What is the single most valuable lesson you have learned

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by sissyblueballs, Nov 9, 2018.

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  1. sissyblueballs
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    sissyblueballs Active member

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    About living in a Female Led Relationship?
    Me? Probably....think before I speak. My answer's can often time's be construed multiple way's, and not always in good way's.
     
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  2. Den737
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    Den737 Member

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    For me it's learning what Goddess expects from me. Over time now it has become a everyday thing to treat her the way she wants.
     
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  3. HeavyFeather
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    HeavyFeather Member

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    I’ve learned that Goddess is always right. Also, that she values my opinion when she asks for it, but that is not too often, so I really appreciate it when She does ask for it.
     
  4. Wonderwomanssub
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    Wonderwomanssub Active member

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    ive always been a good husband to my mistress and treated her well throughout our entire relationship. After asking for Chastity and an FLR lifestyle, for a while I was making it more about me than I was about her. I was more interested in the things I wanted to try versus taking our new adventure at Mistress's pace. I was pushing so hard for her to "explore" that I didn't realize how selfish and self centered I was being. What I've learned is the meaning of real patience and I've learned to be more emotionally transparent and open with mistress which in turn has made us both more open with each other. My takeaways are patience and very open communication.
     
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  5. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    I would have to say for me it’s also “Think before I speak “ but what @Wonderwomanssub says about patience and emotionaly transparency would be a very close second.
     
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  6. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    Just to be a decent person. That's all.
     
  7. cerebralguy
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    cerebralguy Member

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    The most difficult lesson is that it isn’t about my satisfaction—it’s about making satisfaction of her needs my purpose. Every time I put her needs first, I come closer to making her satisfaction mine as well. Enforced chastity makes this all very concrete—learning the satisfaction of kissing the bottom of her sneakers while she relaxes has taken the place of vanilla sex in my life. And feeling her satisfaction at my deep subjugation in that manner is the highest reward
     
  8. Ma’ams Slut
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    Ma’ams Slut OWNED, LOCKED, SUB TO MY LOVE MA’AM M

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    To be a better husband to her and also to be more available time wise and emotionally and more open with her

    I know it’s not one lol but it’s a combo of all them that make one
     
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  9. xcitedsisssy
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    xcitedsisssy cd/sissy michelle

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    The one thing, and it has taken some time to learn, is to not interrupt Mistress or others involved in a conversation with her until they have finished talking and then only if asked what I think or for my opinion on the matter. I will say it has made me a better listener.
     
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  10. Penney
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    Penney Active member

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    Learning not to be bossy.
     
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  11. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I would have to say the most valuable lesson so far, which I in turn try to pass on to others, is to let her drive. No I don’t mean the car, it’s an analogy.

    We (led with male chastity) sometimes have expectations, and sometimes we think they are driving too slow or fast or ignoring all the scenery along the way. We tend to tell them to speed up, turn here, do this do that, we are the ultimate backseat drivers.

    She lets me cum too often, she said she was going to unlock me but didn’t, I broke the rules but she didn’t punish me, I wanted this, I wanted that, I want, I want, I want. When you stop expecting things and just let her go to her destination, her route, her speed, you’ll both enjoy the trip a lot more.

    Of course all of this comes after you’ve both communicated your needs and desires, and you trust her that she will get you to your destination.
     
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  12. Ma’am M
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    Ma’am M Wife/KH of Ma’ams Slut, and the F in our FLR
    Verified Female

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    Being female centric is different from being female led. I always made the big decisions, controlled the direction of practical issues, and too often took for granted the opinions of my husband, maybe thinking they were of lesser value. That’s what my mother did to my father, so what did I know? But this is not conducive to a relationship. So I listen more and value the feelings and opinions of my husband, but we understand his role as sub. He is led by a Me and decisions are mine, but it is my role to listen in order to be a good leader.
     
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  13. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    to be quiet when im told to.
     
