more FLR lifestyle in chores and day to day care/feeding of our lives. Certainly my "sissy maid" side has been part of my embracing my role. But to be clear...dressed or not (although I prefer dressed as often as I can) I am the submissive in the relationship now on in our relationship, sexual or otherwise. And I am very happy with that.

    Long answer but Chastity wasnt a motivation to get where we are but it has been the biggest component. I dont see us ever moving away from this...and I am in a good place with that.
     
  5. Deleted member 100175
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    #5 Deleted member 100175, May 7, 2023
    Last edited by a moderator: May 7, 2023
    She originally suggested it for short-term foreplay, but I delayed purchasing a cage on a 'careful what you wish for' basis - I really didn't want to (too) dramatically reduce my orgasms

    The seed was planted though, and it increasingly turned me on to be submissive to Her & cede full control of my ejaculations or denial to Her whim - I was never a compulsive masturbator, but I wanted every shot to start to count

    The biggest surprise for me was how much I'd taken for granted the joy of just being out & hard - I miss an unfettered & free erection almost as much as the (additional / excess / missing) orgasms

    We're slowly arriving at the stage where She's comfortable getting off without my reciprocation (though uncomfortable it's maybe 'selfish', despite my reassurances) and I'm increasingly enjoying delayed gratification.

    She had no idea men could orgasm via anal stimulation alone, but that's now Her next wish (I'm trying to learn) so once we've got that sorted I assume I'll be getting out less frequently & I'll get to come when She pegs me ...
     
  6. BavarianWoman
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    BavarianWoman I rule

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    Don't be selfish and care less about your orgasms.;)
     
  7. Deleted member 100175
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    we've had this exchange before! - I'm cool with it, but despite my insistence She's still the one with the (reducing) hang-up around me not getting off :+1:
     
  8. HappilyLockedMan
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    HappilyLockedMan Long term member

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    I've been tying my cock up forever, way before I knew that there was such a thing as male chastity. I incorporated all sorts of household items in my quest for a bound cock and, I have to admit, my desire to suppress or deny my male-ness.

    When I came across actual manufactured chastity devices there was no question that I wanted one. Or two. Or three. My conversations with my wife were awkward. Despite the many very positive aspects of my relationship with my wife a shared appreciation of kink is not one of them. But she has slowly come around to accepting although not enjoying my cock being locked.

    Several days ago I felt neglected and very nicely asked her to reassert her control. It took her just a moment to get into a stern headspace and to order me to continue to be locked up until she told me not to be.

    "Do you understand!" she demanded.

    "Yes, mistress," I agreed with a grateful smile.
     
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  9. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    To teach me self-control and curb a masturbation habit, to control my orgasms so I would be motivated to love her unconditionally like I should, and to give her control of my sexuality.
     
  10. Disciplined Boyfriend
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  11. FLRAdvocate
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    FLRAdvocate Long term member

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    I managed to hookup with a woman who has less than half my age, and she had a control fetish. She wanted someone who would allow her to play light fem-dom control games with her, and I had already been kind of exploring chastity on my own anyway. So when she brought it up, I was all in. We've been together (with a couple of breaks) for almost 6 years now and she just absolutely loves being in control of my ability to engage in any kind of sexual enjoyment. So, with the exception of a few periods of time where I couldn't wear it for one reason or another, I've remained in chastity for more than 5 years. It just feels like a natural state of things at this point.
     
  12. Disciplined Boyfriend
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    Hey @ManInSteelUK I recognise that icon. I used to work for that company, did you?

    A
     
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  13. Deleted member 100175
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    I didn't, no - but a few Brits my / our age seem to be recognising it! fits well with my metallic preferences ...
     
