Was I wrong

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Bryce411, Oct 2, 2022.

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  1. Bryce411
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    Bryce411 Active member

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    One of the rules I have to follow as my Queen's pet is that I will not drink without permission.

    On my furlough before Locktober, I went to the market to make a very special dinner. I don't cook all that well but I have one dinner that rocks: bacon wrapped beef medallions, Caesar Salad, baked potato and cheesecake.

    I also got flowers. I wanted a it to be a date night on steroids, so I also bought a bottle of sangria for her because that's the only thing I've ever seen her drink and a fifth of Buffalo Trace whiskey bourbon for myself which is my favorite distilled beverage.

    She was not pleased that i got the whiskey for myself.

    She asked me what the rule is and i told her that is is that I'm not to drink without permission but there was the bottle, unopened, so I haven't had a drop and won't until and unless I got permission.

    I didn't get permission and the bottle has gone missing, so I probably won't get permission which is a shame because it is mighty tasty and also a bit pricy.

    Okay I expected due to the special night to get permission, but I don't think just buying a bottle was even pushing the envelope.

    So was I wrong?
     
  2. LockedGreg
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    LockedGreg Active member

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    Yeah, I don't think you were wrong. I think her reaction was unreasonable, but this is a fetish site and you are to be in a high protocol relationship, so who knows what the actual answer will be.
     
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  3. LockedVince
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    LockedVince Member

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    In my house the simply answer to ‘Am I wrong?’ Is yes. Because she is never wrong. That is what we agreed on and how we live.
    If you are not happy with that you need to talk about it as you both have to be consenting and agreeing.
     
  4. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    We’re you wrong? No. Was she right? Yes. The two are not contradictory. I am no expert on women, but I do know that logic doesn’t have to be a part of there perception of events. The other point is that it doesn’t really matter if they are “right” in their feelings…they feel a certain way and that’s the way they feel and that’s it. They aren’t wrong for feeling that way. You are right for wanting what you want.
     
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  5. JaySaysYes
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    JaySaysYes Level-4 Sarcasm Master, PhD in Google, Ace Pedant.

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    Did you drink? No.

    So, no rules broken and she is being unreasonable, unable to remember her own rules. She needs to write out "I will apply my own rules fairly" 1,000 times and apologise to you.
     
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  6. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    You may need to talk to your partner. You've posted elsewhere about a spanking that didn't work out. You seem to be on a collision course. Good luck
     
  7. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    I'm with Jay on this one.
     
  8. Oscarowitz
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    Oscarowitz Junior Member

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  9. Oscarowitz
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    Oscarowitz Junior Member

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    Absolutely not.
     
  10. Bryce411
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    Bryce411 Active member

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    She didn't accuse me of breaking a rule and no punishments were issued.

    But after the soaking fiasco wherein she admitted to no actual fault but that she should have started off slower and she might have chosen her words differently, the lost bottle reappeared and I was permitted a double shot before bed.

    So I ended up with what I wanted and she apparently is sorry even if she didn't say so explicitly.

    Which is good because I have a big ask very soon and as long as she is being lenient, I am going to be in my very best behavior.
     
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  11. nikkel
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    nikkel Long term member

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    So Lets see .. The rule is you don't drink unless your Queen says you can.. Why would She have made that rule ?? probably because she doesn't like the way you are when drinking .. ( the only logical reason I can see ) So to try and be sneaky by bringing a bottle home without being told to.. , you thought you'd manipulate your Queen into letting you drink.. The fact that the bottle is missing ,and it has you upset, just confirms my suspicions . YOU ARE WRONG !!
     
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  12. Bryce411
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    Bryce411 Active member

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    Well, except for getting a beer when I was first dating her at B-Dubs she has not ever seen me drinking, and I've never been drunk since long before I met her.

    One beer is not enough to alter my behavior so much that she wouldn't like it when I drink.

    About a month ago during intermission at Hamilton, she asked me to get her a red wine and I asked if I could have one too. She said yes.

    Last week at the Bengals-Dolphins watch party she had at her home, there was beer a plenty and I didn't have one because I didn't want to ask for permission with others around, though I wanted one.

    And then last night she offered me a double shot of the Buffalo Trace.

    So she's not against me drinking in general just like she's not against me letting me get my cock inside her, but she wants to determine when and where and how it happens for both.

    Finally, I explained the reason I was disappointed that the bottle went missing. It meant access decided to something I wanted and it was a pricy bit of liquid.

