My wife and I have been into teasing and denial with my penis locked all the time. While my wife was in charge or sex, I was still the one leading the marriage. My wife is, was, very submissive and having someone doing things for your pleasure instead of theirs, can get difficult when you are trying to figure out what to decide so that she is pleased. Tonight she ordered me to do something. I asked her about it and she said that after sharing me with other women for most of our marriage, it was now her turn to take charge. What is strange is that for 44 years I have told her to just ask me and I will do anything she says. Her response tonight and as ever was that she should not have to tell me to do sometime. I should figure it out. That has been the trouble with my wife and why she would get emotional when things did not go her way. Things usually go my way because I asked for things. I do not expect anyone to give me something by reading my mind. She still says that she will not tell me to do anything but she did once tonight. One thing is that all of her friends are in their 70's and their husbands all have medical problems of some sort so their wives have had to take charge of their marriage. My wife has seen this for the last 6 years and I think it is finally sinking in. I know that the old hens talk to each other a lot and have noticed that my wife cannot commit to anything without checking with me first. My wife told me that after sharing me with her best friend and other women for 37 years of our marriage, it was now her turn to be in charge of our marriage. She reminded me of how she let me have sex with her girlfriends one on one, and was the one who invited her girlfriends into our bed. My wife is not that interested in sex although she will orgasm in under 3 minutes 99% of the time. Tonight she said she had a headache and fever. Yet she sat on my face, the first time she did that since her hip replacement a few years ago, grabbed my hair and rubbed herself against me until she had her orgasm. The first one came in a minute and was a small one. The next was much bigger and that came in the second minute. She then upped and left me alone. I do not know what to think. I do know that she went from calling sex without me having an orgasm, fake sex, but now she has no guilt and really does feel that sex is all about her, not me. I do like that my wife is becoming more assertive and I encourage it. It will never be a D/s marriage though. I do not know why guys think that switching to a female marriage means that their wives become their Mistress all of a sudden. When guys run the marriage they are not doing so by being a dom to their wives, so why should it be different the other way around? In our very large retirement community of over 150,000 seniors, many women are in charge of their marriage. I know that my memory keeps getting worse and worse. I think one word and type another without noticing it. I forget what I had for lunch or what I did yesterday. Guys have Prostate cancer and are on chemo or radiation. Some are recovering from heart attacks. The point is that most marriages around here, are female led and yet they are not doing it for sexual fetish reasons. I also know that my wife has a very low libido and her girlfriends only have sex with their husbands on their birthday and wedding anniversary, which would be OK with my wife too. The other big change I noticed in the last few weeks is that i am not getting horny at all despite no orgasm for 3 weeks. My wife has been training me to go longer and longer without an orgasm and it is working. Porn bores me and the days of me trying to get erect in my cage just by seeing a hot girl in a bikini on TV, are long gone. Could be old age and low testosterone. Up until we started chastity, I could not go more than a day without masturbating. I had to do so before I went to bed. I did it after a surgery in the hospital and when sleeping in barracks with 60 other men. Now I have no desire to do so. So I do not know what exactly is going one. My wife is not into becoming a Mistress. In fact she gets upset if I call her Mistress. I think my once virgin wife is finally learning that men can be controlled when you control their penis. Time will tell.
It seems to me a lot of women really enjoy sex but that doesn't mean they actively want it. For guys if you enjoy sex, it you want it. [I do appreciate that "orgasm" does not equal "enjoy" necessarily.] My wife told me about a close relative who said she is pleased to have got to the point where she doesn't have sex with her husband anymore. I said I thought that was sad as the intimacy is so lovely, but I guess she didn't enjoy it anymore or it was uncomfortable or something. My wife said no, that wasn't it, she just didn't want it. I said why then? My wife said "as a man you can't understand. You have hormones going crazy all the time." I left it at that. But it still seems odd if you enjoy doing something, not to want to do it. If you like seeing family, walking coastal paths, exercising in the gym, singing etc, you don't suddenly say "right, I'm not doing that anymore" for no apparent reason. So what actually is the reason here. Too much effort? Messy? But this could apply to the other things you enjoy, but you still do them. Something special about sex....