Discussion in 'The Tower' started by Thatgirl, Apr 4, 2017.
And herin lies the disconnect between me an so many on this site. "Handing me the keys and asking me if I want to continue" would go very differently in this house than I suspect yours. Though i certainly won't pretend I take no enjoyment from the cage at all - that would be a lie - I can tell you than I'd be more or less okay with going back to fucking my hot girlfriend whenever the hell I want to.
She likes me in the cage. So i tolerate it. Frankly her job is far harder than most KHs here specifically because she doesn't have that trump card. Her challenge is to maintain control while keeping things enjoyable enough on my end to keep me engaged. Does she have to make every day a party? No. Will I accept punishments, such as this one, that I don't like and that involve a period of time living in a way I would not tolerate permanently? Yes. She makes my day to day life fun and satisfying enough that i will wear a cage for her. But the line than runs down the middle is where she walks with all this. Unlike other keyhilders who must pretend "control" over men who frankly beg to submit.
No! No shots - I promise. That was meant as an even keeled clarification of our dynamic. Hand to bob.
No harm done here I was just messing around
Quick question, if you wake up one day with the intentions of stopping it all and not tolerating it anymore as you'd say, who would have the final say ?
If the answer is you, then you're kind of letting her dominate you in a way
What a sass
Silly girl... Paddles are for play! Now the cane can get serious. It only took one caning to realize it hurt A LOT!!! In my life paddles are for play and the cane is for punishment and the cane is avoided if at all possible unless of course Mistress is wanting to play rough. The marks lasted for close to a week, but then I did have it coming I guess.
We play a dice game we came up with on our own and no matter which one of us rolls doubles, it is my ass that pays the price. One whack for each spot on the dice. It still amazes me that snake eyes are so hard to hit but double sixes seem to come up quite often and both have the same odds.
I can agree with that in the hands of my mistress a cane is nothing but a weapon of destruction, thankfully not used often
@CJ's hubby ,
That's your dynamic ,that is not their dynamic .
Everyone's relationship is different and how they do things is different to .
There is no "one twue way" (and yes I deliberately put a "w" in there) to do this lifestyle !!
Thank you very much for your reply. Every situation is unique and that what makes life exciting. Putting yourself out there for people to comment on both positive or negative says a lot about your as a person. No one has the right to judge what is right or wrong for you or for any of us. We can share our lives and all of us can learn and grow. Thanks again for reply
Very interesting and well put. It is hard to find the right way for yourself in one respect because of our own fantasies that we are playing out through our wives, KH's, Mistresses, and so forth. Those of us that are lucky enough to have loving women open minded and willing to placate our sexual desires should feel very fortunate. Those of us whose women really take the reins and make this into their own kink are the ones you really have to watch out for!! lol I suspect that there are many many men on this site that do not have anyone to actually hold the key and even fewer that have an emotional investment with those that hold their key. Then even fewer whose KH's actually take the controls to the next level and get satisfaction from withholding our orgasms. Those women are few. My wife gets solicited often by men asking her to hold the key to their cage. I don't mind and find it endearing and sad at the same time for those who are not as fortunate as I am to have a woman willing to be kinky with me.
Much as I enjoy knowing there are others on here who seem to have a realistic lifestyle, that final phrase shows why myself and others became interested in male chastity. This expectation that a guy can have sex with a female whenever he wants shows a disregard for the desires of the female. How about having sex when she wants. You don't have to be in a chastity device to make it more about her.
I sometimes think of your situation compared to mine. Mostly because even though I introduced this cage thing to her, we have developed so far down the rabbit hole that she is really liking me being caged sometimes more than I.
I wouldn't change anything, and am very happy, that doesn't mean that it isn't difficult at times. And when it is, it doesn't mean I love or respect her any less. We do this because it turns us on, and if it started to be more trouble than it's worth for both we would stop. Our relationship comes first. I realize I am a somewhat better partner this way so we will continue.
Cane is horrible. i only ever had it once and i never wants it again.
