What "Permanent" chastity means to me....

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Dr MBogo, May 23, 2024.

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  1. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    There was a spirited discussion in the chat room recently regarding the concept of permanent chastity. As most people here know, that topic has been discussed and dissected in every way possible in the past few years. And yet, there are those who still get upset if your definition of permanent is different (usually less stringent) than theirs. It was therefore suggested that I explain my "permanent chastity" experience in the form of a thread. So, here goes.....

    My wife and I stumbled upon chastity almost 8 years ago, while looking for ways to spice up our stagnant sex life. We'd been married for many years and were generally very happy, but sex was near non-existent. One of the reasons was my ED, which didnt respond well to Viagra or similar medications. We came across chastity online and thought "Why not?" If nothing else it takes the ED issue off the table.

    As it turned out, we both really enjoyed it! We became much more intimate, much more often. She took on a bit of "domme" persona at times, and I was able to express my latent fantasies about feminization. But only in private-to the outside we are perfectly normal 65 year old retired grandparents. FYI-I wear panties routinely and fully dress up on occasion,(and in private) with makeup, wigs, clothes, shoes, etc. We both get a kick out of it. We even went to a costume party a couple of years ago dressed as lesbian lovers., which was very popular with the (very vanilla) crowd.

    About 1 year into our chastity journey, my wife actually brought up the idea of being "permanent". We realized that we have not had traditional PIV sex in that entire year, and that neither of us missed it. In fact, we were both happier than we'd ever been with sex. She then made it clear that she was not interested in PIV any longer, so I could be locked all the time if I wanted. We decided to do that, and even came up with a little ceremony for the locking of my cage for the last time. The ceremony was fun and sexy. Some of you have seen photos.

    Now I fully realized that being locked permanently did NOT mean I'd never remove the cage. I'm in an Evotion Bijou, anchored to a Frenum piercing. It's about as inescapable as you can get. But it can retain an odor. After a week, it's quite noticeable. So, every Friday morning she unlocks me and I clean the cage thoroughly. I also inspect everything down there. I then put the cage back on and she takes the key. Altogether, it takes about ten minutes. Also, about a year ago I had a medical procedure which involved that area, for which I removed the cage.

    Based on all that, I consider myself locked in permanent chastity and my wife agrees. I don't even know what she does with the key most of the time. Someone in the chat room here(who I won't name) strongly disagreed. This person gave off a "holier than thou" attitude, and described me as a poseur. Well, maybe I am, but I'm also locked in chastity permanently, or at least until one of us (my wife or I) leaves this planet. Please, guys, take it easy on each other in here. It's all about having fun on an adult level. Heaven knows we have few enough chances to have fun in this world currently. Ok, I'm done. Sorry if this rambled on a bit.
     
  2. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    And that's what led me to this:

    https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...t-caged-denial-matrix-post.39968/#post-431795
     
  3. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    By all means let's keep beating this horse. Leave the cage on for an mri then we'll talk about permanent.
     
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  4. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub "Smaller is better"

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    At the risk of derailing the thread. What is your problem? He clearly defines what permanently means to him. He didn't claim it was permanently attached surgically to his dick. He is in permanent chastity, if there is no time he is unsupervised. If we want to nitpick then we could say he is permanently denied access to directly pleasuring his penis. But really, if someone states their definition of something, it can often be acceptable as it is clarified with further thoughts. Which the Doctor clearly does.
     
  5. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub "Smaller is better"

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  6. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    Because this conversation has been beaten to death. Nobody is in permanent chasity no matter how you attempt to define it. If the cage comes off it's not permanent. Words have meanings for a reason.
     
  7. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub "Smaller is better"

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    Quoted twice! I must have been extra wrong!
     
  8. LoveIt
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    LoveIt Active member

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    #8 LoveIt, May 24, 2024
    Last edited: May 24, 2024
    I realised some members do not react very well on the word "permanent". Feels like a forbidden word here.

    For the record, I do agree with the author about permanent. Actually, I am in the same situation now. Of course the cage goes off for cleaning, although for me it's like once per month since I have the Titanium BA-21 or I switch to the plastic K3D when I need to travel.

    After all the term "permanent" is used in relation to chastity, not in relation to chastity cage. I am in permanent chastity using chastity cage, which (of course) needs to get off for cleaning or MRI.

    It is surprising for me how hard is for some members here just to agree to disagree.
     
  9. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    I am in permanent chastity 5 days per week :p

    Or should we say permanent part time, we don't allow casuals here do we.

    There is a difference between permanent chastity and permanently locked up.

    Chastity by definition (oxford) is "the state of not having sex with anyone or only having sex with the person you are married to; being chaste. It doesn't even exclude masturbation, although by some religious definitions it can (well case in point like this group!).

    A chastity belt does indeed achieve its meaning it prevents having PIV with anyone other than who holds your key, though technically you can still have sex wearing a cage!

    By definition Mr Mbogo is practicing permanent chastity or in a permanent chaste relationship, chastity has fuck all to do with how long you wear a cage for !

    All a cage does is help with the carrying out of permanent chastity, it removes some temptation.

    The denial matrix, while I agree it is a measure of how LOCKED and denied we are, strictly speaking a 9,10 is still permanently chaste, indeed ANY x axis number with a Y of 10 is permanently chaste.

    This group has chosen to ignore the true meaning of the word chastity and invent their own interpretation which is actually a corruption to suit our own fantasy fodder (me included).

