What happened when you handed over your keys?

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by IB-Chaste, Sep 30, 2022.

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How did things change when you handed over your keys?

  1. I saw a change in my KH. Sexual activity increased & do things they never showed interest in before

    27 vote(s)
    30.0%
  2. I saw a change in my KH. Sexual activity increased.

    7 vote(s)
    7.8%
  3. I saw no change in sexual activity from my KH. Relationship improved and so I am content in chastity

    21 vote(s)
    23.3%
  4. Sexual activity declined. Relationship improved and so I am content in chastity

    6 vote(s)
    6.7%
  5. No changes. Chastity will always be my kink not theirs.

    18 vote(s)
    20.0%
  6. No changes. Chastity fitted in well with what we already had.

    2 vote(s)
    2.2%
  7. Other. Please discuss.

    9 vote(s)
    10.0%
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  1. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Very sorry that you are experiencing this. That is a rough and rocky road. I'm not sure that I could survive a loss of physical intimacy; it is fear invoking just to consider that possibility as I read what you have written. I hope that you and your wife can find a way through together that brings you closer to each other and rekindles some form of physical intimacy.
     
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  2. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Long term member

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    That is soooo hard to read / hear. And I seem to notice that you are not alone by some of the other posts I read. I don't think others are as willing to post like you are and suspect there are more out there. I guess I should count myself very lucky that my wife responded as she did and that we were able to revive our sexless marriage and take it to levels we never reached before.

    Maybe to give you and others some hope. I have read research that says that the average age that a couple reports first having AMAZING extraordinary SEX is age 55! If you consider that this is an average, there are a whole lot who don't report experiencing it until their 60's or beyond! Don't give up! It's still possible!
     
  3. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    A little less sex for me overall but much more kinky sex in general. Dramatically enhanced dominance from my Wife and improved relationship. We work better when she's in charge, much less micro-aggression and clashing. Chastity is far and away her favorite kink, she's embraced it totally and she'll keep me locked up for use forever, there is no doubt about that.
     
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  4. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    I think this reflects the reduction of the socialized pressure that shapes and affects our women to submit to our cocks and honor them and not be so-called cockteases. This toxic pressure affects their confidence and strength in other parts of their life, even outside the bedroom. Once they no longer have to honor the penis they begin to see confidence and independence grow, sort of on the order of 'if I can be free of that erect thing what else can I be free of?' Our erectile toxicity affects our women too, and freeing ourselves by locking ourselves frees them too.
     
  5. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    I wouldn’t go as far to quite agree to this. It may be in some circumstances.
    I’ve seen positive changes in my wife. Slightly more dominant, definitely more confidant. This has shown in her work life and from being stagnant in her role for years she’s suddenly been promoted and touted for going way beyond her current level.
    I’d put this down to two things. One being place in the dominant role at home - or more correctly accepting her dominant role at home. It was always her natural disposition. The lack of resistance gives her the confidence to which she takes into daily life outside of the home life.
    Secondly, as the saying went ‘behind every good man, there is a good woman’, when the roles are reversed and life at home becomes more directed to their own needs the KH has that support and lack of duty so that they can pursue other aspects in life.
    Although, it may appear that this backs up the statement… I’d say if anything my wife would like more of my erect thingy :p. She just knows better!
     
  6. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    My Wife likes the control over me that chastity gives her. But in a sense, I think it's freeing to her. With her husband's cock locked away, she doesn't have to worry about keeping me satisfied or letting me penetrate her when she's not in the mood. That ability to decide what she wants to do with her body has to be very liberating for her.
     
  7. MtnViper
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    MtnViper Long term member

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    I agree except for the use of the word "toxic;" that is new age woke-ism.

    In that vain, there is also "toxic femininity," which is basically some women use their elevated social status, they are placed on a pedestal and worshiped as vestal virgins in Western culture, to manipulate men. Men are programmed to come the aid of damsels in distress, even though extreme feminism dictates women don't need men for anything. Some women dress to control and manipulate men.

    Women may feel obligated to have sex to keep their partner from straying, 24/7 chastity removes that possibility.

    Women may not like the fact that their partner masturbates, doesn't need them for sexual release, or doesn't seek them out for sex first, even if they aren't interested. They may seek attention and affection, not sex. It is a complex subject.

    Women sometimes choose a partner to fulfill nonsexual needs, which results in problems stemming from sexual incompatibility. As a woman's/couple's life and hormones change over time, the incompatibility may develop.

    Years ago I told a young attractive female coworker that she let her partners get away with too much. Later speaking to a male coworker older than myself, I learned he had told her the same thing. Young women allow men to get away with a lot of bad behavior, and a lot of this is built into society. Men may do the same of women.
     
  8. Bound4life
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    Bound4life Long term member

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    Curious about before chastity the agreement was you got sex whenever you wanted. Was that an acutual agreement, she was willing to keep you pleasured whether or not she had any interest? Of did she just really enjoy making you orgasm like you enjoy making her orgasm now? Did you also get it however you wanted it, PIV, BJ, HJ etc?
     
  9. true42
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    That was our deal. It's a long story, with too many personal details to share (and we barely avoided a divorce).

    Anyhow, to avoid the divorce, she agreed to always take care of my sexual needs (not necessarily the details of every desire though ... she didn't really care to go down on me for example). I'm not defending the person who I was; I'm truly ashamed of how shitty a husband I was. Looking back, I'm so glad our marriage survived, and I'm super glad we discovered this lifestyle.

    The shoe is on the other foot now (just for the last few years), and she now completely rules the roost. I've never had fewer orgasms. I've never done more housework. At the same time, (and I can't believe this is how it actually works out), I have never been more in love with her, and I have never been more content with my position in life. It's weird to feel content, but I do.

