I, like many other posters am wondering if chastity is something for me. I have a diaper fetish to and I discovered male incontinence pads to bridge the gap for my love for diapers. I really enjoy wearing the pads when my wife and I are out with friends because it gives me joy knowing no one knows. It's a cheap harmless thrill. I have a pad on at least 4 days of the week and she never knows. I love the idea of chastity and have brought it up to her and she is not into it. I have a feeling she thinks I will bug her about having it on, asking her to do things to me. At this moment my goal would it be to wear the cage when I have strong sexual urges and still not let her know I have it on. I have the strong sexual urges a lot and I feel that the pads help me control the rate at which I approach her for sex. We have sex maybe once every other month and it's less than satisfactory cause she's not really participating and tired every night. I would love more sex but I'm getting used to my routine of wearing pads. I respect and love my wife very much. We have three boys and one is a handful due to ADD so that obviously doesn't help our intimacy. And yes, I cook most dinners and help with the kids all the time. I do not sit and watch TV ever. So I'm not lazy! In conclusion, I would like to get a cheap device from DH Gate and wear it more than the incontinence pads. My goal would be to prevent me from begging for intimacy, not to get her to do kinky things (which she won't do). In fact, I think a chastity device is more acceptable than incontinence pads. Plus, I could still have something under my pants without anyone knowing. Cheap thrill! Alright....tear me apart!
A chastity device will have you begging for intimacy more than you are now. It is constantly moving on your penis and stimulating you all day long.
Have you really tried to educate her on chastity and the benefits it can have on your relationship and of course her benefits. It might be worthwhile to find a couple of books written from the female prospective, I recommend "Male Chastity" by Lucy Fairbourn or "a beginners guide to make chastity" by Mistress Georgia Ivey Green. A lot of the Mistresses here at the mansion have great info and tips as well in regards to sparking an interest in chastity with your wife. I bought my mistress a couple books and that was a big part of what sold her she could understand why we would both want this from both partners perspectives.
I don't think "educating" your partner is the best way to go about things it smacks of you saying you know what is best and if she would only listen to you then all would be well. I wrote a book specifically for you guys to try and help you introduce your partner to male chastity. One of the biggest points is that you have to allow your partner to see how it would be beneficial to her. The way it seems to stand at the moment you are saying you want to start something that she doesn't understand and has no interest in. Not the best place to introduce anything I wouldn't have thought.
I have been on chastity sites, forums, and read blogs for about 10 years. One of the first mistakes I've noticed people make is telling their wife that locking yourself will help you do things around the house, appreciate her more etc. They will ask, why can't you do those things without me denying you sex? There of course is a hormonal answer, chemicals in the brain yada yada yada she doesn't want to hear it. Although she will probably be the beneficiary and improve many things, the are just that...benifits. It is still asking her to do or act differently. It's a favor, so ask her like it is. I have seen the most success when men owned up to their weakness and asked them for help controlling their masterbation. That the loss of control of that part of their life makes the rest easier to focus on. Explain that the only thing she needs to do differently is be the one that decides when it needs to be used...and let's face it, were you ever really making that section before? I was married, even if I initiated, it was always her decision if anything happened. Next part is the hardest...don't pester her. If you really think this will benefit her, let yourself succumb to chastity and be the man you say chastity will make you. Don't fiddle with your fishing line, or keep checking, when it's time she will instigate. You can't tell someone they have control and tell them how to act. Actions speak louder than words and if this will really benefit her, she will notice. Just don't get frustrated and tell her she doing it wrong or beg her to tease you or unlock you. That will probably get you in the chastity door, if you would also like tease and denial, d/s, or any of the kinkier sides of chastity...well you will have to talk. About what turns you on, what she is comfortable with etc. This can be a vulnerable time for her, she's finding out something that you've kept from her, it sounds like you are looking for an excuse to not have sex with her, or worse...you need to be kept horny and desperate to find her attractive. Those of course are not true, but rest assured she will be thinking that and more. So I would suggest that you make sure you emphasize that it is because of your faults and weakness that you need help controlling yourself. That you are upset with yourself for allowing this to dominate your marriage, and that with her help you would like to refocus on her needs. By the way, once you spend time and effort making her life easier, she sees your sacrifices, and in general isn't annoyed by your presence, mad at your inattentiveness, and you appreciate her value...women seem to want sex more, yes even yours. Good luck,