What happened when you handed over your keys?

Discussion in 'Chastity in vanilla life' started by IB-Chaste, Sep 30, 2022.

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How did things change when you handed over your keys?

  1. I saw a change in my KH. Sexual activity increased & do things they never showed interest in before

    27 vote(s)
    30.0%
  2. I saw a change in my KH. Sexual activity increased.

    7 vote(s)
    7.8%
  3. I saw no change in sexual activity from my KH. Relationship improved and so I am content in chastity

    21 vote(s)
    23.3%
  4. Sexual activity declined. Relationship improved and so I am content in chastity

    6 vote(s)
    6.7%
  5. No changes. Chastity will always be my kink not theirs.

    18 vote(s)
    20.0%
  6. No changes. Chastity fitted in well with what we already had.

    2 vote(s)
    2.2%
  7. Other. Please discuss.

    9 vote(s)
    10.0%
Random Thread
  1. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    Something I’ve been pondering since I joined.

    I see a lot of optimistic posts of men wanting chastity to enhance their sex life; ultimately increasing their KH’s sex drive and elevating their desires to fulfil more kinky desires. I also see a lot of men on here who have had positive rewards by their partner through their partners journey into keyholding. Some have received very different results than they ever expected.

    It hard to gauge levels of success from searching the posts, so what really happens when you hand over your keys?
     
  2. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Long term member

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    My submission opened up bottled feelings about being more feminine.
     
  3. smatthew.smith11
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    smatthew.smith11 Mistress Mandi's Gurl

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    For us, chastity was a way to help disconnect my male anatomy from my brain. I live a very feminine life and so it is a tool that just helps enhance that lifestyle. For us Chastity didn't increase sex or playing in the bedroom but it didn't decrease it either. It just changed how we played and loved. If anything, it increased/enhanced the emotions because there was never that random release because of a random erection, or because you were bored and wanted to go jerk off. I know for some based on what people have shared with me here, it helps enhance their relationship as a whole because it forces the man to not be selfish, not to think with his penis. It forces them to be more attentive to their partner's needs rather than focusing solely on their own needs/desires. By forcing restraint, it seems to create more passion towards their partner which ultimately leads to more attention and affection being shown. I think it's probably safe to say that this alone will help make any relationship better as the woman is getting the attention she deserves not just during sex, but around the clock. I know this isn't the case for all and that's why I'm looking forward to hearing others responses because each one of our journey's is unique!
     
  4. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i dint hand any key over cos Mistress had got it.
     
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  5. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    For us chastity definitely changed our sex life. We do a lot of kinky stuff, but we’ve always had that in us. So it didn’t bring out anything new or anything she wouldn’t have done before (it’s still early days so you never know which way things may go). I’d say she’s done these things more frequently than we used to but the really only addition she’s made is the cum drinking. Which we had a variation of already which she often likes to remind me of.

    We’ve experimented more in the bedroom but more aimed at the lesser side of the extremes. Probably found out way more about how we each like to be pleased, even by doing less. Which is pretty satisfying.

    Overall, the frequency of our sexual activity has reduced but that’s as we’ve cut out the more mundane ‘pass the time’ sort of sex.

    Our relationship outside of the bedroom has improved. It was never bad. But I can see her ability to grow in life far more now. We share far more quality moments than we ever have done before. She actually described it as “bliss”.


    It’s intriguing to see that it affects relationships in such varied ways. Im actually already quite surprised by how this poll is going!
     
  6. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Long term member

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    My sexual desire increased but generally, my wife becomes more ‘lazy’ and makes even less effort sexually.
    This time, I so, so hope it will be different…
     
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  7. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    What do you mean by "this time", have you started a new phase of chastity or something? And may I ask, where does your profile pic come from, it's very good!
     
  8. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Long term member

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    No keys in your hands!
     
  9. Anonoman
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    Anonoman Long term member

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  10. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 4/9

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    I think the biggest thing my wife got was relief. Relief from whatever sense of “duty” she might have had.
     
  11. Onthehorizon
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    Onthehorizon Dabbling with chastity

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    Nothing much has changed for me, my wife was just entertaining me and the keys would normally just stay in the drawer.
    So far I’ve opted to maintaining my chastity without a cage. It’s a lot tougher but it’s too weird for her so I won’t pressure her with my kinks.

    I may try again at a later stage in life or maybe self lock and just unlock when she wants to get intimate.

    P.S. don’t believe everything you read on here, a lot of folks are in fantasy land and like to exaggerate their experiences, and others are just straight up lying.
    Don’t get yourself down if you can’t live out your fantasy just yet.
    Everything has it’s appointed time and yours will come.
     
  12. Lckdnpnk
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    Lckdnpnk Long term member

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    Mine, too. I think that’s what set her free to enjoy herself more when we play.