  14. Joey love
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    Joey love Active member

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    Although my relationship isn’t as deep into the lifestyle as most here it doesn’t matter. I’ve learned to be grateful for what I have
     
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  15. Kroskris
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    Kroskris New member

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    With only 36 days in my first chastity, I'm starting to realize how much I don't know. This forum has really helped me learn and explore. I want to thank you all this wealth of information.
     
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  16. Sexy Slave 69
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    Sexy Slave 69 Member

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    Be patient, enjoy the journey not the destination
     
  17. G42G
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    G42G Member

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    I learned how my eagerness was actually pushing her away. Putting her in control has brought us closer together. Being locked has allowed her to decide when things happen on her terms. It's been good to us so far and I'm looking forward to more surprises as we go on.
     
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  18. Calibob
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    Calibob Member

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    Humility. My greatest lesson on our journey has been to learn to put my ego aside and accept that I needed to change to make our wife led marriage work. Accepting her directions without overthinking them, and accepting her corrections as positives rather than negatives has been key to empowering my wife's growth as the dominant in our relationship.

    In my daily pledge to her I state, "I love, honor and adore you, and I submit to you in all ways. It is my ambition to make your life easier, to please you and to obey you with humility and grace. You are the cornerstone of my life, and I'm committed to your happiness." It is that second sentence that tightens my cage each morning, It never fails to stir my loins as I kneel, looking into her eyes, and say "obey you with humility and grace,"

    I would say patience and communication are extremely important. However, until I embraced that I had to set my ego aside and become more humble I believe my patience was lacking and my communication wasn't as honest as it could be.

    This is still a work in progress, and while I am tons better that I used to be I still have my moments of bombastic behavior. We have a "No Excuses" and no tolerance policy on some things. Attitude and tone of voice fall into that category. When i become impatient, my attitude and tone of voice become very un sub like, and she deals with it harshly.
     
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  19. gary170
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    gary170 Active member

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    My penis is no longer mine
     
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  20. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    I don't recall you writing before about your daily pledge. I'm very interested in learning more about it. Would you share it? How is it performed? Is there ritual involved? How did it come about? Has the content of the pledge changed over time? What was (and is) her role in it? Would be good for a new thread.
     
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  21. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    I also have tone of voice, sarcasm, and facial (eye-rolling, smirking, etc) issues that I need to work on. What specifically is your wife doing to hep you improve? Is it working?
     
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  22. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Member

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    I deal with a lot of the same issues myself. My mouth is my biggest problem. Most of the time my wife will let some of it slide, other times she'll lock my ball gag for the evening. That pretty much ends any smart mouth from me and leaves my jaws very sore. I have learned to stop reacting to what she's saying.

    Take it from me, the gag is very effective. It all started one day when she said she did not want to hear another word out of me and I'm pretty sure I asked why? That's when she went and got my gag and padlock. I was left to ponder that for the rest of the evening till bedtime.
    I'm learning!!
     
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  23. sissyblueballs
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    sissyblueballs Active member

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    To both @Rectrix and @Jail Bird, I have a very similar problem. In my case, I very often can't help myself, I simply can't. As soon as my clutch slips, I know it's to late to hit the brakes. I've gotten better at it over the years, but I sometimes wonder if I'll ever be able to control my outbursts.

    I have 7 pieces of Titanium holding my spine together and between the (sometimes) pain and the (sometimes) lack of sleep because of the pain, and the painkillers I (sometimes) take, things can get pretty sporty around here at times. To her credit, she shows remarkable patience and understanding, but even she has her limits.
    Thanks for the replies everyone, I'm glad to know I'm alone here :+1:
     
  24. Arti_Rao
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    Arti_Rao Member

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    Was reading and exactly thinking of these lines. How to overcome this situations.
    I'm locked frfm last 15 (longest on one go till now) still i feel that my behavior has not changed. Whatever way I'm trying deal with her is with the feeling that I'm licked n i have to be like this. Actually it should come from inside.

    Also i feel do all KHs of the caged kittens here are financially independent or bread earners. Can this to be a reason to take the control sooner and the caged ones become easily sub...
    All this going on my mind right now
     
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  25. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    Sounds like something we should try. I'll try to be man enough to mention it to my wife.
     
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