What are the major stages in the chastity lifestyle?

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Mr M, Jan 16, 2018.

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  1. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    #26 El Guapo, Jan 19, 2018
    Part Deux ...

    B) Wife/Mistress.

    1. I brought TND to her life - so the first stages was me training her - haha! Getting her interested in this was not easy - at first she just did it for me. She didnt really understand why I loved it.

    2. She totally appreciated my Servitude. Again, it took a while before she could understand what drove my desire & willingness. I guess this isnt really a 'stage' per se.

    3. Eventually she started to have some fun with TND herself. She found herself starting to enjoy how crazy she could make me by making my orgasms less frequent. She also started to 'bargain' with me when she knew I was in a state of not being able to think clearly. [I actually LOVE this part]

    4. I started to become 'high maintenance'. Bugging her for more orgasms. Clearly I was still thinking about my own wants and putting them before hers. I thoroughly enjoy putting her first - and nearly at all times, do. Its when I have gone beyond desperate that I have trouble (which by the way, I both love it & cant stand). Most of the time I could hold out until I recieved permission - but if I was going to cave in to my desires, it would be here.

    Putting her first at all times has been the most difficult 'lesson' for me! I could use some help here.

    5. Mistress put her foot down. She dusted off the 'contract' & made some modifications ... chiefly: "You are never allowed to ask, beg or imply that you want to masturbate or have an orgasm - disturbing my calm with this sort of thing, even once, would be dire."

    That sure shut me down from being 'high maintenance' - but it also led to more instances or me not being faithful to the Honor System. It isnt often - but since we both agreed that all my O's should be with her, this has been a significant breach of trust.
    [Don't get me wrong - overall we have an absolutely wonderful relationship!]

    6. The future. Chastity. A Lori's device is on order. My wife will hold both keys.
     
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  2. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    #27 Jasmic68, Jan 19, 2018
    I am really enjoying this thread. It is really interesting reading both the similarities and differences in the stages from how I experienced them that other people have had.

    One key stage I don’t think I wrote about in my response was when my Wife got me to read How to set up an FLR to her. The book really chimed with her, particularly in the way it discussed different styles of FLR. It showed her that we can basically be very nearly equals but still be in an FLR, that it isn’t a huge amount of effort on her part.

    We are still in a stage where I am convincing her that this isn’t a game to me, that this is truly what I need. Not that she treats it like a game. I am also in a stage where I need to truly accept that I cannot even suggest any sexual activity as this is the one thing I am struggling with more than any other. I follow the rule but I so wish it wasn’t so difficult.
     
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  3. Mr M
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    Mr M Find yourself, find peace; find others, find joy.

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    #28 Mr M, Jan 19, 2018
    Great illustration with the one word summaries and dialog style. It was like a mini play on chastity submission. Interesting to see your KH take up your initial request and take the lead. Quite the partnership of ideas and leadership. Awesome.
     
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  4. Mr M
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    Mr M Find yourself, find peace; find others, find joy.

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    #29 Mr M, Jan 19, 2018
    Was it about the chastity kink only, or does your wife get services and benefits from your locked state?
     
  5. Mr M
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    Mr M Find yourself, find peace; find others, find joy.

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    #30 Mr M, Jan 19, 2018
    What inspired the short cage stage? Was it enhancing the domination?
     
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  6. Mr M
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    Mr M Find yourself, find peace; find others, find joy.

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    #31 Mr M, Jan 19, 2018
    I am glad you mentioned your learning and how an important part of the chasity dynamic is developing slowly and finding those mutual benifits. Although they tend to be oriented to the dominant.
     
  7. Mr M
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    Mr M Find yourself, find peace; find others, find joy.

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    #32 Mr M, Jan 19, 2018
    The seed of my kink started before my KH, too. I dated a very dominant woman who was basically FLR without knowing it. Denial and submission was her desire, but it was not mature so it was pretty messy. She also likely would have wanted to be a hot wife. Being so young and having no maturity or structure led to its end. But my appreciation and desire for the dynamic started there. Maybe a good topic for a new thread.
     
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  8. zebra
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    zebra Member

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    #33 zebra, Jan 19, 2018
    yes I think some of it was the kink chastity - she never really could understand why I would want to put a cage on
    I tried to tell her how I felt wearing it - the emotions I was feeling -- but she still didn't understand.
    I tried to express how I felt while being locked and getting her off ..
    I tried books we talked it just didn't do anything for her.
    After 12 years she puts up with my chastity
    As long as I get her off when she wants was really the condition talked about. Most of the time noting said about me being lock. So I self lock with online kh since my wife has no interest in kh
    So yes she gets the services and my helpfulness 24/7.
    She sees that part of the chastity but she has not tied it to chastity as the reason
    We have not had PIV in about 3 years - she prefers hands and toys to get her O
     
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  9. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    #34 jemima, Jan 19, 2018
    i cant rember there being a stage really. Mistress knows another Lady and She has got Her hubby lock in a cage and he cooks and does things so when i come and live with Mistress and was the maid i was locked in one as well but it hurt a bit that one but now i has 2 comfy ones.
     
  10. masohedo
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    masohedo Long term member

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    #35 masohedo, Jan 20, 2018
    Yes Mr M it is a further step in the domination by taking away the partial erections and limiting it to a hardening ,struggeling sensation,where only ocasionally the tip can be stimulated and there is only anal drainage .
     
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