What makes this lifestyle

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Darlydixon, Jul 6, 2020.

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  1. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon hornyman

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    what makes this lifestyle so sexy?
    Why is it so hit to give away your manhood, control over orgasms ao hot that your will to give that all away and .ore even PIV sex just to make your love happy.
    I have been only doing it for a month and can't find an answer other than yes mistress if that is what you want. I never thought in a million years I could freely give that much control. For instance going to the DOCTOR tomorrow my KEYHOLDER has not mentioned anything about letting me unlock my guess I will have to ask in the morning for permission. Total mind fuck.
     
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  2. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Good question, i imagine there will be a lot of interesting answers.
     
  3. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon hornyman

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    That us what I thought
     
  4. madams-sissysub
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    Thinking the Same here!
    There is so many answers to this, I find that the submission is addictive, the more you submit, the more you want to submit.
     
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  5. Kept for her
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    Kept for her Member

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    For me it is just making her happy. I love to see the smile on her face when I do certain things for her. And when she says it’s time for piv sex it makes it all the better.
     
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  6. Jinkyu
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    Jinkyu Active member

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    It's like that story I heard at a bdsm playspace one time...

    Three guys were sitting around talking about rope play.

    One said "I like rope play because of the power exchange and connection it builds. The bond it builds is second to none."

    The second said "For me, it is a beautiful, sensual exotic performative art. I love timing the knots and sliding the rope over her skin."

    Finally, the third guy said "it makes my dick hard!"
     
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  7. chastity_longterm
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    New normal for my country..is new normal(locked up) for me...thats my gf says to me
     
  8. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    Giving up control to someone else, denying my most basic urges, and reinforcing my need for submission, all appeal to me as a part of chastity.
     
  9. Miffy
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    Miffy Active member

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    'You're less irritating'-wife/kh
     
  10. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Active member

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    You gotta retype this one out, lol....
     
  11. amvetsb
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    I was interested in making it difficult to 'get off' during self-bondage, which led to discovering chastity devices, trying a couple models and figuring out quickly that there was more to it than or that there could be than the original concept I was using the devices for. I found that it was easier to commit to a bondage scene if the first thing I did was lock my bits up. In turn, it was the last thing I could get to and get freed, which always led to an orgasm. The longer I had to wait and harder I had to work to reach that point, the more pleasurable and meaningful the orgasms were. The more this realization sunk in, the more curious I got about the chastity 'concept', which led to taking a chance that when I was otherwise free from my bondage, I might have to wait for the chastity key... Using websites like emlalock or keyholder.r307.com made it possible to explore and experiment with 'giving up my key' and submitting to the 'chance' that I may be stuck in chastity which meant having to wait, and the longer I had to wait, the more pleasure and more meaningful the orgasm was. So, from ''I'm done with bondage, now I get to cum" to adding an option "now that I'm done with my bondage, I might get to cum now or in x-time" to adding variables which changed the likelihood AND how long I had to wait to something other than 'now or exactly when' so I would have no idea after my bondage when I would be able to unlock my cage... That created a 'thrill' for the chastity for me and I wanted MORE!
    Anyway, the 'quest for the more meaningful and pleasurable orgasm' by having to wait for it evolved into giving up having anything to do with the when-factor and eventually finding a 'play-partner' which enhanced that by taking control of the key and the clock. That evolved in giving up control of if/when/ and how I experience orgasms and introduced more 'play' with it....
    ANYWAY....... There was an evolution involved with reaching a point where chastity became a 'lifestyle' for me, but has for the most part been about my having less orgasms that are better when I do have them than if I didn't have chastity to use as a tool for that. But, back to the OP, for me, this lifestyle is appealing because it's more pleasurable. For those that have held my key and the one that does now, my chastity and chastity lifestyle is sexy and appealing because I'm giving up something that they want(ed) to own/control. For us, it's not a TPE with an element of chastity, it's just about the chastity itself.
     