There's been a setback unfortunately. As part of his punishment, I made him wear a large plug to work yesterday...well he was at work longer than anticipated and ended up wearing it for around 8-9 hours. He pretty much had an erection in his cage on and off for most of the time and had noticed some edema yesterday morning before the plug. He came home from work and the edema was worse. He took out the plug and attempted to relax and let it go down and it looked fine, but woke up this morning with pretty severe edema and pain. I converted his evotions into ringless mode to no avail. He is now going cage-free today, but I will be with him the whole day
I hope you get the cane soon enough
Due respect, I assumed it could go without saying that "sex whenever I want" comes with the caveat that she also wants it...
It's also worth nothing that since the day we met I'm not sure I ever rmemever Her turning me down for sex. Hell, I've turned her down more than she's turned me down.
My being in the cage is often as hard for her as it is for me. Sometimes I think worse, despite my ambivalence about being caged, because she's got to not only deny me, but herself, all while wanting sex more or less all the time herself. The trade offs of chastity for her only just tilt in direction of keeping me caged sometimes.
I do understand that 3 weeks and a paddling is tame for many here. I'll try to post along the 3 weeks. The time willl be a legitimate bitch for me.
The paddling - maybe I could take more, idk, as I've said I don't get off on it in any way so it's crazy hard for me to stay still and let her whack me more then a couple time. Especially with that big heavy rubber paddle she uses when pissed. The few times she's whacked me more than a few times she had to restrain me. I'm getting better with pain but I am not good with it at all.
I wish sometimes I got off on the cage time and the paddling stuff. But it's a good thing I don't. I'm a defiant sub as it is. Take away those two glaring weaknesses of mine and I'd be doing shit all the time just to get spanked or get time added.
My three weeks starts tomorrow because my dick looked like an over-full water balloon this morning even after a full day waiting for the edema to go down from the previous morning. Normally my (frequent) edema in the Evotions is gone by midday and is never severe. But this time she happened to plug me for the whole day and as such my "litttle head" (@LadyS) never once went into small or "turtle" mode and the edema stayed all day and overnight. So I start my sentence tomorrow after I've had the day for my penis to start looking like Bruce Banner BEFORE he gets angry again.
It should be noted that the three weeks promises to be hard for me. For her to insist on the large plug like that is not like her. I think she's trying to send a message this three weeks. So I'll try to report how it goes. Undoubtedly it will be tame for many, but for anyone who's read our posts it should be clear that I'm paying a hefty price in relative terms.
Yeah without a chastity cage we are free to throw women on the bed, and rut as we please huh.
No matter how much I've ever initiated sex, all sexual activity that I've ever had was always in the end, decided by the female. Cage or no cage FLR or traditional, sex whenever we want always comes with the understanding that she wants it as well.
We are very much the same.... in 12 years there are four times I can remeber not wanting sex... after both the babies were born... it took me a While to bounce back from that.... years and years ago when My boy thought I was cheating on him ... frankly that just pissed me off and it had its own effect and the last time was when I was on antidepressants.
I think for a woman that's prett damn good. I bet no one I know has a sex drive like me.
@Macintyre's, I guess I got to apologize. I didn't intend anything critical to anyone's dynamic in my comment. And now that the comment police is on me I guess I now have to reframe from commenting. I am finding this community is not open or welcoming to everyone's 'dynamics'
Now now.... don't take it as, oh woe is me.... your opinion is just as important as everyone else's ... so don't go bring up something completely unrelated to this thread if you have a problem about it than start a thread about it.
It was clearly stated that @Thatgirl is doing her own thing and doenst need any suggestions as to how to take care of @Thatguyontheinternet
I believe I would have the final say. Although I recently approached her about giving up chastity, at least for a while, and I'm still in the cage. So take my belief with a grain of salt.
And if ci
And of course I'm letting her dominate me. I've got 6" and 60lbs on her. But it's how she uses the leverage the cage provides her to manipulate me into staying in the cage (the very thing that gives her that power) despite me not liking it much, that I think she deserves way more credit for. And where I see the distinction beteeen those who want to be locked and those who's women must actively keep them "semi-willingly" locked.