What is the end goal of online chastity?

They ask because it benefits them not you. The ones who never ask are the ones you should reward with a lock Miss Lucy.

 

I'm curious to see the responses since I can't think of anything that truly benefits you as the online keyholder- aside from maybe monetary gain if that's how you set up the arrangement.

As for the submissive, there's undoubtedly a big thrill in relinquishing control of one's most basic and natural urge to someone else... even more so when they're of the opposite sex. I'd imagine sending keys through the mail adds another layer of excitement, knowing that a release is always going to be a minimum of several days away.

 

I think at the end of the day, labeling one's self as submissive doesn't make them immune from misogynistic, objectifying behavior. There's very little incentive for these so-called submissives to treat an online domme as anything but a fetish-dispenser, much less an actual human being with wants, needs, and expectations for some degree of reciprocity. If you aren't willing to provide them with exactly what they want, they can easily ghost you and move on to someone else without a second thought.

Going back to the original question of what is the end goal for these types of guys? They're really just trying to achieve the illusion that someone of the opposite sex is controlling them (on their terms), humiliating them (again on their terms), and sadly at the root of it all...just paying attention to them.

 

There are some women who do enjoy humiliating and controlling men but you can't put that burden on anybody that you come across. You can find whatever you want really through a professional dominatrix but these men use the guise of, "you are only looking for my money" when dealing with a fetish worker, then shame them because they charge money.

 

For me I would like to get to the point where I no longer need the cage to train behaviour. I am significantly more loving and focused on my partner when I am caged and denied orgasm. I just am. When I cum, it resets. I try not to let it happen, but it does. Hopefully over time I can retain focus and be a better partner.

There was a time while we we're still dialing in the cage that it was painful to wear for days on end. I basically threw up my hands and said it just wasn't going to work. She did not allow that to happen, she kept it on me and we made more adjustments until we got the right fit. After that I knew this wasn't just me getting a silly fantasy of my own, it was both of us getting what we wanted.

At times it can feel like a game, mostly because I try and steer her towards my fantasies. It feels best when its not a game, when she is happy I am happy. Someday, I want to be able to have that relationship without the "training wheels".. but for now, I think I have a lot to learn.

 

The benefit to Lucy are almost non-existent if you're not close to her

But maybe dontate like 10 or 20$ to a charity of the key Holders chosing to get unlocked, in the key holders name

Then you could plan a date to get unlocked when you'll have the money to spare


Just a thought

 

I don't understand what anyone really gets out of online chastity tbh (this isn't an invitation for a lesson, the shit I don't get could fill the grand canyon).

I assume there are a small amount of women out there that enjoy having the power or control over the locked guys, you just don't appear to be one of them.

 

The rush of power, many had fallen into it, once you have some you want more and more, that's why politicians for example try to resist being one as much as they can, it may not be 100% for all ladies but i am sure it is a driving force for many

The other thing it is to make fantasies real, because now the keyholder has an advantage he/she could "abuse" some power to force the subject allowing the option to make it real, things like wearing panties (of course it is not desired by the subject) could happen, <<If you wear a panty all day i will allow you an unlock>> and finally happening. Without that power it wouldnt

So it is a mix of feeling power and fun

Thats of course for true passion keyholders, if you do for money the answer it is clear, you do for green paper

 

There are obviously more benefits to key-holding in person, but for some Dommes, holding keys online does satisfy a need they have. If online key holding isn't worth it to you, just don't do it. like lots of past times. Not every option is for everyone.

 

Currently I do self-locking and make sure the keys are out of reach for me. reason I do it is first for the kick and 2nd for training purposes. I still hope I will find someone who can accept chastity. Because I see a lot of benefits in it. One of my relations was lucking to have a girl who wanted this. At first i was like ok every two days a release and then be locked again. But over time I told her that I would prefer that she would be in control, and that she decide when I could be released and how.
So I learned to be a better lover, thinking of her orgasme instead of mine. But yeah she grow tiered of me and left.

I never tried online locking because I miss one crucial point is to serve the person who is holding my key, So yeah giving over control to someone online sounds kinda hot, but the Keyholder should also have benefits from doing this.