    This happened for us. She wasn’t interested the first time years ago but this time she was ready.
     
  13. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Long term member

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    All of these things were and are true for us. Being chaste opened me up emotionally to my wife and allowed me to share my feelings and (some of) my fantasies with her. And that openness also improved the love and tenderness and intimacy in our relationship outside the bedroom. And knowing that I am locked and happy also eliminated her guilt about needing to fuck me, eliminated the need for duty sex. Now she knows I identify as a masturbator and is happy to supervise my masturbation every few months or give me a handjob, and has no guilt about keeping me pussy-free.
     
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  14. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i got a key to the side gate and the back door of the house but the key to my little plate thing is in Mistress bag.
     
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  15. Bound4life
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    Bound4life Long term member

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    For me the wife was never kinky. When I showed her my first device she didn't seem to care for it. Though the years I self locked and she was eventually willing to hold my keys. Now she seems to enjoy holding my keys but I still mostly self lock. I never know when she will let me out once I give her the keys. I would say our sexual frequency has not changed, we always seem to ebb and flow, but I think she enjoys when I please her and she doesn't feel she has to please me. In the past she always felt obligated to sexually please me if I was pleasing her. Now she realizes that sometimes not pleasing me is what I want so she feels better about it.

    She decides when to let me out to have sex with her, and it is always after I first give her an orgasm. Then she decided to let me be free or lock back up after I clean myself. Only once has she told me to lock up...and I enjoyed that, she just let me out from that sentence 2 days ago and told me to keep the cage off for now.
     
  16. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    I didn't hand over the keys, they disappeared.

    They were on her bedside table, then they weren't. It was THAT moment, when it became real. It was no longer a fantasy. It was the start of a process where she gained confidence in her control. As she took greater control, the frequency of our sexual encounters increased dramatically. I didn't get to finish, but man she did.
     
  17. Jail Bird
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    Jail Bird Long term member

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    I guess that's the way it's supposed to be. :)
     
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  18. IB-Chaste
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    IB-Chaste Long term member

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    So, looking at this unless others have a different opinion of the figures:
    Roughly 50% of people who stay in chastity experience new things sexually.
    Rightly 50% of people do it because they see an improvement in their relationship.

    Only 1 in 5 of the dedicated (those remaining in the site despite their KH not being interested) does Chastity not work out.
    80% of the time, it works every time!

    Interesting.
     
  19. Chaste Bear
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    Chaste Bear Long term member

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    Was having sex roughly once a week, this is now 3-4 times a week, granted I'm only released about once a fortnight. My KH has also derived a lot of confidence from locking me up and has carried this over into daily life which is great to see.
     
  20. John Runknown
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    John Runknown Member

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    I found I get to give her oral more often and she likes sex with other men more which i like to watch so its been a win win.
     
  21. smatthew.smith11
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    smatthew.smith11 Mistress Mandi's Gurl

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    I find it rather interesting how some chastity relationships improve life outside of the bedroom such as this. I have heard multiple stories about how it allows the KH to become a more dominant/confident person outside of the bedroom which in turn allows them to be more successful in society itself. Its funny how large of an effect such a tiny cage can have on ones life / relationship. I know not all situations are this way but its nice to hear the positive outcomes it can have not just in but also outside the bedroom.
     
  22. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    "Sexual activity declined. Relationship improved and so I am content in chastity"

    Before chastity, we had an agreement: Sex whenever I wanted it. Which was (minimum) every day. That was only a couple of years ago now.

    After chastity: It seems to be about once a week now (not entirely certain because I'm not supposed to keep track of it). Only she initiates, and I never ask or bother her about sex. But she is really loving the sex when she chooses to have it. Amazing orgasms, and she's even getting comfortable allowing herself to make some noise. And even when we have sex, I may not get to cum.

    I'm very much smitten. And I'm becoming a better husband. She's much happier with me now, too.
     
  23. hopefulhubby
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    hopefulhubby Active member

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    No changes. Chastity will always be my kink not theirs.

    Seems to be quite a proportion in my category. In my case my wife didn't/doesn't care for sex at all. I introduced chastity as a way of breaking my masturbation habit and getting closer to her. She gave it a go but it didn't lead to any sex. She told me she hated the look of it and the chore of having to unlock me every week for a deep clean. Told me to not wear it again.
     
  24. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    Damn, that's rough. How is your relationship, other than sex? Is her lack of desire mainly a consequence of aging (e.g. menopause)? Or is there something else involved?
     
  25. hopefulhubby
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    hopefulhubby Active member

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    See https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/an-uphill-struggle.47947/

    tl;dr - Menopause plus not being able to find me sexually attractive. Discussions about it were shut down pretty quickly. Relationship is pretty good otherwise.
     
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