    And there are things that seem pointless and arbitrary. Like not giving me socks and shoes at the watch party and having me in my bare feet. But I suspect it might be for the same reason my dad would make our dog move from lying here to lying there. He didn't really care that the dog was lying in one spot or another but to demonstrate dominance over the dog. I don't think she really cared if I wore socks and shoes or not. But she wanted me to know that she can take away things at will. And considering i could have had me trending to get guests in nothing but a cock cage, I didn't object.

    If she didn't like how I act when I drink I'm 100% sure I wouldn't be allowed to drink at all. Ever. As it is a drink mellows me out and relaxes me.
     
  13. Missy Tanya
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    Missy Tanya Senior Member

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    I agree that She is Always Right. Even when isn't. Like the saying goes, "Yes Dear" is always the correct answer.

    Now back to your question, I see it as you didn't drink without permission, no Foul. You didn't opened the bottle. You didn't have a drink without her knowing. She denied you from drinking till She was OK with it. You discussed your concerns, and She listened. It was her choice to let you have a drink in her presents.

    All in all win for all. Love your thoughts about the lifestyle you both have. Just remember, Yes Dear.....
     
  14. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Mistress2and4you

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    Relationships have to have trust at their foundation.

    You didn't hide the whiskey, and you didn't drink it, indeed it was meant as a special dinner for her. This was NOT a breach of trust.

    However, she seemed to react if some how she didn't trust you. I think her reaction was wrong, and it seems that maybe she realized that later. She owes you an apology, in my opinion. FLR / high protocol or not, it's OK for the dominant to acknowledge mistakes and own them. It doesn't make them 'less dominant' it makes them actual people that care for their submissives.
     
  15. Chaz69
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    Chaz69 Long term member

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    All relationships, both FLR and vanilla, need mutual trust and understanding, and communication is always key. So keep talking to each other and make sure you both understand and agree to the rules that you are following (and "rules" may be too strong of a word for certain situations, maybe "expectations" is better).

    I agree that you didn't break a rule by buying the whiskey, and you're allowed to ask permission to have a drink, and that would be pointless if there was no drink in the house, right?
     
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  16. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    It's simple: If she thinks you're wrong, then you're wrong.

    I don't even argue anymore. Given a few extra days to think about it, I'm going to come crawling back to her apologizing, so I just skip all of that and just instantly agree with her instead.
     
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  17. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Long term member

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    the fact that you are trying to explain and justify your actions says to me you are in need of much more training!
     
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  18. Servus
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    Servus Long term member

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    I think there is a reason, why your lady doesnt wamt you to drink.
    It is so simple.... And you know it.
    The first thought always is the right one.

    My lady for example - I have really big issues with any kind of addiction and am a dopaminejunky - didnt let me drink for a while even before we went to the FLR.

    She knew it was bad for me and tried to help me out if this downspiral.
    So we argued a lot.
    Beer - okay. ( Not the sexiest drink by the way), wine - okay ( sexier drink), hard alcohol - no go. ( even unsexier than beer) .
    So she has fear, that you get the mad man you can get when your drink this unsexy sort of alcohol.
    She enjoys you more, when you are sober.
    And you bought her sangria and for yourself hard stuff. Damn! The turn you get from these is so comparable like a mazda miata and a corvette in acceleration.

    Maybe if you mixed a sexy drink for you both, like a aperol spritz or a prosecco crodino or something similar. I guess she might have reacted different.

    Next time, give it another try - or better bury your addiction hound deep under the love your woman gives you and never let it out again.

    --Just a remote diagnosis by the way --
     
  19. cagedfellow
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    cagedfellow Active member

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    Each of you has agreed to the rule that you do not drink any alcohol without her permission.

    When you bought the bottle and it ended up on the table, wouldn't you have stuck your partner with this rule with few choice to say no?

    As @Ma'at Rebekat mentioned, you need practice and this situation, in which you tried to force a favorable response, was probably hurtful despite the fact that you organized this beautiful evening.

    Maybe you manipulated an opportunity to get what you wanted?

    If each of you wishes to learn an flr dynamic, you have just faced this first difficulty. You have to let go your desire to control and she has to acclimatize to her submissive's ability to twist situations.

    I think it's a process. And you should update regularly together if you are going in the right direction.

    As far as I'm concerned, what you did, if you want to pursue flr, deserves punishment. But your wife must be comfortable with it.

    For your part, an admission of your fault with her would comfort her I'm sure.
     
  20. Phil0110
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    Phil0110 Member

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    You wasn't wrong, her reaction is really strange.
     
  21. madams-sissysub
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    You were wrong, you should of texted while at the store and asked her if she wanted a drink to go with dinner, and if she said yes you should of asked if you could have a drink to.
     
  22. Caged for life
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    Caged for life Long term member

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    Doesn't sound like you were wrong, sounds like she needs to remember her own rules
     
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