    I really don't know how I got this lucky. My wife loves and appreciates me, and I absolutely worship, obey, respect, and adore her. She's happy with me, and there's no word that can sum up how positively I feel about her ("happy" doesn't begin to do it justice).

    It's not smooth sailing. We have issues like any couple (although I never argue or disrespect her anymore, so our issues are mainly due to external stresses that can keep us from enjoying our personal relationship). And we have kids, so life is always complicated. But she totally knows that she has me under her complete control, and that I am 100% hers. It's pretty cool.
     
  10. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    Wow dude, that's some turn-around, well done.
     
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  11. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    I am fairly certain that at least 99% of the credit goes to my wife. But I can check with her, just in case :D
     
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  12. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    In fact, you may get punished for not crediting her with 100%, so watch out.
     
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  13. tecolote
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    tecolote Long term member

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    I think success rates are pretty low. Most guys give up or at least don't discuss it much. Most of the guys who stick around are success stories or people with reasons for hope.
     
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  14. true42
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    I totally agree with you.

    I stuck around in case I could encourage others.
     
  15. JuniorLeon
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    JuniorLeon Active member

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    I totally agree my focus is on her haven't masturbated since being caged, don't watch porn anymore our daily life and sex life have been enriched by chastity
     
  16. littleguy3
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    littleguy3 Long term member

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    When I handed over the keys, our sex life together was resurrected from the dead. We went from no sex together to more and better sex than when we were first married, all without me experiencing orgasms very often. Our first week with her holding the key we barely slept at all and we were exhausted. After 7 months of her holding the key, things have finally slowed down but we are physically intimate far more frequently than at any other time in our 43 years of marriage. The important thing is she's getting more out of our marriage and from me in every area of life. She's happy, content, confident, and more in control. And I've had fewer orgasms (6) duing this time than in any similar time period since I was 10 years old. The first couple were more powerful than anything I've ever experienced. One of those O's was a partial ruined O the last time I cheated and the only solo O since she's had the keys (5 1/2 months ago). She keeps me charged up with frequent teasing. My behavior has improved significantly but, to be honest, I didn't realize how often I treated her badly or upset her. Now I'm aware constantly and am devastated when I hurt her or make her angry.
     
  17. true42
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    I've had the opposite, but my wife is happy with the results, so I'm happy. I'd say that we are 80-90% fewer Os for me than when we started, but my wife feels way less stress about sex and enjoys it much more (it's pretty obvious), and that is a fair trade-off as far as I'm concerned.

    This mirrors my own experience. I have learned to be truly respectful and a much better listener. I am also a much better helpmate, and I have transitioned from the head of the household to becoming a very obedient husband. It just feels natural now.
     
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  18. Deleted member 96384
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    It has been slow in our relationship, but she carry’s the keys and now has started demanding my lock ups. She locked me 4 days ago. This morning I was to kneel and ask to be unlocked, which I was denied. Informed me she will play with me this weekend while I’m strapped down. I will be allowed to orgasm inside her, and I will need to clean up my mess while she sits on my face. Things are going well.
    All in all, I believe only if both in the relationship will participate at a level will the relationship survive. If not. Better part ways.
     
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  19. Jay Sub
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    Jay Sub Long term member

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    Sex is better. Not more often, probably less, but only because I put a stop to obligation sex. Arguments are settled much quicker. Communication is much improved. Intimacy is better the longer I'm denied.
     
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  20. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Sex with my wife who is also my keyholder, is like no other sexual relationship either of us have ever had. Our mind sets are different, our expectations are different, and our needs are different.

    So yes everything changed. We went from having sex nearly every night(had only been dating a few months before chastity entered the situation), to 6 years later of a handful of times a year.

    I will go over her pros and cons
    -never feeling obligated or guilty about providing sexual gratification to a partner.
    -never worrying about partner putting penis near another.
    -never worrying about partner touching himself instead of her.
    -partner is devotedly passionate about her every desire without needing to reciprocate.
    -partner is so hypersensitive that when partner enters her, he doesn’t take more than a few seconds to finish. Which makes her feel wanted and powerful.
    -con: she enjoys pleasing her partner and seeing him finish.
    -con: she misses being able to spontaneously touch her partner without involving a key.
    -con: she sometimes misses being with an assertive masculine take charge partner. Someone that decides how far, what is done, what position, or make her submit.

    Our lovemaking is 90 percent her pleasuring herself with toy while I caress or kiss her. Since starting this journey she has stumbled on some of her own kinks and we’ve explored them as well. Spanking and paddling me turned into something that made her dripping wet with desire. She thoroughly enjoys telling me what to do and how to perform. She even gets off on a bit of dirty talk, where as before she played the submissive “I’m you’re dirty slut”, and now she enjoys telling me what I am going to do, that she misses real cock, and that if I was bigger she certainly wouldn’t keep me locked for very long

    I think the more important question when it comes to sex and partners…are you talking? Do you discuss what you like and dislike? Do you say which things you feel are needed and what things are wanted but not necessary? Couples that communicate can make any kind of sex fun, new, and important.
     
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  21. madams-sissysub
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    I never handed over my keys, my madam always had them!
     
  22. Cagedhighlander1966
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    Cagedhighlander1966 Married and caged 24/7

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    My wife was has never been a sexual being, so much so that it could be a month between any sexual activities, so me being more highly sexed I ended up playing with myself and being circumcised I lost sensitivity , so when we did have sex I couldn't cum which made her feel bad, so after talking about it we thought putting me in a cage would help, now when we have sex which is now every 3 weeks or so , sometimes only 2 weeks, not only am I extra sensitive but I cum harder than I have in years. So a big yay for chastity.
     
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