I don't know if this is a silly idea but here goes: My wife, as you know is very disabled. I am her personal support worker and we role play as Master/slave. She likes to be called Master and doesn't like the connotation of Mistress or Goddess. So I've felt really burnt out lately. We had a bit of a tiff yesterday after a long period of me waiting on her hand and foot. Ultimately, I asked her today if she actually gets anything out of our Master/slave play or if it's just annoying and she puts up with it to simply encourage me to be a better caregiver. I suspect the latter. She isn't at all sexually driven anymore so I doubt there is a lot any kind of play can offer her. It's not her fault. Illness and maybe menopause take their toll. So I am contemplating asking for us to formalize the Master/slave relationship and define this permanently as not just a roleplay but a marriage contract. I need her to treat this philosophically as not a game but simply a state of being for us. I'm hoping she can reimagine me as her slave since as our lives as Wife and Husband is not very robust. Is that crazy? Would it matter? I don't know. Maybe it's not a good idea. Has anyone else done this?
contrary view. It sounds like you are a remarkably selfless person who is doing an amazing job at a thankless task. BUT, you are not getting your needs met. A slave relationship just cements that in a way that makes you better able to deal with it mentally. The underlying issues will still remain. I think you should go the opposite way and work on your relationship as people and lifelong friends, not journey deeper into D/s at this time.
I made that overture to her actually. Funny that you said that. I said that I need to be intimately touched sometimes. And even if it's in the context of discipline, I need that touch. I also said that we shouldn't stop loving each other as husband and wife but that we should formalize being Master and slave too. I need her to be more "present" as my master so I can surrender more fully (if that makes any sense). I agree with you in principle, and simultaneously want us to be more committed in the D/s P.S. I'm not always selfless. I do lose my temper with the situation. I then wish she would punish me for it. I hate when I falter.
I get that we wish our Dominants would punish us more actively, as it helps us improve, but it also creates work for them. I am with you 100%. I often wish my Wife would use the cane more to help me improve, but if I'm to improve as her lifestyle submissive I have to remember it's primarily up to me to find ways to get there. At the end of the day, I do think she needs to compromise a bit given what you do for her. Some intimacy is desperately needed for sure. I know I just see one side of the debate, but a cry for intimacy is a trump card that needs to be resolved first before most other issues in a married couple. A slave relationship is hardly likely to meet that need.