We’re on the road to…

Another phone update so the spellings going to be 'interesting'...
A week on from where I was last time. Was away with work and no lock up. I descided that I would not ask again if my wife had read "A key holders guide..." and also I'd not lock my self up unless she asked. Well, two days later she asked if I was, I said no and she said that was OK. But my wife then dropped loads of hints about having sex that night - she hasn't done that for YEARS!
Yesterday I was asks to lock up but then sex again in the evening. Twice in two night - that's more than we've done in months!
We also had a good chat about it all. I said I'd like her to be more force full and not leave it to me to volunteer, which was something she hadn't thought made a difference. Also I said we where now well over the original 7-10 days I'd suggested we played over. My wife replied we'd started again - very exciting she's making the rules up now!
We're on holiday next week so that will be a week off, I feel quite disappointed.

 

If it was just the two of us it could be an amazing experience of a week of T&D. Unfortunately we're off with out two young children and will be squashed in our old caravan. It will probably rain and they will probably get board and start screaming.
Sadly today there hasn't been any T&D - I got home and my wife was out so got changed and put my cage on. She got back and didn't ask for the key so had to volunteer it again.

 

This morning I volunteered to wear it to work. This was something I that was an absolute no-no to me only a few weeks ago. But I’ve been locked up all weekend, ever weekend and now I sort of miss not having it on. So I volunteered. Unfortunately my wife said no. I said that I really didn’t mind, if she wanted me to, but she didn’t. She said she’d keep it in mined…

This evening my wife has gone out with a friend, it must be the first time in probably a year. I volunteered to lock myself up, but again no was the answer. Slightly disappointed. I was told that being told not to put it on was as much as the game as to when to put it on. OK point taken, but still disappointed! So… I need to be a good boy tonight.

On the plus side I’ve been researching books and have purchased a copy of “A key holder’s handbook” by Georgia Ivey Green (I assume that’s not a real name!). It seemed to have a reasonable amount of ‘hint dropping’ about teasing and denial and wasn’t written around setting up a FLR. I’m quite happy, and want to be, sexual submissive to my wife but to me the submissive side stays ‘in the bedroom’… well, you get what I mean!

 

Things have taken quit a change! I’ve just passed the one month of almost constant lock-up. I did a couple of weeks of being told to take it off only when I went to work and then we went on holiday. I had been told that I wouldn’t be wearing it as it would be too difficult to be discreet in a small caravan with two young children. Well, I was asked if I could keep it hidden, I said yes, and so I was told to keep it on! I was however told to take it off for the afternoon we went to the beach, which was very reasonable.

One evening we were indulged in some play, I was asked to use my fingers and then to get the vibrator out. My cage was then removed but I’m finding that once the initial urge to have an erection has passed, it’s then difficult to get one later. This happened that night. So much so that my wife said that she thought I better put my cage back on. I was a little forward and touched my self and after a few minutes it got hard. My wife started edging me but in my excitement I asked if we could try for a ruined orgasm. Long(er) story cut short, I think I had one – it was certainly without very much pleasure and there was very little velocity behind it! The issue was that I’d asked and I’d put pressure on my wife to do something that she may not have wanted.

I had also been reading Jasmic68’s Love and Denial – Year 2 blog and came across the extract from the chastity rules/agreement, specifically where it specifies where it is acceptable to make intimate contact but not to turn it sexual without consent. I think over the years my wife has started to avoid being romantic or just playful as I would take it as a ‘green light’ to go straight into foreplay and a short version at that. I decided to write my own rules. Slightly apprehensively I told my wife about these. She was slightly surprised and said she wanted to review them so I told her they were not to ‘dis-empower’ her, in fact quite the opposite, and where more to stop me from being overly suggestive in behaviour or wanting to talk about it all the time. We looked at them that evening and agreed them all, even adding a few new ones! I’ve included them below:

The definition of a Game is the period of time during which physical security arrangements are in place or temporarily removed to allow other activities. During this time the rules below shall be followed.

The length of the Game shall be at the discretion of the Key-Holder however a Game will automatically stop after 12 hours of non-enforcement. The Key-Holder may start a new Game 12 hours after the previous game has finished.

The Secured may instigate physical contact at appropriate times e.g. cuddling, kissing of lips, touching waist/back/shoulders. The Key-Holder may give permission for further contact. In the bed room the Secured may request permission to pleasure the Key-Holder. The Key-Holder has final say over all contact.

The Secured shall not engage in any activity or achieve release without the Key-Holders permission.

The Key-Holder shall principally consider her needs at all times. The Secured shall immediately undertake any activity or request to meet these needs at request from the Key-Holder.

Behaviour or activities may incentivise or reward at the Key-Holder discretion. The Secured shall also submit to any corrective actions deemed appropriate by the Key-Holder.

The Secured may request access once every 48 hours for cleaning and maintenance of appearance to the satisfaction of the Key-Holder and this may be supervised at the decision of the Key-Holder.

The Key-Holder is responsible for the physical and mental health of the Secured at all times and shall take appropriate steps to ensure this is maintained. The Key-Holder shall request feed-back from the Secured at least once per week. The Secured shall ask permission to discuss any aspect of the Game at any other time. A ‘safe-word’ may be used at any time during the Game to instigate an emergency conversation following which the Secured reserves the right to pause the Game.

The Secured shall not tamper with the security equipment and shall inform the Key-Holder of any damage or malfunction immediately. The Key-Holder may request photographic evidence of integrity of the security equipment and this shall be sent within 30 minutes by the Secured.

The Secured shall maintain total discretion of the security equipment at all times.

Non-compliance of any rule shall result in appropriate punishment by the Key-Holder.

Once signed, both the Key-Holder and Secured must both agree on any changes to the above rules.

The Secured shall abide by the above rules until the end of 2017.

 

Sometimes it’s one step forward, one and a half back… My wife and I have noticed that after unlocking me, it was getting difficult for me to get an erection. Now I’d just put this down to performance anxiety but it’s been getting worse. We had a chat the other night about it and my wife started to get worried that we were going to do permanent damage to me. A quick look on the internet seemed to suggest that this is possible and also how long and hard an erection is can also suffer. Now I’ve read lots of posts here that say the other but…!

We’ve decided to give it a rest for a short while and see if things return to normal. Personally I think they have already as 24hrs later we had fantastic PIV sex on the floor. We have also agreed to play for shorter periods but to make them more intense. Sounds like a win-win to me!