    For a forum with men who are submissive to their women folk there is a awful lot of pissing contests going on, which in all probability women would just laugh at.

    Look at me look at me I glued my lock shut! pffft
     
  10. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub "Smaller is better"

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    Well said @cogman

    chastity:
    the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse.
    "vows of chastity"
    If one of our members is refraining from all sexual intercourse, which in the traditional sense they are, then the chastity is permanent. The device, may not be, but the device is means of achieving chastity, not chastity itself.
    Basically @Mr_anonymous I don't think you could be more wrong if you tried.

    I could argue that even though I get releases and traditional sex too, once in a while, that I never fall off the denial matrix, and that my chastity is permanent.

    Yes! Let's do it. I see no end to my chastity. I am too in permanent chastity. And... You can all go to Hell if you think otherwise. It's my voice, and I will define "permanent" any fucking way I choose.
     
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  11. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Usually we are talking at crossed purposes from the get-go!

    We don't even have agreed definitions for chastity and chaste! Are they the same? Which means "locked"? And "permanent" has a range of meanings.

    It's probably more useful to talk about the different (equally valid) chastity relationship styles which do exist in the real world and seem to boil down to: (A) "Neutering Lite" about him being chaste for her, (B) "Keyholder" about her actively controlling his chastity.

    "Neutering Lite" could be mechanically sealed, but equally could mean a schedule for unlocking and washing, and for orgasms. The extreme versions fit some of the definitions of "permanent", and would work from the partner's point of view if it were magically permanent in sense of perpetual.

    "Keyholder" is more playful and needs a useable key to exist.
     
  12. Mr_anonymous
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    If you have sex you're not chaste by any definition cage or not. Nobody will permanently wear a cage. Why is so important to some for this permanence that they have to redefine words to suit them. I do agree though it's an odd passing contest for the unachievable.
     
  13. Siro
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    Interesting how grown boys can get upset about a definition, just as one would steal the shovel from the other in the sandbox.

    If it's so difficult, why don't we define it by vote?

    In my opinion, Permanent (absolute): Permanent chastity that allows no erections, no cumming and no PIV. Not even anal orgasms allowed. Depending on the type of device, it may need to be removed for cleaning or doctor's appointments.
    Of course there are hardcore variants too.
    I've also read about ceremonies where chastity belts were welded shut.

    Everything else with ruined orgasms etc. Compared to permanent chastity, it is probably more of a light version.
     
  14. Tom Allen
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    How dare you derail a dead-horse beating thread by being all sensible?!
     
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  15. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Which brings me back to: these are two quite different dynamics.
     
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  16. Mr_anonymous
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    It's really not that difficult. One can be permanently chaste by abstaining from all sexual activity. Permanently in chasity as in being in a cage is a fantasy. It has to come off for whatever reason at some point, so it's not permanent. Why even the need for definitions? Besides to feed some delusion I'm permanently caged which is an impossibility.
     
  17. OrdinaryGuy
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    Aren't everyone one of you doing chastity in your own unique way? As in, everyone else's chastity experience is unique to them and their relationship?

    So if chastity itself men's something different for everyone, then permanent chastity is going to have slightly different meanings too.

    Look, if you are expressing yourself, then sometimes you need more than one word to explain the nuance you are trying to convey. If it's permanent chastity with no release ever, or if it's permanent 24/7 chastity cage wearing. Then so be it. Just use the extra words and I don't see the issue!
     
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  18. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub "Smaller is better"

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    If we are going for absolutes then nothing is permanent. Yet we would describe the house we live in as a permanent structure, even though in real terms it is a temporary thing. That mountain, Mount Everest, seems pretty permanent, yet it used to be part of the sea bed. Language itself is fluid, changeable, quite quickly with each generation, not even words are permanent. And, if someone take the time to explain their definition, then we are all on the same page, and the rest is semantics.
     
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  19. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    Ok im a billionaire ill take the time to explain to the bank I need a 60 million dollar loan even though I don't have a billion dollars. See how that works.
     
  20. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    But if you have a "permanent job" and a "permanent residence", will you still be in both in 60 billion years?
     
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  21. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    You're entirely missing the point. When I fail to qualify for that loan it's not semantics. It's that I don't fit the criteria of the word I used to describe myself. Yes my house and mountains are far more permanent then a cage that comes off for whatever reason. So even by that logic it's not permanent
     
  22. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I'd certainly be ecstatic if we could settle on some less ambiguous terms for our discussions!
     
  23. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    I'm being clear and using definitions of words as they were intended. How's this for less ambiguous. If the cage comes off ever for any reason it's not permanent.
     
  24. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I'm afraid usage is still muddy.

    "Chastity" is ambiguous. Do we mean chastity as in "caged"? Chastity as in "under a chastity regime"? Or the more general non-kinky meanings?

    "Permanent" can mean "perpetual", but it can also mean "persistent", e.g. "She kept him in a permanent state of arousal." We use it for things like "residence" and "job" when we really mean "relatively permanent" or maybe "open ended". Somewhere in there is the idea of mechanically persistent, e.g. "she wrote her name on his thigh using a permanent marker".

    Or to put it another way, the face we keep coming back around to debating meanings suggests we need better terms.
     
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  25. Mr_anonymous
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    Mr_anonymous Long term member

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    To most words have set definitive meanings. It's only to those who wish to twist words to suit them that they don't.
     
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