Variation vs Duration

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Newbeginning, Feb 4, 2021.

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  1. Newbeginning
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    Newbeginning Member

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    Often the focus at CM can be on the sheer duration of a given period of chastity, and there is no doubt that achieving a new personal best (personal worst?) length of denial is always something to note. However, my own experience is that in terms of creating an intense experience between me and my KH, variation is much more interesting than sheer duration. So, for example, I recently spent a full month locked without being let out for even a moment, and I found that pretty intense, but it was followed by being let out for short periods a couple times over a two week period, with varying levels of play allowed during each extra-cageual excursion. I then had four days allowed out of the cage, or, as my KH calls it, locked in my "air cage" on the honor system. I actually find it worse to be in the air cage, since i need to spend energy restraining myself. Now i'm back behind my mature metal and i have no idea if it's for a day, a week or a month.

    Another aspect of variation is how we play in and around chastity. I get daily maintenance beatings, and those can vary quite a lot in intensity, especially if i've screwed up or neglected a chore. But my KH has also implemented "hump days" on wednesday, where something different always happens, and i never know what, but i can expect it will be somewhat more intense than a typical maintenance session. This creates a lot of suspense and excitement. I also detect that my KH really enjoys springing surprises on me. I like it too.

    A final point of significant variation is the degree of arousal and/or release that i am allowed. I've seen quite a few people on CM who say that they are never allowed orgasms any more. But to me, it seems more powerful and more affecting if the allowance of sexual satisfaction is unpredictable, but runs within a wide gamut, from zero to hero, as it were. For me, the very unpredictability increases both the frustration and the eventual satisfaction, as well as the drop after satisfaction when the whole chaotic wheel resets.

    Do other people find that variable play is the most rewarding? Or perhaps are there aspects to consistency that i'm missing. interested to see how the community thinks about this dichotomy.
     
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  2. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 9/9

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    I think you describe the part of chastity too many of us miss and I thank you for taking the time to remind us all how chastity can come (or not cum) in a variety of forms. Count me among the guilty who falls into the trap of ever increasing durations--both in wear of the cage and in the denial or orgasm.

    What you describe seems like the proverbial dream for so many of us. We should all take a moment and really consider what matters most.

    Plus, your keyholder's description of being unlocked as an "air cage" is a brilliant one. I am going to borrow that phrase.

    So for January, I was in a real cage 70% of the time, and in my Air Cage the other 30% of the time! But I was in chastity 100%!!

    Nice post. Good job.
     
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  3. Newbeginning
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    Newbeginning Member

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    Thanks Lazlo. i can always count on you for an encouraging response!
     
  4. King Hippo
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    King Hippo Long term member

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    It is different for everyone I guess... Compared to most I have very short "waiting periods" between orgasms, but it isn't like we use a schedule for it. I think the things my wife values as activities for us are far different than most here...

    Nevertheless, none of this is any fun for me unless she is into at the time... So we just got at whatever she wants when she is ready for some fun.... because I am always ready.
     
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  5. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    I do agree. It's a bit of a male-centric cliche that we always have to go for longer/longest. More more more. I like your approach. Good luck
     
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  6. Sherrie’sPleasure
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    Sherrie’sPleasure Long term member

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    Although both the “journey” and destination are important dynamics; for me it’s all about the journey and not so much the destination. How we all navigate through the journey of being Chaste along with orgasm denial, during sexual play and submission to my Goddess and her pleasure adds to the “journey dynamic”.
    the “destination” dynamic is at the point of release and allowed orgasm by my Goddess and KH.
    This is pure and fulfilling pleasure for both of us!
     
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  7. Queens servant73
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    Queens servant73 Long term member

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    While my Wife wants me caged all the time, where she used to give me a week off or a long weekend free occasionally, she does keep me guessing as far as week to week play time.
    I know M-Thurs evenings before bed I’m probably giving her oral for her orgasm or two before bed. But she may decide to unlock and tease me, may allow piv, or something else also. And Friday through Sunday, it can be anything, and it’s usually some play in the mornings on Saturday and or Sunday as well. I never know when she’ll give me a ruin or a the monthly full orgasm either.
    It definitely makes this whole way of living much more fun, I stay very submissive and eager to please her. And she is loving having this total control and power over me, especially when our roles were reversed for so long.
     
  8. Sherrie’sPleasure
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    Sherrie’sPleasure Long term member

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    This is how we roll also!
     
  9. Echo321
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    Echo321 Long term member

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    Mostly the same here. While my orgasm denial time is pretty much set and she doesn’t deviate (anywhere from a few weeks to a few months) I’ll be unlocked for a couple hours and occasionally a couple days, especially if she’s in the mood to be “taken” by me since her rule is if I’m not caged I’m free to be selfishly male, with the only restriction being I cannot cum. It’s nice and breaks things up so being locked up never feels stale for either of us.
     
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  10. Deleted member 100175
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    this sounds a lot like us @Newbeginning - I'm sure there'll be a month lock-up sooner or later, but we're not going for extremes.

    I'm in a lot, but out frequently for short bursts or an overnight, regularly but always on the air-cage honour system.

    She did say yesterday was that one of the things that most puts her in the mood is me laying next to her wild & free and hard; so chastity is becoming something of a self-fulfilling prophecy, or Schrödingers cock - simultaneously both hard and not hard until someone opens the box ...
     
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  11. lockedforfun
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    lockedforfun Long term member

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    Not knowing how long is amazingly hot as far as I'm concerned. Knowing it probably won't be a year, but could be... Knowing it probably won't be tomorrow night, but it could be...
     
  12. cogman
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    cogman Long term member

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    Variety is the spice of life.

    The simple objective of just being locked for longer sounds a little tedious although many here just are. Keeping on that path only can ultimately lead to permanent then where do you go from there?

    I supose, if keeping me locked for longer or orgasm denied for longer turned her on and made her happy then I am happy. At the end of the day its her choice.
     
  13. BavarianWoman
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    BavarianWoman I rule

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    Not an easy question.
     
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