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  12. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon hornyman

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    The other thing is how sexy is it when you find out your KEYHOLDER wears your keys everywhere even when you are not with. Not sure why I am finding that so flipping hot.
     
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  13. NZSenator
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    NZSenator Member

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    I don't think I've been in chastity long enough to claim it as a lifestyle, but I was drawn to the device initially as I was intrigued about the physical sensation of something encasing my penis under clothing. I have worn butt plugs discretely at work during the day, but this was something different.

    My wife is only partially on board at this stage. Dipping her toes in the tease and denial pool so to speak and still sees it as my thing / my doing. She hasn't yet taken charge of the keys or denied me removing the cage regularly for non sexual reasons (hygiene, shaving and sport).

    I am drawn to the way I look wearing the device, I think it looks pretty sexy when I'm naked except my metal cage around my penis and how it pushes my balls forward and out making them appear larger.

    I am hoping that my wife will be further drawn into the role of keyholder, taking a more active part in the control of the cage and become more active in our sex life, even if that means requesting / demanding more attention on her own sexual wants / needs.

    Perhaps thats the beauty of chastity, there are so many options available to suit a variety of situations, from the mere curious, to those that are involved in "permanent" chastity and everything inbetween.
     
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  14. Darlydixon
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    Darlydixon hornyman

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    That is very well written. My KEYHOLDER has control of me keys and she decides when and what we do for sex. But not much more I think it is the journey down the rabbit hole that is the best. As long as they are happy we are happy.
     
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  15. GoodBoy1122
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    When I read about the science behind it years ago, it made so much sense. I went and found the blog that had this info: http://secretchastityhusband.blogsp...leasure-and-devotion.html?zx=e4bca9abf2d05603

    The highlights boil down to how denial impacts 3 major chemicals that effect our mood:

    Dopamine - the neurotransmitter that causes the feeling of pleasure we receive from engaging in certain activities. Sexual arousal (or the chase thereof), the eating of calorie rich foods, and for some people, certain other behaviors like gambling or shopping.

    Prolactin - the neurotransmitter of satiation; it applies the brakes on the level and duration of dopamine and oxytocin. Prolactin levels generally remain stable in the reward center of the brain except during orgasm when they are substantially increased to deal with (i.e counteract or reduce the level of) the sudden flood of dopamine and oxytocin.

    Oxytocin - often called the “cuddle hormone,” when the level is elevated, produces the pleasurable feeling of bonding or “connectedness,” as well as feelings of closeness, devotion and protection. It is the primary factor in establishing the basis for pair bonding.

    Basically, men are rewarded with dopamine by pursuing an orgasm and the dopamine grand prize is an orgasm itself. However, prolactin then kicks in and shuts down your dopamine buzz so the man can reset a new goal of distributing his gene pool to another female conquest. By not having an orgasm (combined with affection and pursuit), your dopamine levels are above average and because it is reset less often, your receptors are more sensitive too. So the escalated dopamine puts us in a good mood and supports all of the ways we want to improve ourselves help out wives / girlfriends and family. The oxytocin makes us want to be more affectionate which make us more horny which keeps the loop going.

    I think I read it on a meme on tumblr at some point: "Give a man an orgasm and he forgets about immediately. Withhold an orgasm from a man and he'll never stop thinking about it." So with chastity, you are always courting your woman and think how you have behaved in “courting mode” previously. So in chastity, you get a secure relationship but the constant romantic chase at the same time. As you’ve noticed here, chastity could be on the vanilla end of the spectrum or get way way kinky. You and your Mistress’ kinks will emerge and you’ll find it easier to communicate under these circumstances so you can take it wherever you want now that you’ve harnessed the male sex drive.

    Have fun!
     
  16. Ron33
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    Ron33 Member

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    I like that description, "courting mode", I think that is exactly it for a lot of men.
     
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  17. WhiteKnight
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    Not if you've only got a sore throat !
    And yes, if you're asking, I've been to work, the doctor's and even a hospital appointment all whilst caged.
     
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