  14. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    Bought as another bdsm toy hoping my Wife would MAYBE want to do a switch in our dominant roles with our mild bdsm play. Thought at most it would be some fun long weekend locks…….
    That was 4 years ago now, total dominance role swap, caged 24/7 unless she wants to use her penis I carry for her, she demands I wear women’s underwear most of the time unless there’s a real need not to, limited to a couple ruins and one full orgasm a month as of this year, although now she’s wanting to push me for less, regular spankings and pegging whenever she decides. I’m completely submissive to her now.
    And I’m not complaining about any of it! I asked for her to take over totally and that’s what she did, no going back ever now.
     
  15. Sherrie’sPleasure
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    Sherrie’sPleasure Active member

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    To channel & devote all of my sexual energy for my Goddess and wife Sherrie. Her pleasure is my bliss being chaste.
     
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  16. Chili-boy
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    Chili-boy Long term member

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    For me its a privilege to be locked up, caged in her name and I am allowed to remain caged if I can show how much better I am and how much better she feels
     
  17. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Adoring husband

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    It took some time being in chastity and denied for me to begin to experience that, but I would definitely say that's my #4 motivation now.
     
  18. shannonsanders
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    shannonsanders Long term member

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    Does it bug you she wouldn’t try things you were interested in? That’s a pretty “traditional” problem.
     
  19. shannonsanders
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    shannonsanders Long term member

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    I liked getting a very high libido by waiting. I must have been in junior high when I read a story in Penthouse about a woman who made her boyfriend wait all weekend and how highly attentive he became. This was before knowing what chastity was.
     
  20. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Married with Cage

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    With one twist is about where we are with it. She does pull out of the hat "aren't you supposed to do what I say without question?" When it suits her, and has no issue making me get all her drinks in the evening. But otherwise vanilla. Masturbation control originally because I took too long. The orgasm control side of things developed out of the initial need to wait for her rather than sort myself out. Now I'm not aroused easily by my own hand. Her touch is worth the wait.
     
  21. Kiye
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    Kiye subslut of Vylette

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    For me it's all about the control and D/s dynamic. For me the chastity device is a symbol/expression of my status within the relationship and reminds me of the power exchange we have.

    I originally was really into teasing and orgasm control and honestly probably just wanted to do it so I can have really great orgasms, but that has changed a bit and I'm now more interested in how it encourages me to be in a submissive headspace.
     
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  22. madams-sissysub
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    For me it was because I was told to, my Madam wanted me locked so show my devotion and commitment to her and as a sign of her control and ownership of me.
     
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  23. NEsubhub
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    NEsubhub Long term member

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    Wife and I started anal play and pegging and I hadn't had a hands free orgasm since I was in my early 20's and wanted to be able to achieve that again. But I had no will power to stop masturbating. So putting a cage on to keep my hands off was the solution.
     
  24. Tom Allen
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    It used to bother me for a while in our marriage. However, I've decided that if the one kink that she was going to enjoy would be locking me up, then I would throw myself into it and enjoy that, too. So far it's been pretty good for the both of us.
     
  25. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes I identify as someone that is always right

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    Semen retention.

    Taoist sexual culitvation practices suggest zero ejaculations and yet still want you edging and making love, if dual cultivating, each for 30 mins per day.

    I had tried without the cage many times but couldn't get past around 8 days.

    When I discovered chastity I had been reading about semen retention and spiritual practices, as well as finding links in places like Think and Grow Rich by Napleon Hill.

    Chastity is constantly sexual arousing, and I genuinely hate caged orgasms, so it served the dual purpose of teasing and not having orgams.

    When I suggested chastity to my GF she loved the idea. We have always been into pleasure delay, for both of us, so it was quite natural. I wrote a big document for her to read, and she found her own reading material after that. She also never liked the idea of me masturbating anyway

    We both love it, and I am truly blessed. She constantly teases, sends memes most days, and we fool around pretty much every morning and even. It's like being teenagers...except I'm not ejaculating 5 times a day.

    We're not into FLR or other kinky aspects of it, just her holding the key and denying my ability to masturbate or have an erection until she wants.
     
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