 

I certainly understand your point Miss L-U-C-Y. Unfortunately due to our personal circumstances some of us have very little option but to go online. I rely on adult call back services. It takes a lot of calls ( £££! ) before I find the right connection but when I do find someone like Miss Candy who specializes in KH and long term control its beneficial to both. She gets a guaranteed regular long term customer and I get controlled by someone I've posted a key to. With others in the past I've also backed up the benefit of the arrangement by sending the Lady something useful like Boots vouchers whenever I have some spare funds, and I certainly intend to please Miss Candy with this as well.
I wont pretend for one second that my arrangement compares with a face to face KH but Miss does get some benefit.
On a side Miss since joining yesterday I have fallen head over heels with this site. So well run with such wonderful people. Thankyou for everything you do

 

I'm fairly new here and I have the utmost respect for you. Both as a mistress and an obviously powerful woman. This little space you have created on the internet has had a profound effect on my life. You will never know how greatful I am. The discussions in this place have directly led to a rekindling of the relationship I have with my wife. That is priceless to me.

Ok so butt kissing out of the way. Into getting banned territory


The act of submission should be the primary reward a dom seeks. If you don't find this rewarding I would refuse all requests.

I agree that been inundated with requests will probably be very tiresome but it comes with the territory. For many people here you are Aphrodite incarnate. You fit perfectly into that fantasy shaped hole in their minds.
Now I know these week servile wannabes, will probably know little about what you the real person wants. Honestly, the answer is you probably want very little from these people anyway. But don't scorn them for the adoration that comes with the throne.

This post sounded very findomy to me. And I didn't think that's you was about.

In fact I had assumed the reason that you have offered a free keyholding service. was to offer a safe space for your subjects from the machinations of such people.
You can beat me for my insolence but you did ask what i think.

 

It doesn't sound findomy to me. It's asking a real question.

 

I am not sure why one would do it if there was not some kind of potential to meet and have a relationship. that said I am sure there are some that would be simply happy to deny men their habitual masturbation. I can see why that might be fun.

So why would you do it? if you like it and its fun thats why, if not then why would you spend your valuable time.

Mistress and I started as a online relationship 1000s of KM apart. We never expected to end up where we are now.

life is an adventure

 

For me personally online chastity is just a bit of fun. That is the same for my keyholder.
She's not interested in money and there's not a lot of practical use one can be online as you say.
In our case she enjoys denying men and rather than practical servitude she issues tasks for her amusement. Of course I can say no if it's outside of my limits. It's a game after all.
This works for us because we both see it as a bit of fun. As long as we are both enjoying the game it can continue.

I think if you're after serious practical uses then it probably only works in real life with people in a position to actually do things for you.
If there's nothing in the online dynamic for you then it's probably not worth doing.
You've made it clear on many occasions that you're not interested in hearing about people's fetishes and that's fine. Guys looking for that should learn to read and move on instead of trying to force you to play it their way or indulge their fantasies when you're not interested. Consent is key.

Despite what many people say on these forums I doubt that there are actually many guys out there who genuinely want to be enslaved or live a life of servitude full time.

 

Maybe apoint some underlings to administer a trial period. After graduation they can be write you a formal application letter.

 

Re the majority of women that the non paid role of keyholder appeals to... I'cant imagine them having that appeal satisfied by some guy she will never meet in person. Unless she gets off on just having that kind of control and making these guys dance to whatever tune appeals to her that day.

Other than of course for those that charge either cash or gifts for their 'attention'

Not entirely sure how these guys fuel their fantasies with such a woman let alone satisfy them.

But the one thing about this site is we are not too judgemental.
So we can generally happily leave each to their own.

 

For some it is a sex game, certainly. For others, maybe they are attracted to you, your personality, how you carry yourself.

My point is that a relationship can develop over time, as you interact, certainly in private.

But, if you don't get anything out of an online thing, that is certainly your prerogative.

 

And, to answer your main question, the goal of those for whom is it not just a titillation is probably to be kept chaste, simple as that.

Do not underestimate the attraction of having a woman whom you respect control your sexuality. It is a trust thing. It can be like a sacred vow. And, to break that trust would be a very high hurdle to overcome.